I live in a home where we walk on eggshells. We are scrutinized, criticized, accused, critiqued and unless we do what is expected or approved of ahead of time, we could be shamed and put down or at the least washed in angry sarcasm by my husband. No one in the family can breathe freely. Me either most of the time. And this weighs on me. It is abusive. It hurts. It is not comfortable. And I stay. Why? Because I am married and will stay. Marriage is not a walk in the park, especially when one believes they are the only smart or worthy one in the family. This is excrutiating at times, especially with the kids, specifically my son who gets the brunt of it. Why tell this? Because it seems like now when people encounter opposition in marriage, they don’t stay, they leave. It is what I did before. And I drug my son through a divorce that broke his heart. I will never do that to a child again. And I pray and trust God. My relationship with the Lord has deepened and I love Him deeper than I ever have because I rely on Him alone. I rely on God for comfort, for assurance, for the hope of heaven, for gentleness, for love. And I am teaching my kids to rely on God too. And it is working, they are. That is an amazing gift to give, the most important ever. So there are always reasons to stay and pray and work through it and do the best you can. And there is much good also, just the negative is on my mind because I was just yelled at. But the good also exists, he pays the bills, is bettering the house, does teach the kids also, plays great guitar, takes us out to eat, etc. So I am also demonstrating how to find and remember the good, even when the bad is obvious. The truth is bad and good are never exclusive. One always is present with the other because God is everywhere and the devil/evil lives on earth. So you can focus on the badness or the goodness. And I choose to focus on the goodness. I have to, Jesus commanded it. So it is good. Life is what you make of it. So is marriage. ❤
So, the concrete for the sidewalk was ordered to arrive tomorrow and my husband and Joe (our handyman) and I were going to mix it and pour it in this heat, and it would have been an all day killer workout but horrible. And honestly, would have probably immobilized my husband (who has bad knees) for a few days. So, this was the anticipation. This morning, the neighbors (fixing their house up to sell it) had a little concrete work done around their pool. So, one conversation later, they are happy for the qork and have all the tools and can pour it today!!! So it is done now!!!! Praise God for providing!!! He is truly great and worthy of praise!!! One more major thing checked off the list and on to roofing and screening in the back porch!!! Woo hoo!!!! God is so good! God always provides!!! ❤❤❤
When you are taking care of someone you love or otherwise, please remember that the person is ill. That seems simple enough but mentally if you have a weakness in there, you will tend to take things personally. An ill person is usually plagued by some level of pride which makes them angry and frustrated that they need help. Also, they may have some mental issues which make lashing out verbally common at times. Truth is, they don’t realize they are doing it. Sometimes they are really echos of harshness they encountered or experienced previously, many moons ago. Be respectful. If nothing else, smile and wave. The second thing to always keep in mind is that it is usually a thankless job. You are working for the Lord and not for man. It is the Lord you serve. Your reward comes later. Now is the work. I always bear this in mind. I work for God not man. It is easier to work for God, He give you renewed strength. You can easily burn out if you do not understand this truth. God provides strength, no one else. No one else is bigger than the strain, larger than the problem, peaceful beyond measure. God is it. Renew from Him. So review: 1. Remember the person is I’ll and do not take things personally and 2. You are working for God and not man and your reward comes later, work now. God is the source n of strength. Now smile, child of God, and take a hot Epsom salt bubble bath and listen to some Bible verses for a boost. You are invaluable! ❤
I wanted to pause from my quilting and just praise God from my heart for all the joys He has placed in my life. There are way too many to mention, but I need to give Him props and thank Him for a few that stand out. All my life I wanted to be a doctor (well since I was 9), and He fulfilled that passion for me. And as a professional woman, I wondered if I would be too old to have my own kids or adopt (both are beautiful and either would have sufficed) and He answered by allowing me to carry two beautiful babies. One I look forward to seeing in heaven, she would be 22 years old, maybe with children of her own by now, who knows but she will be my Heavenly blessing, as well as my twin brother and family up there already. Therefore, Heaven to be assured of and look forward to is a great blessing! The love of my life is a major blessing. I never thought I could love anyone so deeply and fully and know so well and click with so intrinsically. I didn’t think before meeting him that soulmates was a real thing. He has blessed my life. Of course also hurt me, so every good thing has its down side. I am blessed by growing up on a farm with a Christian family who took us to the best church. Oh how I loved that farm! Only another farmer can truly get that but the hard work was replete with rewards of bird in song, glimpses of foxes at play, skies that changed all the time, deer accepting you as a friend, dogs running with you in the field, the feel of dirt and long grasses, better than any bed, swinging on ropes to the rafters in the barn off straw bales, riding on the tractors or combine with Daddy, the smell of fresh air and taste of fresh vegetables. The list goes on. My spirit was the most free there outside on the farm. Mmmm. Let me just take that one in a minute. I have been blessed being able to homeschool our kids and have a husband supportive of that. What a difference it makes to spend time with your kids!!! I am blessed each time I sit down at the piano and can play anything I want to or write original songs. (My fantasy, ideal cabin has a piano, by the way. Lol) I am also blessed to do art, see art, teach art, just express myself, write, everything that shares passions and ideas with another person is beautiful. Anyway, I could go on all night, but this partial list is what God chooses to flood my heart with joy and peace and love and calm. Some blessings are worth thinking of and revisiting for better perspective and appreciation of life and God, and some are worth waiting for. ❤
My daughter is getting close to 7 years old. And she has a new stalling technique for bedtime. She has suddenly become a philosopher, with a million new insights and contemplations and questions just after bedtime prayers and after lights out. Then bam! She is searching then for all of life’s trying questions, such as “Momma, have you always wanted to swing with Lamby?” Or “I can text Jesus on my phone” or “What is Heaven like?” Or “Momma, I feel strongly that we should go to the park tomorrow.” It is always interesting and at the same moment annoying for I need to recover from our busy, b us day. I tell her “We will talk about that tomorrow and now you can discuss it with God until you fall asleep.” Ah, the adventure of childbirth. At the time, you have an idea the worst is over. And in a way, that is really hard but the adventure just begins there and keeps going forever. It really is a beautiful adventure to be a mom. That is true whether you birth your own or adopt someone else’s who can’t care for them. Both are beautiful! Life is beautiful! God was good to think of it. What a richness my kids have brought to my life.