Tonight was thr visitation and rosary, tomorrow is the funeral mass, and in a few days after will be the graveside service. My brother in law was Catholic. That is how they do it. Tonight, at the open casket visitation, the shell was there but the soul and spirit were gone. I barely recognized him without his huge smile, making the somber shell of him appear many years older than the 77 year old he was. There was immense sadness for he was the eldest of 8 and by far the most accepting and happy. He welcomed everyone into the family and represented them well as far as hospitality goes. In fact, if you were a pretty woman, you were maybe too heartily welcomed? But I digress. Today, with 2 siblings unable to attend due to distance and health, the remaining 5 were here and all the families celebrated the life of and mourned the loss of Mike LaLonde. He and his wife were miraculously married for over 50 years and she will miss him greatly.
The rosary was said tonight and my upbringing was not Catholic, so I just listened. The repetition was mind numbing. Same words repeated over and over, same prayers. Did they think God did not hear the first time? Is my Savior hearing impaired? I wondered at this. Why pray to Mary? The Bible never says to do this. I do not understand, I guess, not having grown up in the Catholic faith.
I asked the wife how she was doing and she said, “I want to get through this and forget this weekend”. And I feel her. I understand. Just get through it. Forget. Try to live for the remaining family, for kids and grandkids. Just get through and forget and heal from the enormous rift in the physical and emotional self. Just breathe. Be. Forget. Forget every day for over 50 years coming home to that big smile. Vacations. Fishing trips. Illnesses and recoveries. Happy occasions. Family events. Forget all that? No, to celebrate all that by forgetting the goodbye. Forgetting the bad- for there always is bad. Letting that go and forgiving it. Releasing it. Forgetting on purpose.
Just a jumble of thoughts. Good to see family but good to forget why we saw them. Get to celebrating life. Many still to love here. Many to reach for Jesus. We need to get to that.❤