Awareness

People speak if self-awareness. I see this as a piece of the puzzle, but a small one really. We are one of billions on this planet, weak, prone to sin, prone to be proud and self-centered. Should our goal really be to be more self-aware?? Seems comical. Ok, I am here. The best I can say is that I am made by God on purpose with love and I am saved by Jesus’ sacrifice and resurrection and God’s amazing grace. That is it. I can do what He has gifted me to do. I can make a difference with my tiny sphere of influence. We all can. It is the best awareness of self we can have.

What we need more of is not even awareness of the world around us. Though that is a loftier goal, caring for many and the big picture, it is still incomplete, depressing even, dark, horrible. There are more problems than we can count, very real dangers, ugliness, millions of other self- aware people not caring about anyone else, greed, rage, pride, pride, pride. So world- awareness is overwhelming (which is why self-awareness is the aspiration).

God- awareness is really the best goal. I am aware of God working, moving, being here. I see God’s hope and love in the midst of it all. I am aware of Jesus who gave His life and rose again for the world to have hope. He owns the hope for us all and is generous! Here should our awareness and focus of intention be. Jesus is our hope and everything we are or ever hope to be is His gift to us. Wow. That is magnificent.❤❤❤

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This Prevalent Selfishness

And why should we not be selfish creatures is the argument, right? We are, after all, the crowning achievement of creation and represent God’s glory and genius. We who think and reason and choose freely. Should we not honor ourselves? Are we not co-creators, precious to God? Yes. Yes, we are. However, we are still, in all our immeasurable importance and glory, still the created. I can be waited on, praised, idolized, deemed valuable to society at large and never be more than the created. No one ever will be but God. I repeat, we have one Creator God and we are not nor will ever be Him. Worship Him. He is the important One. Be who you were made to be. That is glorious enough.❤

Really Helping People

Helping people should never be about us. It is about the person we are helping. And much is missed if we go through an entire day only helping ourselves. Much. Helping people because it honors God who made them is vital to happiness and satisfaction in life. Selfishness only ever gets you the temporary, myopic thing you want. It is 2 or at best 3 directional. Selfishness cannot take you to to the fulfilling 4 dimensional spiritually dynamic joy that humbly helping other people can. That is special, different. That serves Jesus directly and nothing is more beautiful. Praise God! ❤  

Made to Feel

I used to get angry at myself for showing my feelings. It always seemed to be frowned upon. I was always a very emotional girl but no one would ever know it. I was led to believe crying is for babies and emotional outbursts were for the out of control and thus a crime. I stifled. I wondered why we had feelings if we could never express them. Then I thought maybe they were for marriage, to pour into your mate for life. And then I had no feelings left after a very short amount of time and did not know where to go from there. Upon remarrying, my husband quiets and limits my emotion and feelings also so again I am quelled. Why does God give us emotions if we have to stifle them all the time? There must be a reason because He never makes mistakes and I am not questioning Him, just me. Am I so different? Is this my biggest reason I am weird?  Even worshipping, people want quiet reverence when I want to scream and dance that my Savior lives and loves us and is coming soon!!! There seems a strange conundrum here. Perhaps it is because we are made for something more… some greater freedom. Maybe heaven will be loud and fun. Maybe we are given feelings to motivate us to act. Maybe evil screwed that all up too and we will be free when it is laid to rest soon. For whatever reason, I will continue to ride it out and try my very best to minimize my emotions and discount my feelings. I warn you, though, I am gaining ground with self-control (why one person that attacked my family is still unharmed and will remain so- I forgive her) but I am caring less and less what others think of my worshipping the Lord corporately. I care what God thinks. Everyone else, not so much anymore. I obey God, not them.❤

Chivalry is Nearly Dead

So, Steve replaced the battery contacts and charged the battery and I am running it to keep it up. Praise God!!! And thank you, Steve also. And I decided while I had to run around a bit to stop and put air in my tires, as they need it. And waiting in line, some jerk pulls in front of me to beat me to the air. In a monster truck. With a smolder on his jerk face. And his lights are on in my face. And the old me would have whipped his tail. Literally. But the closeness to Jesus has calmed me. So now I realize it is just that in the end times people are lovers of themselves. Only. And I feel sorry for the selfish guy and so many others missing out on the joy and happiness of chivalry and service. It may be nearly gone, but when Jesus returns, wow, I will not care then. ❤

Bettering vs Obeying

There is much celebrated emphasis on bettering yourself, self-love, self-awareness, all very self-centered. And while we are all very important, from the homeless beggar to the king on velvet, we are not the only person our lives should be about. I have felt lately that my greatest strength (and I am notably strong in many areas) is the decision to humbly obey and worship God. Humble obedience says the opposite of self-centeredness. It says I am not nearly as important as my Creator God and He deserves my respect and worship and the honor of humbly obeying His ideals for my life. He knows what is best for me and everyone and I trust Him completely. That humble obedience is stronger and more deeply fulfilling than a million people focusing on what greatness I may possess. The Creator is greater by a million times than the created. And that is true even though we are lovingly and purposely made and thus very important. Focus is the key. Knowing our God is phenomenally motivated. How beautiful He is is poured into His beautiful creation, seen all around us in soft landscapes, glorious sunsets and the beautiful souls of people of all ages, races, backgrounds, textures, passions, pursuits. The diversity of beauty He created should put God on the highest throne of the world, a place of high esteem and honor and of course love and respect. I serve an amazing, magnificent God. I am proud to be humble and obey and worship Him. That is worth the emphasis of my life. ❤❤❤

Narcissists Should Change

Among us Earthlings, we have really good people who love their maker God. We also have these selfish souls who have decided they are their own best gods and must have made themselves and made everyone else to exist for their benefit. These people are called narcissists. Narcissists take and never give, much like entitled parasites. They demand but never give. They insist upon their way, their praises, our worship and give back only more demands and enough of whatever we desire to get their way and hot one drop more. They shapeshift to keep from being found out, they lie and coerce and manipulate and require praise and worship in return. They appear perfect and make every effort to be charming and delightful and put up such a great front that everyone insists this is an amazing person. The perception of them changes as soon as they reveal their true colors and cold heart and have drained their forced worshipers of their life and energy and moved on to greener pastures, better, younger, higher energy, undamaged, strong so they can eat well and feed their egos anew. And until these people humble themselves before God and acknowledge Him as the One who should be worshipped (until they are forced to their knees on judgment day and it is too late), they will only be as temporarily happy ad their next conquest and will never know truth and God’s peace and lasting joy. They will continue to terrorize and bully and play these immature games until they draw their last breath. Narcissists need to change. For their sake and the sake of all of society. Our beautiful world is more and more polluted by these creatures and good people are unapologetically hurt every day. If change is not executed and true change only Jesus can bring, these folks will be required to continue being their own God into eternity and be separated from the real powerful God of the universe. And I don’t wish that on anyone.