In an ever increasingly complex and ever decreasingly user friendly world we live in, seemingly quite tense and hostile and quite literally playing out wars between good and evil, we need to breathe in some simplicity. We need a mental break. We need to go to a good church. We need to read God’s Bible. We need to pray. And we need to put on some I Love Lucy reruns and just laugh. We need park time, movie time, hiking time, ice cream rime, sitting on a porch swing time, baking and eating time, beach time, sunset watching, whatever give you enjoyment and simple joys. These are the positive tings we need to balance the weight of the world pushing in on us all the time. It is important. Schedule it in. Demand a break for yourself and those around you who feel your inner tension. Exploding onto them too. Be a humanitarian, for heaven’s sake (lol) and enjoy some simple joy therapy. Laugh. Relax. God is still very much in control and we need to be ready for Him. 🙂
This past year broke me. Broke my heart, my mind, my soul, my spirit. I was heaped upon with horrible things and broke. Of course God has healed me stronger as I have bowed my brokenness to Him and asked Him to heal me. And another blow, my Grandpa died and a good friend I just lost forever, their choice. So, broken again in need of more fixing and healing by God. And as He does His great work, I am low and humbled and cry out to God. And about to play the piano to lead worship, I told God I was not equipped but I’d do it and needed His help. So, He used me as a broken tool and by the time worship was over, my brokenness had mended and God had played through my hands better than I can play on my own. I am humbled. I am better as a broken tool for God to use. Broken is beautiful!
I have been on Facebook for years, sometimes actively and sometimes scarcely. Now, I am deleting my accounts. The reason is private but I will tell you that part of it is a focus on family time and part of it is our security. Twitter is fairly safe so I will conti n ue on Twitter. However, more and more eyes and hackers are on Facebook than ever before and this world is less and less interested in the morality. So to be on the safe side and have fewer distractions for my kids and family and bands, I am deleting my Facebook account and focusing on family. All may contact me on my cell or on Twitter and I will continue my blog here, but Facebook will no longer be part of the mix. I hope you all understand. I will miss the encouragement and pictures and laughs most and definitely the interaction with those I love as well as that tolerate me. Keep my n umber and call or text anytime. I love you all dearly. May God bless you and your families!! 🙂 ❤
Just saw a very good and beloved friend from my past. It amazes me when I meet up again with someone who was the purpose for a serious lesson learned long ago and you realize that God takes you exactly where you need to go in life. The way of the broken for the moment is to see the broken as the new you, see yourself as changed, different, lacking now because of some circumstances that disturbed you. And here is God the whole time saying that your broken has never looked more beautiful for there are new cracks that he can fill with gold and diamond inlays. He mends our broken with valuable and beautiful bedazzle. And you end up different yes, but in such a good way as to be strong get and more beautiful and wiser and more mature and now so E sort of walking testimonials y of God’s beauty that can only shine gloriously out of broken. I walk the way of the broken and I am incredible. I know more at 42 than most people die knowing and not because I am great but because I have been broken so many times and allowed God to mend me. He does the work, see. We break and let Him do His thing and He will recreate and fill that with such beauty. I saw this amazing art show one time that portrayed some of the oldest, messiest people you can imagine and captured their eyes. Baby, those eyes moved my soul. God fixes broken so perfectly that He pours right out of His work. I am proud to walk the way of the broken because I know how God works. I absolutely shine.
A lot has happened in my mind since Daddy moved to Heaven. My ex refused to bring back my son so I had to rescue him tonight. I spent time talking to mom about dad and plans and arrangements. My husband had a birthday today. I played piano for worship at church this morning and God provided strength through tears. I am preparing for my daughter’s sixth birthday party tomorrow. And I took my Facebook and Twitter links off my phone. I am feeling regret at being an extrovert because everything is sorted out in my mind out loud and I am not thinking clearly so have alienated some people and I am so sorry about that. I have lost three loved people recently, and with ex’s drama, I am quite certain there is not much more I want to handle. I want to become an introvert but too much time alone make me crazy, though some recharges me. So I am talking to Zach (nearly 11 now) and he gives me profound insight and wisdom. I asked where he got it and he said from me and God. Amazed, let me share his thoughts. He said that we all have a little door on our hearts and we decide how thick the door is and how big the lock is. You open up your lock and door to few people but those people left so now you want to change the door into a wall to protect yourself from more pain. He said I would not be happy if I did make walls because God made me love people. He said to pick one or two close trusted friends and open the door a little and then close it. I do not know what I did right with this boy, but I am so grateful to God for him. And I will be gradually taking his advice because he is right. There is much wisdom and depth there. So please be understanding and gentle with me. I am in harm’s way and must retract a bit to survive and will be back soon. Love you.
I believe being broken is the new trend. Am I making light of brokenness? Only if I can. Because we who follow God and love salvation through His Son, brokenness is supposed to sort of be our thing so His magnificence can radiate through those cracks in our shells and bring light to the world He made. He is God. We are not. So I am honored to be broken because I may have some pain to work out but I have these proud moments where I see Him bursting out through me and shining brightly. And everyone hurts, whether they are God’s kids or trying not to be, but I have this hope that mine is for a reason and I am starting to see it. And the greater the damage, the greater His glue fills in so much better and more of Him can fit. So being broken has been a great blessing and my strength is even greater because it is mingled and I fused with His strength and nothing I can even think of is stronger than Him. So be so joyful if you are broken right now like I am because Wow does His medicine and glue after it has set feel brilliant and peaceful and joyful! There is nothing better in the world than God who heals!!!!!
I have forced some just me time lately, not time being mommy or wife or friend or musician but just me. I determined that I needed that, going through some things lately in life, lots of loss and missing people and family back home and bff hurting and daddy declining in health, so many things. I don’t think alone time is selfish or greedy and can pretty much in my case keep me sane and better in every way. So I took some, insisted even. I found out some very interesting things. Turns out, when I spend time alone, I always impecibly end up spending time with God. The s out He loves me despite me being me and I felt that. Second thing is that I really like me. I know that seems odd but when so much goes on, it is easy to get unsure, I secure, feel really ugly and discarded, feel really really alone, and it was an amazing and refreshing energy that rebuilt my heart and I realized that the me that God made is still there shining. I am still there under it all. Not the me people see, so perfectly crazy (OK, so I added the perfectly part) and strong in consistency while sweet. I don’t mean that. I mean the inner core, the fighter, the artist, the leader, the thinker and inventor, the mechanic, the doctor and healer and scientist, the lover of people. I am still there. I am not less for my wear but deeper. I am stronger with experience a d not damaged from it. And I thought how very thankful I am that God allows me growth because so many count on me. If I always had great things happen, I could never ever achieve this depth. God seriously loves me and this is why He allows badness in my life and I follow like a little rabbit down a hole. He allows it not because He is mean but because He loves me so very much. He knows I respect and learn from that which breaks me. The strong willed, and no one is more so, require God’s intervention to tame and break and develop. You break a horse to make that horse fit for service and useful. Evidently I am the horse in my Analogy. Lol Should have thought that one through a little. Ha! Needless to say, friends of mine, if I am teetering on crazy, please send me away to be alone. It is far better therapy for me than anything else on the planet. Praise God He showed me that!! He is so good!!