We who are more, ahem, mature understand the value in our accumulative memory. When we have hit a closeness with the Lord and managed to forgive everyone and accept everything else, what we have left is a close loving relationship with God and good memories. These things are like a gold crown on our mature heads. They yield a rich heart that is full of love, not judgment, rich with compassion, not bitterness. And I am, for the first time, properly thankful to God for my many years. I am so thankful for all the good memories and people God has blessed my life with, so many. I miss many of them but know I can visit in my memories or even pick up a phone or pen and paper. Some I am still a part of. And I am thankful that I have not shaken everything off in my journey to get here in health spiritually and emotionlly. I am not signing off until Jesus snatches me up, but I wanted to just bask a moment in beautiful and bountiful great memories and blessings. God is so very good, friends. Don’t neglect His prominent place in your celebrations. May He bless you for it!😄❤
May those we’ve lost be not forgot.
May those who served be blessed.
For service us was serving God
And they took eternal rest.
For when we give our lives for friends
We show what Jesus did for us
So may the families left behind
Find comfort, hope and rest.❤
Those who know me understand that I mark significant, meaningful events with a haircut. And I took about 4 inches off this time. It commemorates that which I need to remember and I write this blog to remember that. I and my Lord know what that event is and we will keep it to ourselves but it needed documentation. May God be praised in all the earth!❤❤❤
Been very contemplative lately. Perhaps it is all the spring cleaning and fun (pool, park, friends over, library, etc.) Or maybe it is helping my mom with a lot of things she needs help with all of a sudden. Or maybe it was some recent bad news but for whatever reason, I have been more contentedly contemplative about my history.
There used to be people I could not shake, one in particular, no matter what I did. And fighting it seemed to make it worse. This history I had with this individual changed my life. However the symbiosis ended expediently and painfully so goodbye was aggressively toilsome and closure was an evasive flower always around the bend but never arriving.
History of this sort was my nemesis. I wanted to be angry but I am not. I wanted to scream but could not from the numbness. For years this followed me, tortured me, distracted me.
I kept praying. I began fasting weekly in September of last year and continue to this day. Always praying and talking to God about eliminating this history’s hold on me.
I realized today driving home that history is indeed history, or as much as it ever should be or can be. It is still a part of you but not a distraction from the present, not an impedence.
And that, my friend, is freedom. I am free now. It is God who gives freedom, I am convinced within myself. God is the patient giver of loving grace to free us from ourselves and make us so much better resultantly. I have this peace and joy from God I have not had for so very long and deeper than I have ever had. There is a tightness with God that I think cannot be had in any way other than His getting you through some serious hardship(s). God is so very good!❤❤❤