Parental Mis-Perceptions

Hello. I am Coach Tonya now for our homeschool PE class. I coach 2nd and 3rd graders. They needed coaches and I had done it before, two years ago and loved it so volunteered. And I have already witnessed several mis-perceptions of parents. One was my own. I thought my daughter would not do well in sports because she prefers dolls and pretty pink things, and I was quite wrong. She is great and having and great time! Happy to be wrong. Another happened today when a parent dropped off the child and declared to the class that he was “shy”, to which he responded by acting shy (synonym of “fearful” to me in this context). The minute she was gone, I proceed treating him as if he was a bold leader (I am that way lol), and he was a great leader of the class and excelled and was outgoing. You see, people, and children much more quickly and easily, will rise to the level of the expectations of the leader/coach/parent. They will also fall to them. So always expect and declare good, positive things of your children or students. They will rise to them. Don’t carry your own limitations to them with your negative words or expectations. They are trying to learn and please and you must present positive values and expectations and words for them to aspire to. And they will. It is beautiful and exactly the way God wants and designed it to be. ❤

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Being Accidentally Wrong vs Being Intentionally Wrong

There is a huge difference between being intentionally wrong and being accidentally wrong. It is truly a huge difference but sometimes the result is the same. For instance, my husband attacks me for both. He treats them exactly the same. In fact, he will stack them up with other past wrongs. There is no white out or eraser. And I am feeling miserable right now because, human that I am, I screwed up yet again and made an accidental mistake (which I am quite sorry for and humbled at having made) and am in the doghouse. I am made to feel like a criminal, foolish, stupid, disposable almost. Every mistake bears the a came fruit. Criticism at imperfection is always awaiting me. I can do little right, it seems. And I have this one joy in the midst of such blatant disregard for my apologetic and humbled disposition. God is generous with forgiveness. I have a heavenly Father who holds my often clumsy and awkward outgoing nature in His hands and forgives me of my flaws. He understands them. God loves me more than judges me. God cares for me and my well being more than He wants to prove I am flawed and in need of Him. He wants to give me joy not steal it, give me peace not damage it, love me not wound me. I have this amazing Heavenly Father God who loves me awkwardness I am and motivates me by love to want to be better. God is not critically picking apart every wrong move or word but is gently guiding me to the write moves and words. It is a comforting reminder that I am unconditionally loved. You know what, so are you. Thank God! ❤

How to Help Anyone

1. Be observant. Wait a minute before you offer anything and see what they really need. Don’t ask outright or you will get a want and not a need and that only lasts momentarily, but see for yourself what is needed. Often this involves prayer and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance. Remember: providing a want lasts for a day but filling a need is much deeper and longer lasting.

2. Don’t answer their need by filling your own. This is huge. My mom always used to tell me “Men always comfort with sex”. I am not sure about always, but it certainly is tried often. But when someone needs a hug and to share space and tears with someone, sex is really not what they want or need and is getting something for you out of it. Just an example but as a same sex help, if you give chocolate when they need company, you are treating them with what would benefit you and not what they need or want. In essence, either scenario above is a distraction and the problem remains. Remember: to help someone, you must consider their needs and not yours.

3. God is invaluable in helping anyone. To help anyone without praying with them is futile and shallow and unwise and plain ridiculous. As if you have unlimited strength to give them. As if you are all knowing to see into their soul and determine who they need to forgive. God is. God does. Call on His help before you help at all with them. They will how closer to God when He helps them. They will know that all good things come from God, our Savior and Healer. Remember: Do not forger God as Healer, Wisdom, Love and Truth.

4. Touch them. I don’t mean touch them inappropriately but we are Jesus’ hands and feet and people need hugs and reassuring touches. Some more than others, but everyone needs some level of the security and reassurance that comes with touches and hugs. Remember: We are Jesus’ hands and feet.

5. Put them first and just love. The people who comforted me most when Daddy died and my best friend died to me and another friend died all at the same time were the friends and family who had plenty of other things to do but took time out to just not say anything but be in the room with me. My cousin Nicky gave us a place to stay and just loved on us. That meant the world to me. My best friend texted with me support when her van would not allow her to come over. Another friend far away phoned me. Friends here came over. I was in no condition to talk but they coexistence with me and just let me know I was loved and not alone in the world. That is huge when you lose three from a very small circle of loved ones. Just that someone still exists who loves you. You don’t usually have to say a word. Just exist with them. That is healing in of itself. Remember: just be with them and love them.❤

Love Casts Away Fear

God’s love casts away fear. “Do not fear” is written all over the Bible. Commands not to fear are in number 365, so one for every day of the year. That is no accident. There are no accidents or coincidences. Do not fear. God is in control. God loves us. His love cancels fear. God says trust me. Do not fear, trust God. ❤❤❤

Send Me A Postcard From Wherever It Is You’ve Gone

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So, in my past was this experience also and she captured it. The loss, the confusion, the senselessness of it, the realization that you finally found your soulmate and turns out he’s an idiot. All that wrapped up in a short poem. That is skill. And here is the rest of the story. God heals. God fulfills. God saves us from stupidity, ours and other’s. God loves deeper than the deepest human love. And time does not erase some deep wounds like this but time with God allows His amazing love to come in more and more until that wound you still have if you focus on it or in odd moments every day for the rest of your life becomes less painful, less significant. More of a bad thing that happened i stead of the worst thing I am going through now. God heals and restores. He makes better than new. And the humbling is a blessing because you have a shorter distance to bow from. God is the solution. Doesn’t matter the problem or hurt.❤❤❤

The Love of God

God loves us so much that it permeates every living thing around us. His love flows into us and then radiates back out. It is such a beautiful experience. To be so full and complete with love when there is imperfection without Him. Without this love, there are holes. Some huge holes of missing loved ones. Some small holes of disappointments. Some medium holes of hurts and lost dreams. All these are filled in and over filled by God’s deep and perfect and unconditional love for us as soon as we go to Him humbly and ask Him. That is it. Such a simple and easy thing to do. Turns out many people are too big, too full of themselves, too proud to bow their hearts to ask. So set to do it their way. So foolish to believe they can live peacefully without their Creator. As if anyone can. But those of us little enough to bow, we reap the full blessing of perfect love filling us up. God is love and we are made by Him on purpose because He wanted us. We are important because He said we are. It is so simple. God is everything of importance and He loves us with a love so big it is hard to contain. We all long for that until we find it from Him. There is no other source, no other way. Jesus Christ saves and God pours His love to us through the Holy Spirit. It is that simple. It is that profound. It is that beautiful.❤