I Cut My Hair

Those who know me understand that I mark significant, meaningful events with a haircut. And I took about 4 inches off this time. It commemorates that which I need to remember and I write this blog to remember that. I and my Lord know what that event is and we will keep it to ourselves but it needed documentation. May God be praised in all the earth!❤❤❤

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Contemplating Freedom from History Through History

Been very contemplative lately. Perhaps it is all the spring cleaning and fun (pool, park, friends over, library, etc.) Or maybe it is helping my mom with a lot of things she needs help with all of a sudden. Or maybe it was some recent bad news but for whatever reason, I have been more contentedly contemplative about my history.

There used to be people I could not shake, one in particular, no matter what I did. And fighting it seemed to make it worse. This history I had with this individual changed my life. However the symbiosis ended expediently and painfully so goodbye was aggressively toilsome and closure was an evasive flower always around the bend but never arriving.

History of this sort was my nemesis. I wanted to be angry but I am not. I wanted to scream but could not from the numbness. For years this followed me, tortured me, distracted me.

I kept praying. I began fasting weekly in September of last year and continue to this day. Always praying and talking to God about eliminating this history’s hold on me.

I realized today driving home that history is indeed history, or as much as it ever should be or can be. It is still a part of you but not a distraction from the present, not an impedence.

And that, my friend, is freedom. I am free now. It is God who gives freedom, I am convinced within myself. God is the patient giver of loving grace to free us from ourselves and make us so much better resultantly. I have this peace and joy from God I have not had for so very long and deeper than I have ever had. There is a tightness with God that I think cannot be had in any way other than His getting you through some serious hardship(s). God is so very good!❤❤❤

Nostalgia

Our old band. Those were the days. I love our new band but just wanted to reminisce about the old band. Ahhh. Miss it. The new is great but every band family has its own flavor. Homage to Smooth Sentiment Band.❤😚🎤🎹🀄🎸

And here is the new:https://youtu.be/gB8izHt17X8

Leave the Past in the Pasture or You’ll Step in it Again

Even if the past was fantastic beyond measure and the best time of your life and more meaningful than anything else ever, still, even then, leave the past in the pasture behind you or you’ll step in something unpleasant. You went through that time, for better or worse and it meant something significant for better or worse but it was foe a season. How do you know? You would still be there if it was meant for now. Simple. Oh, one thing I wish I could scream to the world is that life is really very simple and meant to be so. The simple things matter, what remains matters, the present matters. It is simple. If you left someone awful or magnificent in the past for any reason or if they left you, that was the answer. People never throw away or leave that which they truly love. There is your answer. Accept and embrace the pain of it and leave it there and walk on. There is more to life than memories and histories. That is part of us but we need to focus on the now. God has us where we are for a reason. It is beautiful and meaningful now. The past may have held more meaning or more happiness but just because that of now is different makes it no less important and meaningful, just different. Stay here. Own it. Be present fully. If every day were a party, there would be no party.❤

Rebuilding Contemplations 2 Years Ago

2 Years ago, I lost my daddy. I lost the man that loved me most in the world and who was always there for me. I also lost a liar friend that swore love to me and my family and just rejected us and split. (All is forgiven and we still love you, just recapping my pain of 2 years ago.) I also lost a friend my age in a car accident suddenly at the same time. Two years ago, I was a mess, a pitiable disaster shell of a girl… broken to understate it. The strongest crumble hardest when broken.

Absolutely, that was a defining moment of my life. Absolutely, that completely impoverished soul of mine was the means of God finally breaking this pride in me down to ashes and rebuilding a humble me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me spiritually, in light of eternity. Because now, as I keep choosing God to be my strength and keep humbly close to Him, even living with frequent opposition and injustice, everything keeps me humble and closer to God.

And now I am strongest of my life because I am weakest and God is able to work through me. This, my friend, is beautiful. I am thankful for two years ago and reflect upon it thoughtfully and often. I still get emotional but it is always tempered with joy and peace now. If you are going through a lot now, take heart. Hope is in Jesus always and with love. Don’t be afraid to break for Him and He will rebuild you way better. God is so very good!!❤❤❤

More Christmas Decorating

Here is our third home decorated by us. We have now decorated my Great Aunts Evelyne and Ellen’s home, our home and now my mom’s home. So three homes now have we decorated. But I confess that I had the most fun with this one because my mom never throws any Christmas memory items away and it was setting up all the decorations I grew up with. Some were new, but many were what we had in our home when I was still receiving presents and had big family dinners and parties and all the excitement came rolling on back. What joy!❤

We Rocked Today

There is little that is more completely exhilarating than a family team project where everyone works together on a project and accomplishes something bigger. Today, we did that and the results are beautiful and will last. Even if the rocks give way over time, we have that unified bonding memory together. It is beautiful! God is so very good!!❤