1. Be observant. Wait a minute before you offer anything and see what they really need. Don’t ask outright or you will get a want and not a need and that only lasts momentarily, but see for yourself what is needed. Often this involves prayer and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance. Remember: providing a want lasts for a day but filling a need is much deeper and longer lasting.
2. Don’t answer their need by filling your own. This is huge. My mom always used to tell me “Men always comfort with sex”. I am not sure about always, but it certainly is tried often. But when someone needs a hug and to share space and tears with someone, sex is really not what they want or need and is getting something for you out of it. Just an example but as a same sex help, if you give chocolate when they need company, you are treating them with what would benefit you and not what they need or want. In essence, either scenario above is a distraction and the problem remains. Remember: to help someone, you must consider their needs and not yours.
3. God is invaluable in helping anyone. To help anyone without praying with them is futile and shallow and unwise and plain ridiculous. As if you have unlimited strength to give them. As if you are all knowing to see into their soul and determine who they need to forgive. God is. God does. Call on His help before you help at all with them. They will how closer to God when He helps them. They will know that all good things come from God, our Savior and Healer. Remember: Do not forger God as Healer, Wisdom, Love and Truth.
4. Touch them. I don’t mean touch them inappropriately but we are Jesus’ hands and feet and people need hugs and reassuring touches. Some more than others, but everyone needs some level of the security and reassurance that comes with touches and hugs. Remember: We are Jesus’ hands and feet.
5. Put them first and just love. The people who comforted me most when Daddy died and my best friend died to me and another friend died all at the same time were the friends and family who had plenty of other things to do but took time out to just not say anything but be in the room with me. My cousin Nicky gave us a place to stay and just loved on us. That meant the world to me. My best friend texted with me support when her van would not allow her to come over. Another friend far away phoned me. Friends here came over. I was in no condition to talk but they coexistence with me and just let me know I was loved and not alone in the world. That is huge when you lose three from a very small circle of loved ones. Just that someone still exists who loves you. You don’t usually have to say a word. Just exist with them. That is healing in of itself. Remember: just be with them and love them.❤
To lose your husband unexpectedly has to be one of the hardest experiences of life. He was young, no more than 50. Not ill. Never had a sign of suffering or pain, just died overnight out of nowhere. Wake up next to a dead body instead of your husband. That is what happened this morning to my good, long time friend Susie. She had no idea that the “I love you. Sweet dreams” would have been the last time she said that ever. My heart throbs for her, tears flow. I am dropping my afternoon plans to be with her. I don’t know what to say but I know beyond all doubt that I need to keep her company and be there for and with her. So, I will cry with her, hold her, love her. And when things happen, changing your own plans is the Jesus thing to do. She has God’s peace but I need to be arms for her for Jesus.❤
So I am walking 5 days a week for 3.5-3.8 miles per day every early morning (so as to do so alone), and have done so for a few months now. Here is what I have noticed:
1. I sing better. My voice is stronger and better sounding and more precisely pitched. This is due to greater breath support.
2. I do not get sick. Everyone around me, in the house, whatever could be sick but I am not.
3. I feel better. Breathing is easier. Moving is easier. My clothes fit better.
4. I look good. Well, better, and keep having people tell me that.
5. I have more energy. I walk and then can dig ditches and clean trees and haul concrete and rock, transfer aggregate, whatever and still cook and clean and homeschool the kids and coach homeschool P.E. (yes, they roped me in again), clean mom’s place and walk her dog, and whatever else I have to do. I go all day. I sleep well, but that is a good thing.
6. I am less stressed. Life is stressful now. It just is. And walking helps a lot. I am nicer and ready for the day because I pray the whole time I walk, making sure to start the day right, alone with God in the world He made.
These are the main benefits. I would encourage you to try it and see how n it benefits you.❤
So our neighbors helped us rip out our imploded jasmine fence. The front, I took out yesterday and the long side would have taken Joe and I two days of hard labor and instead, we cut away between fence posts and Joe tied them off to our neighbor’s 4 wheel drive Suburban and she drove them panel by panel down to the pile in front. What a blessing!!! So now the sticks are all picked up and the jasmine is all in piles out front. Amazing. And soon (starting tomorrow), Joe and I will put up a fence. Steve can’t help because his knee blew out today, bless his heart, but thank God I can work. And my son has proven to be a good worker once we get past the protests lol. God is so good. I have two fewer walls of jasmine to trim!!!❤
Well, I have been working so hard on cleaning up and hauling away our yard and our neighbor’s and mom’s since Irma plowed through that I have not lived up to my visions of helping everyone I had before the storm. Everyone has power around me, thanks be to God and our good power company, so that sort of food help and air and water help is not needed. And everyone is pitching in so much that I can focus on cutting up and hauling away our dilapidated jasmine fence. Anyone wanting very, extremely very healthy jasmine roots, you are welcome to them, by the way. And tomorrow we will do the same. I am so impressed with our city and community and everyone chipping in and helping serve. It is incredible to see. In some towns you see the worst after a disaster, looting, destroying, making worse, but here I see caring, helping, serving, thriving. And this is hope for America to get back to that sort of unity. That is who we are made to be. That is a form of godliness. That is good, beautiful behavior. Love it! Praise God! ❤
Hurricane Irma did a wonderful thing for me. I should say that God did a wonderful thing through Hurricane Irma. He laid down the short front and long side jasmine walls. Now we get to put up a fence! Two walls front and back of jasmine gone! My nemesis is lessened and more time is freed up. And we will have a great fence for a dog. So exciting! So worked my tail off today cutting and removing the jasmine from the wire and it was really hard work but so good because I know eventually I will have much less maintenance work! Yay! I feel so blessed and thank God He strengthens me. More to go tomorrow, should be done by the end of the week and a new fence put in behind me. Yay!!!❤
We have a system, my mom and I, where she teaches piano lessons (something she has done for 40 years or more) and I clean her house in exchange. This gives me an excuse to clean for her (for she cannot do it herself anymore) while maintaining her strong independence and dignity. I could teach the kids myself but this works and gives the kids more time with their Grandma. Sometimes we have to be more creative with our helping but it is worth a little extra effort and creativity to allow her to feel useful and important and independent. This is so important when taking care of another human being, especially a parent you wish to show respect and honor to. ❤