Pornography is not innocent fun. It hurts relationships and here is how, from a Christian wife’s perspective.
1. Trust is blown. The adulterer (person engaging in porn) has committed an adultery against his/her spouse. This has been done against the spouse’s back most of the time and been lied about. This tears down a trust wall pretty quickly.
2. It makes the spouse look bad/be easily disrespected because the spouse engaging in porn is viewed by the spouse as a self-control-less dog, some animal that can’t even control the sexual urges enough to keep sex between them only.
3. The spouse engaging in porn is dishonoring his/her spouse but the implied message that he/she is not enough to satisfy them, not airbrushed and misproportioned like those viewed, not unnatural enough, not good enough, not worth honoring with faithfulness.
4. The spouse engaging in porn develops a perverted and incorrect view of sex and becomes more and more difficult to make love (big difference) to their spouse. The plastic bimbos for hire are sex slaves and intimacy suffers enormously with the spouse who is not a sex slave but was designed to be so much more.
5. God is dishonored. This is the most important problem with porn. God is dishonored because you are saying by engaging in porn that what He says is irrelevant and unimportant and that disobedience and disrespect cannot help but separate you from a joyful prayer life and close relationship with God and if not repented from can cost you much more in eternity.
There are other reasons porn is sin and horrible for relationships, but these are the main ones I have found to be true and why couples should seek help if engaging in porn has become a habit (addiction illness) or if it has created a rift in the relationship. And God is only ever a humble prayer away to help also. ❤
So, a few good things happened today. I bleached then washed and scrubbed the windows and will re-caulk them once they have dried. Cracks have developed and one coat is not enough in Florida, folks. Also, we are insulating our electrical outlets that are on outside walls. We are insulating thr sliding patio doors and adding a new threshold to our front door and complete the replacement of our lights to LEDs. And whenever they get around to it, the installers will be here of a new solar turbo attic fan to reduce the power use and strain of the air conditioner to work. All these things are paying for themselves in no time at all and will complete our home to an energy efficient one. And that to me is the grace of God at work. He provides blessings to lift n our burdens- spiritual first and then that trickles down to financial and physical. And I want you to know that God provides what we need when we need it if we stay close to Him and stay humble. He truly rewards the pure in heart with the greatest rewards. I would be ok with heaven sometimes, an eternity with Him. But His grace and provision do not ever stop, know no bounds. He keeps loving, keeps giving, keeps blessing, keeps forgiving, keeps improving us. Wish everyone could see it, wish everyone could be filled with humility and draw close to Jesus and see it all. It is beautiful! Oh how I love Him.❤
There was a time I was seriously considering separation. It was because I was raw with depression from the death of my daddy and two close friends. And my husband was being terribly unkind to my son. I did not have the cognitive wherewithal to deal with this predicament and I almost separated for the sake of what was left of my sanity and my son’s mental and emotional health. And that was years ago but I had enough grace from God to stay and wisdom and energy as a gift from God enough to have some pretty heavy but gentle conversations. And I can tell you today, years later, that I am so very glad God intervened and we stuck it out. Now, my husband is good and even supportive of my son and my depression has subsided and we are a healthy family and team again. And I wanted to share this story with you so you know that prayer works and God heals and works in our lives out of love. And also wanted to remind you that God designed the family and supports His design and hates disunity and loves healing. So do not give up. Never give up. Pray and talk it out and work on it. There is always hope and healing. God is active in healing marriages, and all it takes is prayer and some humility. ❤
Why do we revisit the past in our minds we thought we long let go of?
Why do we want to do one thing and then fight ourselves about it?
I believe the answer is not simple and is simple. The simple part is a lack of focus on God. The less than simple part is it is easier for us to be in the physical than the spiritual. We wrestle the physical world while wrestling the spiritual one. We are constantly doing this and it is not always easy if we are tired or run down or not spiritually fit or praying. Our selfish peaks through. We see grass as greener elsewhere and find out it is a swamp in reality and damage is done. We give in to the enemy constantly bombarding us with attacks. We battle, battle, battle all the past and the present while trying to focus on the future with God. It is complex and ambitious. In fact, for me it is overwhelming sometimes, but I am learning to keep in the Word and pray and humble myself before the Lord and tell Him about it and ask for help. And when I do that, He gives me what I need for that moment. He loves me, you see, and is big enough to help. So, I guess all the complexity is me trying to do it all on my own and the simplicity is that God really can do it all and will help when I humbly ask Him to. Praise God!❤
Whatever God puts on your heart to do, that desire that is what occupies your thoughts and emotions and yearnings of the heart that is wholesome and positive and uplifting. Chances are God has given you that employment to do. So do it. Don’t look back. I know from experience that looking back binds you to the past and keels you from the present and thr present is what we are responsible for. The future is eternal rewards or punishments for decisions and deeds done in the present. Do what you do now. Pray, prepare and go. God will help if you humbly ask Him. Every single time.❤
I was able to be a supportive wife with my kids today at my husband’s gig at Old Town. Yet somehow my special kind of talent again allowed me to help set up and tear down as well as do the sound check as the lead female vocalist and pianist were late. So I worked during the gig and supported my husband and the band he was helping out. I always manage to be helping or filling in or something. I arrive and end up being a teacher or roadie or sound checker or boss or janitir, whatever the need is. That seems to be my talent. I guess that is either competent or a humble servant’s heart or just naive. In any case, God knows full well I work for Him and no one else. Those I help I see as helping Him. Someone asks me to help, I assume God just asked me to help. That is how I was brought up and how I am. And I guess my stubbornness and faith kick in and I do it whether or not I ever have, and God always blesses my efforts for Him. For instance, the band appreciated what I did and asked me to sing lead for them in another gig. So… cool. And God always blesses my support of my husband (even if he was really mean that day). It is funny. When I drop my pride and be supportive and do what I know I should do, God blesses and the I am treated better. Most of the time. But even if not, I am not working for a person, I work for God, you see. So this night was very fun and they were great and I am rewarded and happy and exhausted. Going to bed now. Sweet dreams, friend. ❤
Just because I tolerate a bad behavior does not mean I applaud it. Or does it? I have things I work on and so does he. If I let some things slide, am I admitting none of us are perfect and saying I love you anyway? Or am I condoning a sin that keeps him in bonage to it and thus being guilty of it as well? This moral dilemma, I believe, requires God’s wisdom and truth and God’s power and direction in order to know. Basically, I will do what I believe is best and listen all the while to the Holy Spirit to direct me to what God wants me to do. What else can any of us do? Only God knows how to save a person and only He can share what little we might be able to do to help. ❤