I Don’t Cry Anymore (except when empathizing)

Now, since my Daddy died two years ago, I have not.been able to help but cry if someone is crying- real life or on tv/movies. It is just a new thing now where I can empathize with people’s heartache. That is honestly new to me since these last two years. I felt the deepest pain of my life and I now feel other people’s pain. Even if I had felt it before I never cried. I can probably count on one hand how many times I cried growing up. Just not a crier before. So it is a new thing when I see other’s heartache.

Now, for me, I do not cry, not since I came out of the sobbing wet depression a year ago. After Daddy died, I cried for a year straight about and was depressed and really selfish. I know I had a family to look after and did so mechanically but wounded my children in the process and am still rebuilding that. But selfishly, I was stuck for a year in rich grief. Grief n is normal but letting it take over my life was selfish of me, in my case.

Since I snapped out of the depression with God’s help, I have worked hard on rebuilding (God’s specialty) and have only cried since then when I have seen someone cry, but not for me, just for them and their sake and pain, to help. I get it. I understand their pain. I lived it.

I believe sometimes for other people, you can help them more.by crying with them than any amount of advice or well wishes. But as far as we go, we focus on the wrong thing personally when crying. God comforts those who mourn but also rewards those who obey. Now hear me in love… Awfully hard to serve God and others when constantly thinking of what we lost. We do better at our eternal work when we are grateful for what we have left. Re-read that and you will be glad you did. Prayer and pleasing God in obedience is the option. πŸ˜„β€

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Answered Prayer

God yet again answered my prayers and thank you to those who prayed with me. All went well and with joy and peace with babysitting our grandbaby. I had asked for prayer because we had seen him only twice in his life and never for long, so we knew it would be quite a shock to him and adjustment for us. He is a very busy little man but we had happy moments and even an ever so brief nap. All is well and God remains constantly and perfectly good!❀❀❀

An Inch

My son grew an inch overnight. Seriously. And don’t get me started on his shoe size. I should have invested in Nike- shoes, cleats, ugh!

I realize my son is becoming a man. He sounds like a frog when he talks. I will only hear the voice I knew as my son’s from recordings I had taken. He pays attention to his appearance. He has girls interested in him. He is growing up.

But I am not sad that I am losing my little boy who I wanted my whole life since high school graduation. I am hopeful that I have a young man who will be and is a good man, a good friend, a good husband, a good father, a good American and most of all a good Christian. This was always my goal, not to keep him forever but to give him to God to become a man God loves and blesses. And after many conversations with my son, we are definitely headed the right direction. I am so thankful!!❀

Back to School

Well, I met most of my spring cleaning goals last week during spring break. Alsi, we got a lot of playing and visiting friends done. And I cleaned out my mom’s gutters, swept off the roof and weeded for her home. It felt great getting those things completed.

And now, back to crazy. It all begins again. Today we get back to school, PE, church, consults and baseball etc. Big days this month. Next month starts clearing up a bit and I am looking forward to that. No word on Steve’s daughter, so I guess she isn’t needing me to watch the baby after all for April and May like she had said, but maybe that will change, who knows but God?

So here we are at busy. At least we are going into it decluttered and cleaner. Somehow it feels better and lighter. Great stuff. God is good!!❀❀❀

Old Town Gig Tonight with Blue

We had a gig tonight and my son’s dad messed up our weekends again so Blue (our dog) had to come with us to the gig. The gig was 7pm-11pm in Kissimmee, so was a late night for all of us, especially when the kids and Blue are in bed by 9pm. So I had no idea how it would all work out. And Blue was great, and after much prayer that he would not try to eat any tiny dogs, he was fine all night. And he got a bunch of attention and love also… so glad we got him bathed before we went. A great night and I am thankful. God is good at helping with huge things and these little tiny details. Praise God!πŸ˜„β€

So Very Thankful

I am so very thankful for so many blessings in my life.

Some blessings at the time were disguised as curses. But God knew what He was doing.

Some of the biggest wounds of my life became the greatest blessings.

So many blessings were taken for granted and left unacknowledged and unnoticed.

Yet blessings they were and I look back on them and appreciate God’s consistent love.

He has remained the most faithful Person of my life and only true lover of my soul.

Better late than never at thanking God for everything…the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful.

All those things were there on purpose and made you the precious gift you are.

Such is the love of God. Thank you, God!!!β™₯