Step 10 of the pantry going in was scraping the popcorn off the ceiling (and tomorrow I paint it white). And the top cabinets are in and can be painted white tomorrow and then installed for steps 13-20. Lol Then we put up the tile backsplash (super excited about that) and hardware and all that’s left is the sink and faucet installation and we are done!!!! This is so much work but we are doing most of it ourselves so are saving money and it is beautiful!! I love projects that are beneficial for our family! Such a good feeling! Thank you, God, for the work, the change, the benefit and family time. God is so good!!
It is difficult for me lately to be in the shallow end. I am feeling more myself, grieving my heavy emotional losses seems to be easing up enough for me to be myself again, though I still don’t laugh as freely as I once did and I cry at the drop of a hat now. But I am myself enough to think deeper. The shallow end, the light exterior detail stuff, rather bores me, there is no meaning or purpose there. What people look like, what I look like, what colors I am wearing, the size of someone’s hat or cool tattoos, all of it is not valuable to me anymore. I want to see their soul. I want them saved. I want to help them. The shallow end holds no joys or can hold none of my attention for long anymore. I want to live deep, be deep. I have always been incapable of small talk. I learned some during dad’s illness because I could communicate and entertain my detail oriented daddy that way. I learned and adapted. Now that he graduated to heaven and the sadness for not having him is being replaced by the happiness of him being with Jesus, I am tossing the shallow to the air in preference to the deep. I again long for the why. I deeply desire the journey as much as the destination. I long for the motivation and mission statement and relational news about the spiritual aspect of every person crossing my path. I want to know so I may help. I want to help save or encourage or uplift or lighten or heal or whatever I can do. It is how I particularly am cut. In ancient past, I believed it was because I was an aquarian, the humanitarian weird big picture healers of the world. Now I realize it was simply God’s design of me. And somehow, against all earthly odds, He blesses me and wants me to do what I was designed to do and worship Him. Amazingly, He loves me that much. Incredibly, He has forgiven my screw ups and has decided to keep me as His baby. Wow. And in actuality, God feels that way about you too. You and I are so very loved and I am so very thankful for that! 🙂