Lead the Whole Gig

Tonight we had a gig. Our band was short our lead male vocalist as his wife is now in hospice- God, bless them, please. So I sang lead the whole night. God kept my voice strong the entire 3 hours. Praise be to God for helping us. They were pleased and I thank God for it. He helped us. God is so good! 😃❤️

When I am Weak, God is Strongest

I was weak today. I was worn out physically and mentally and emotionally drained. There is a lot culminatinv and on top of it all my cheek now hurts where the basal cell skin cancer is. God is healing it as we speak (a combo of prayer and Him reminding me what to do to treat it, which I had forgotten) but healing is even painful and distracting. So I am weak.

Fortunately, when I am weak and even weakest, God is strongest. He shows His great power in me- thr power to heal, give joy, show His glory, strengthen me, provide peace, take care of everything I cannot. So I am very very thankful for being weak and trust God even more. He always provides!! Praise God!!

God is Lifting Me Up

I mentioned that I have been going through what some call a dark night of the soul, a horrible murkiness of mind and lethargy of body and will for no apparent reason- only God knows it. It was almost like a depression but not triggered by anything in my awareness.

In my past life and active addiction I would have covered that discomfort with stimulants that supress any bad feelings. Here in recovery, I feel everything and appreciate everything. Should I only praise and thank God when everything is going well? I am happy to feel things, even not always knowing what to do with that. I am happy to feel, even if it bad. I am long overdo.

But recently, God has been lifting me up from that murkiness. I have had headaches and allergic reactions but have walked more with the dog for both our sakes. And I have decided to do some pruning of my plants while God is pruning what He must in me and I have cried while I pruned- very therapeutic- and worked on sewing myself a quilted purse. And it comes and goes but I feel a fog slowly and trepidly lifting. I have hope of being out of it altogether soon. And God was with me all the while. We talked a lot. I worshiped a lot. I am thankful. Whatever happens, we do it together. Praise God!😃❤️

Shaking a Fist at God

This imagery has been brought into my head lately. Whenever we insist on doing what we want- and for years as an addict I did this so I speak from experience- we are pridefully shaking our fist at God. We are saying we want what we want and don’t want to hear what our loving Creator wants from or for us. We are praying our will be done rather than God’s will be done. We are screaming that we know better than almighty God, who made us.

God brought me, loved me, into recovery, into humble submission to His plan. Jesus bought with His own blood and cleaned me up inside and out. I am not who I was and I am free now and joyful, I have peace. All this because I have accepted His plan for me and humbled myself to accept love and grace. It is so very beautiful! I am so thankful! Praise God!😃❤️