Black or White

Either you have or want a relationship with Yahweh/God or don’t. This is black and white. Gray is not an option. It really is the best decision in the world to make that contrite decision to have that stabilizing, loving relationship with our loving Creator, the Almighty God of the universe. And no matter what you believe, that is the truth. And choosing to believe it or not almost comical, like deciding that the color white is indeed white versus deciding to proudly say that white is orange and screaming that haughtily at the sky as if that makes it so. Why thr Bible rightly proclaims, “A fool says in his heart that there is no God.” It is a fact that not only does God exist but that He loves us and wants to have a relationship with every precious person He lovingly made on purpose. And Jesus is our way. It is black and white.

Gray is a hypothetical construct to make people feel better without the discomfort of committing to something that makes you feel guilty about still sinning doing things you want to do that are not really eternally good for you. Gray sucks. And God says He hates gray, it will be spewed out of His mouth, He says.

Love Him or don’t and be very careful about don’t. That decision has eternal consequences. And it is such an incredible joy and peace to be close to Yahweh/God! God is worthy of our effort and praise and certainly our trust. He is worthy of all praise!❤

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I Can Only Imagine

Heaven is our encouragement for ourselves and for encouraging each other. And I am torn between just really looking forward to/thinking about heaven and working harder to share Jesus and help other people be saved and go to Heaven to. I almost feel n guilty about dreaming about heaven when so many people are not going to be there because they have not accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior. So I can look forward to Heaven but focus now on reaching as many as I can with the Good News that Jesus Saves all who humbly ask Him to. And Heaven will be that much sweeter when I am there in person.😄❤

Oh What a Difference a Choice and a Night Makes

So, we begin our story on a busy day yesterday. So busy, I barely stopped moving all day. We tried to do homeschool while watching our 9 month old grandson who was ill, with meals and dishes and she decided to go get gas and shop at Target before picking up her sick baby and so without dinner or anytime to change we raced over to my son’s baseball game, got home late and got to bed late. And I was anticipated the same craziness today but with band practice instead of baseball and PE in the morning. Crazy, right?

Instead, I am just headed to sleep and I get a “Mom!” from my son. Unusual and never good, I get in there and I will not gross you out but I had a lot of cleaning up to do. He was suddenly sick. He is hardly ever sick but he had saved up. He must have eaten something awful from the canteen at baseball. It cleared his entire digestive system. Water wouldn’t stay down. All night long it was clean up, try to sleep, awoken up in a couple hours to clean up and nurse the boy.

I made an executive decision and texted to cancel PE and the babysitting today. And I slept a few hours before the next bout. And here we are. Sleep deprived but at least able to sleep a couple hours at a time between nursing the gut along toward healing and cleaning. Lord help us moms!

So “oh what a night” is explained. Next explains the choice.

My son had, in the morning when he was supposed to be doing school and up to now has been, decided to play hooky and watch a Netflix movie that happened to be a horror flick. What possessed him, I know not, but I believe it opened a door to an evil spirit to come in. He confessed to me at night when everything that could go wrong n in a day did go wrong. Because as soon as he had finished that movie around noon, the baby who had been well was suddenly sick, the game went poorly and my son played like he had never played a game in his life, my husband was very aggitated and grumpy, my daughter was an emotional wreck, I was suddenly overwhelmed and tired, and then the illness.

Upon seeing the demonic activity allowed in and hearing the confession, we joined hands and rebuked the demon in Jesus’ powerful name and Zac rede dictated his life to Jesus and was baptized in the Holy Spirit and rejected his choice and evil that was pressing on him. I prayed over the house and loudly commanded the evil to leave in Jesus’ name and pleaded God’s Holy Spirit to live here and bring us the fruits of the Spirit in abundance to reside here.

He did. All was immediately made right. My daughter had peace and fell into a deep, restful sleep she stayed n in through the night’s ups and downs. My husband relaxed and had peace and even joy. I received energy and peace. Zac had peace even though he had to undergo a reminder purging of his system. And the baby is not here today but is doing better.

The devil will come in any way he can and is allowed- be it horror movies, pornography, personal choices of pride, sexual misconduct, gluttony, idolatry, whatever it is- even to Christian homes. He must be sent packing by the authority we have with the Holy Spirit. And we must make it right by humbly choosing Jesus again. Please learn this lesson with us. Be encouraged that we have the cure through the Great Physician Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. Praise God!!❤❤❤

Benefits of Being Married Long Term to an Addict

Many people believe there is only negative in being married to an addict (it does not matter the addiction of choice- they all look the same ugly in a spouse and are all rooted in false beliefs, lies, sin and pride). There are many advantages and blessings. Some are the following:

1. Being humbled every day allows a contrite heart to flourish. It is next to impossible to feel like the center of anyone’s life or attention who already has their addiction as the center. Yes, the downside is that often even God and obedience comes after the addiction, but I am showing the positive and it is true that you cannot help but be humble when married to an addict. This helps a lot when working on contrition with the Lord. And that is a hurdle to faith most people really struggle with.

2. You depend on and trust in God only and that is very healthy spiritually. You cannot depend on the addict often but you realize quickly (because of the contrition mentioned earlier) that you can always depend on and trust in God.

3. You love truth. You realize that the addict, although in denial with lies and false beliefs, is riddled with guilt and fear all the time and lies like they breathe. This is so obvious and lies upon lies gets old. So you love truth. I read my Bible all the time, loving every word, every truth it is. You truly appreciate truth more than most do.

