Hope for Families via Change

There was a time I was seriously considering separation. It was because I was raw with depression from the death of my daddy and two close friends. And my husband was being terribly unkind to my son. I did not have the cognitive wherewithal to deal with this predicament and I almost separated for the sake of what was left of my sanity and my son’s mental and emotional health. And that was years ago but I had enough grace from God to stay and wisdom and energy as a gift from God enough to have some pretty heavy but gentle conversations. And I can tell you today, years later, that I am so very glad God intervened and we stuck it out. Now, my husband is good and even supportive of my son and my depression has subsided and we are a healthy family and team again. And I wanted to share this story with you so you know that prayer works and God heals and works in our lives out of love. And also wanted to remind you that God designed the family and supports His design and hates disunity and loves healing. So do not give up. Never give up. Pray and talk it out and work on it. There is always hope and healing. God is active in healing marriages, and all it takes is prayer and some humility. ❀

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Not Running

Much recent contemplations and reading and closeness with Jesus and His lead and persuasion in my life has gotten me to a point of change and acceptance. Some very profound and inspiring and educationally wise truth has now been accepted by my brain. Took 44 years to get here (I used to believe I was fast and smart Lol.) Some people get this lesson intrinsically or easily or much faster, but we all have our own strengths and weaknesses and I firmly believe this one is harder to overcome when well-modelled and very wounded. Well, here is this truth… I am responsible for every word, decision, action and lack thereof I have ever made. I am responsible for me. Not only that, but as a wife, I am responsible to be a good wife (whether it is reciprocated or not); as a parent, I am responsible for being a good parent and teaching my children to be godly, useful and moral adults and parents; as a doctor, I am responsible for my patient’s care; as a Christian, I am responsible to represent Jesus to the world; and so on. And we all are responsible for ourselves and our roles we serve. That is how it is. As soon as we assign blame for inadequacies, even if legitimate, we devalue our growth and development and miss out on our full capacity. How freeing is this truth! How powerful it is for I own it. And sobering. Because of course, I/we need God’s help in all of it, so bonus that we draw closer to Him in the process! I just wanted to share that. ❀

Time for Loving

It sure seems like I just finished a healing journey, where I was bound in some way by lies, emotional wounds, grief, anger, mental pain, so many distractions and things and my own pride and desires had kept me not quite healed up. And today I woke up a little less groggy than usual (not being a morning person) and realized I am completely free, completely healed. I am healed by God. I thought I had been but healing my body was the final healing. I had give God every part of me to heal, forgive, be in charge of, and love. Except my body. I had kept that for myself. Now I have obeyed with my body also and put it under God’s will and God is everything now. This is beautiful! This is true freedom and true peace and joy. It is a place of truth and closeness to Jesus. I am so happy and much more than that, I have peace. My mind is calm, and those who know me get the significance of that. It frees me to love. I am not constantly rolling, I can chill with clarity and peace. My joy is back. One piece of the puzzle can matter so much! Give Him every aspect of you for health and healing and He will bless you beautifully!!πŸ˜„β€

Transformation

Our rose bush and periwinkles were at death’s door. I heard a gardener speak of Epsom salt, so I added about a cup to each dying, spindly plant, along with coffee grounds, ground up egg shells and 10-10-6 fertilizer. And here is about 2 weeks later. From one rose and one flower at the end of long legs we get this. And this is proof that grass grows greener where it is cared for. Never give up. And I of course mean this for every aspect of life and not just plants. They are nice and beautiful but so can be your relationships, your walk with God, your music, your work, your hobbies, whatever. Do your best and allow time to do the rest. Do not give up ever!❀

Starting to Remember

Many years of my life are hard for me to remember. I believe the psychologists of the day (yes, I had to study psychology while working toward my doctorate in the science of audiology) would say that I repressed or blocked memories too difficult to remember during times of extreme stress. And stress, I am afraid, has been a constant companion of mine much of my life. It is a wonder I am alive really, seeing how they are blaming stress for every illness known to man. Anywho, as God has healed my deep depression relatively recently, He is bringing back the memories I had forgotten in order for me to know the truth and forgive to free me. This process is surprising and beautiful. He reminds me of this good memory or this hurtful one to forgive or this one of me bad I have to ask forgiveness for, etc. And He is bringing them to me in bits I can handle calmly and remaining in peace and joy. And He is through this process drawing me closer to His presence. It is peaceful, joyful, beautiful, even the bad stuff. I am not bragging, I am observing and showing you what can happen if you pray all the time, fast, throw away all social media and addictions/distractions, and read your Bible. Draw close to God and really humbly pull toward Him and He rewards you with what you want… closeness to Him. And it is making me incredibly homesick for my best friend, friends and family. But I know God will comfort me until I can see them. Oh how I love and trust Him. Not really anyone else, but Jesus is my blessed Champion and Lord and oh how I love Him!❀

Healing from Illness

I was very ill. No one knew for doctors know enough to cover up illness in themselves. But it had headed to a point of showing up. So I humbly and quite desperately prayed. God directed me to a certain avenue of treatment. I obeyed. It was successful. And I realized that God heals in a myriad of ways but never without humble prayer first and faith that you prove. But He certainly heals. I give Him glory and honor and tell you God healed this doctor. He is the Great Physician. He is perfect! ❀

Moving On & All Healed Up

Today, I saw an old friend about to play basketball this afternoon at Duff park as we passed to get to the batting cages for my kids to practice. This old friend had hurt me deeply, an offense that separated our friendship. And I had required a great deal of healing from God. Today, seeing this old friend reminded me of God’s complete healing and power because I felt nothing but a need to pray for them. And that was it. No rehashing, no bad feelings, all fully forgive and healed. Only God can do that, friend. ❀ 😍