A Weekend to Forget

Tonight was thr visitation and rosary, tomorrow is the funeral mass, and in a few days after will be the graveside service. My brother in law was Catholic. That is how they do it. Tonight, at the open casket visitation, the shell was there but the soul and spirit were gone. I barely recognized him without his huge smile, making the somber shell of him appear many years older than the 77 year old he was. There was immense sadness for he was the eldest of 8 and by far the most accepting and happy. He welcomed everyone into the family and represented them well as far as hospitality goes. In fact, if you were a pretty woman, you were maybe too heartily welcomed? But I digress. Today, with 2 siblings unable to attend due to distance and health, the remaining 5 were here and all the families celebrated the life of and mourned the loss of Mike LaLonde. He and his wife were miraculously married for over 50 years and she will miss him greatly.

The rosary was said tonight and my upbringing was not Catholic, so I just listened. The repetition was mind numbing. Same words repeated over and over, same prayers. Did they think God did not hear the first time? Is my Savior hearing impaired? I wondered at this. Why pray to Mary? The Bible never says to do this. I do not understand, I guess, not having grown up in the Catholic faith.

I asked the wife how she was doing and she said, “I want to get through this and forget this weekend”. And I feel her. I understand. Just get through it. Forget. Try to live for the remaining family, for kids and grandkids. Just get through and forget and heal from the enormous rift in the physical and emotional self. Just breathe. Be. Forget. Forget every day for over 50 years coming home to that big smile. Vacations. Fishing trips. Illnesses and recoveries. Happy occasions. Family events. Forget all that? No, to celebrate all that by forgetting the goodbye. Forgetting the bad- for there always is bad. Letting that go and forgiving it. Releasing it. Forgetting on purpose.

Just a jumble of thoughts. Good to see family but good to forget why we saw them. Get to celebrating life. Many still to love here. Many to reach for Jesus. We need to get to that.❤

Just Be Ready

My husband’s oldest brother has been in the hospital but was getting better, was on the mend. He passed last night, however. And it was a reminder for the entire family to just be ready. Don’t put off repentence. Don’t put off humble prayer. Don’t put off worshipping God with your life. Don’t think you have more time to get your spiritual house in order for death sneaks up. Who knows if his pornography addiction was addressed by him before God. We do not know. God knows. I do pray it is so. Yes, he was a good man and took good care of his family but God wants to be first and only He knows the heart. He knows all our hearts intimately. Don’t gamble with eternity. The message for us all is to just be ready. When this frail life is gone, eternity remains and that is what this life is supposed to prepare for and determine. Just be ready.❤

Sobering Thought

Today my second cousin passed away. She was a mom of two, husband of one and was only 51 years old. She had beat breast cancer and had been in remission for 7 plus years. All of a sudden, she got sick and it was all over her body and in two weeks she was gone. She was absolutely beautiful with a happy, cheerful disposition. I had hoped to see her again but will have to wait a bit now. It is sobering when someone close to you and close to your age dies. It is not the first time. We are never promised tomorrow, some hypothetical construct. We have today. We must make the most of it with that eternal perspective. We need to be ready and close to Jesus. There is no fear close to Him and no insecurity either. Stay close to God and kiss and love your loved ones as often as possible. Live today. Love today.❤

So The Funeral is Tomorrow

My good friend buries her husband tomorrow. Her husband that had no life insurance because he was 47 and not expecting to die. She was not expecting it either. A 47 year old body just shuts down. Who would expect such a thing? And yet here we are. And tomorrow we will all cry together and let her know we support her and are here for her. And I will visit more often for she will be lonely and sad for a while. I have been where she is and will be able to be sad with her and make the most with her and hopefully that helps. The easier part of it is that he was a Christian so we know he is in heaven. ❤

When Death Comes Unexpectedly

To lose your husband unexpectedly has to be one of the hardest experiences of life. He was young, no more than 50. Not ill. Never had a sign of suffering or pain, just died overnight out of nowhere. Wake up next to a dead body instead of your husband. That is what happened this morning to my good, long time friend Susie. She had no idea that the “I love you. Sweet dreams” would have been the last time she said that ever. My heart throbs for her, tears flow. I am dropping my afternoon plans to be with her. I don’t know what to say but I know beyond all doubt that I need to keep her company and be there for and with her. So, I will cry with her, hold her, love her. And when things happen, changing your own plans is the Jesus thing to do. She has God’s peace but I need to be arms for her for Jesus.❤

The Sending of Flowers

So this morning, we ordered flowers to be sent to the funeral home for Grandpa’s funeral tomorrow. Money constraints do not allow us to go up for it so we sent flowers in our stead. There is something final in the sending of flowers but it is not without life for we sent the flowers in the form of a plant, which can live and be appreciated and enjoyed for years to come.there is something about cutting flowers that saddens my heart because they die, like another death. But a flower on a plant that has life and beauty continuing on is hopeful, pleasant, cheerful. And as Grandpa is in heaven now with my Daddy and Grandma (his wife) and his parents and siblings, there is life now. So in lieu of our life which could not attend, we sent the life of a flower. And that makes me as happy as I can be without being able to be there myself. We will miss you, Grandpa. We love you!

Losing Grandpa to Heaven

As hard as it was to lose my Daddy four months ago, now my Grandpa (Edwin Metzler) has left this world and gone off to Heaven to join my Daddy and precious Grandma there. He was my last living on earth grandparent. And growing up, he was a missionaries kid in Africa and later in life a missionary to Arfrica with his wife and 3 girls. And when they retired from ministry to work and take care of their girls in the states, Grandpa was a math teacher for high school until he retired and then Derry college. What I remember best of gim, besides his relentless puns and incredible bass singing voice was his presence. He was rather aloof but I knew he loved us not because he said it much but because he was there. He and Daddy helped me move countless times. When we had programs or recitals, he was there with my Grandma. For every birthday party and holiday, he was there and we ate and played games most of the day. I remember he was always with us camping too and loved to swim. He didn’t say a lot that was serious, rather avoided seripus if he could, but when he did or when he was asked about the Bible or the Lord, he would stun you with his understanding and insights. He lived to 87 years of age and passed into Heaven a few hours ago. I am not mushy with tears like I was with daddy, but have shed some tears, but I feel the loss for sure, but I know that Heaven is now.being inundated with jokes and beautiful bass singing now and Daddy probably put him to work immediately in the choir and that makes me smile. At least I have Heaven to look forward to and being with Jesus most and my family. Many are there now along with my daughter. Looking forward to seeing them again when Jesus comes back for us. In the meanwhile, I will spend tomorrow afternoon with my mom remembering Grandpa and appreciating his spectacular life and ministry and jokes and presence. Thank God I had him in my life up til now!