4. You accept and learn to be content in God. You appreciate everything good in life, really appreciate every blessing, every kind word, every word of encouragement, every friend who sticks around, every prayer where you feel God there with you. You appreciate more. You are thankful for a home with air conditioning, transportation, food, all those blessings people take for granted. You are content with unimportance. You are happy with every blessing and know full well that God is enough every day, every time, every moment.

5. You develop a thick chin. You realize that what God says about you is the truth and are thankful for it. You realize the truth is not in the accusations and put downs and anger/rages that always accompany the adddictions because of their nature and guilt and fear. You realize that God lovingly made you and sleep alone for years or not, you are beautiful inside, God lovingly made and gifted you. You are incredibly beautiful because God’s glory shines through you. So beautiful!

6. Forgiveness comes easily. You have to forgive so much and are humbled and contrite that forgiveness comes super easily. You have to forgive to survive. You forgive because you love. And you forgive because God forgave you and you want to be forgiven and have your prayers answered.

7. Greater faith in God. You rely on God for every encouragement, every good thing, every solution to every abuse, every emotional anything, healing when stress is getting to you, every comfort when lonely, everything. This is invaluable in a walk with the Lord and makes us closer. And heaven will be so much more beautiful!

8. You show them God’s true love. When you stay with an addict, you have the chance to show them love. In fact, the act of staying married to the addict is the strongest show of love along with the forgiveness. Love is patient, kind, self-sacrificing, humble, real, truthful, joyful, peaceful, faithful (even if they are not), etc. We are responsible for how we love. And love is purely beautiful.

9. You are in obedience to God. God hates divorce and if it can possibly be avoided, it should be. There are many blessings and rewards for obedience to God.

I hope you understand better the blessings involved in being and staying married long term to an addict. No one is perfect except Jesus. Staying married is your choice I would say largely because of these blessings and love. And God’s love is the greatest force I know.❤

When We Get What We Don’t Want

I know and understand now from my own life and experience why Jesus calls us sheep and not co-shepherds with Him. Sheep are really dumb, hard-headed creatures. They follow blindly, even to fall off a cliff. They bleed and whine and beg even if what they want is horrible for them. They fall for wolves in sheep’s clothing. Sheep need direction. They will literally eat their grass roots and all until there is no grass to propogate and they starve, so have to be moved around conatantly.

I digress, the bigger story is this. Job. I get Job. His story is our story but with a great man who made right decisions but still had to be put straight by God in thr end. He got more than what he wanted. He got everything then nothing then more than he had with everything. And it was to prove a point.

Job started with good decisions and God blessed him for it. The devil wanted to put him down to size, jealous of him and how much God had given him or something or just wanted to bring down and destroy a good man because he’s evil. Regardless, God allow the test, first with all his stuff and then his body illness. He left him with 4 well-meaning but incorrect friends and one nagging fish wife. And Job said the one thing that proved his worth as a righteous man. He said (my paraphrase), “Can I rejoice in only the good things God gives and not the bad?” And that attitude is epic and contrite and amazing. He also wished for God to tell him if he sinned somehow to deserve this. So God did. He told Job what’s up and how enormous He is and that we cannot comprehend why He does what He does. And God of course is always right. So to show Job who n is n really in charge through it all, God gives him health and double what he had before materially and 10 more kids.

God is in charge. He is huge and we cannot comprehend why He does what He does and hoe much is His design versus our bad choices or sins. We take the good with the bad. That is our act of contrition to the Lord. It is our salvation. We are contrite of heart and so can accept Jesus’ forgiveness and sacrifice for our sins. Then we accept a permanent (Lord willing and with His help) state of contrition to accept whatever comes our way. And God rewards this obedience and praise and thanks by blessing us, either now or in and with heaven. We have eternal liven in luxury for bowing low.

And if we consider this story in light of our own, it is very clear why Job is a book in the Bible and why Jesus considers us sheep and the importance of contrition and trust in God for every little thing.❤

Leave the Past in the Pasture or You’ll Step in it Again

Even if the past was fantastic beyond measure and the best time of your life and more meaningful than anything else ever, still, even then, leave the past in the pasture behind you or you’ll step in something unpleasant. You went through that time, for better or worse and it meant something significant for better or worse but it was foe a season. How do you know? You would still be there if it was meant for now. Simple. Oh, one thing I wish I could scream to the world is that life is really very simple and meant to be so. The simple things matter, what remains matters, the present matters. It is simple. If you left someone awful or magnificent in the past for any reason or if they left you, that was the answer. People never throw away or leave that which they truly love. There is your answer. Accept and embrace the pain of it and leave it there and walk on. There is more to life than memories and histories. That is part of us but we need to focus on the now. God has us where we are for a reason. It is beautiful and meaningful now. The past may have held more meaning or more happiness but just because that of now is different makes it no less important and meaningful, just different. Stay here. Own it. Be present fully. If every day were a party, there would be no party.❤

Unknown Past

Unknown past, which beckons me find ye which never has or shall be. You excite my mind with a million “what ifs?” And befit my present with possible this or that or the other, a variable buffet or so many unknowns that could have happened this way.

Unknown past, with your cruel hoax of multiple forks I could have taken or awaken, could have hoped for, could have shorn. And alas, unknown past, with your sheepish grin, come. I have something to say to you, oh busy one.

You must leave me this instant and you’re welcome no more, no more will you be welcome at this soul’s mind’s door. For surely there is not a path I did take that is out of step on my journey, beyond hope for escape.

And God is with me on this journey I have landed, so plan it or not, unknown past, I demand that you leave me forever. God demands that you go, and I second that notion for past long ago would never happen how you say that it would.

I am with God and the present is good and the future is even brighter and clear. So past unknown keep your distractions from here.❤