1. Be observant. Wait a minute before you offer anything and see what they really need. Don’t ask outright or you will get a want and not a need and that only lasts momentarily, but see for yourself what is needed. Often this involves prayer and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance. Remember: providing a want lasts for a day but filling a need is much deeper and longer lasting.
2. Don’t answer their need by filling your own. This is huge. My mom always used to tell me “Men always comfort with sex”. I am not sure about always, but it certainly is tried often. But when someone needs a hug and to share space and tears with someone, sex is really not what they want or need and is getting something for you out of it. Just an example but as a same sex help, if you give chocolate when they need company, you are treating them with what would benefit you and not what they need or want. In essence, either scenario above is a distraction and the problem remains. Remember: to help someone, you must consider their needs and not yours.
3. God is invaluable in helping anyone. To help anyone without praying with them is futile and shallow and unwise and plain ridiculous. As if you have unlimited strength to give them. As if you are all knowing to see into their soul and determine who they need to forgive. God is. God does. Call on His help before you help at all with them. They will how closer to God when He helps them. They will know that all good things come from God, our Savior and Healer. Remember: Do not forger God as Healer, Wisdom, Love and Truth.
4. Touch them. I don’t mean touch them inappropriately but we are Jesus’ hands and feet and people need hugs and reassuring touches. Some more than others, but everyone needs some level of the security and reassurance that comes with touches and hugs. Remember: We are Jesus’ hands and feet.
5. Put them first and just love. The people who comforted me most when Daddy died and my best friend died to me and another friend died all at the same time were the friends and family who had plenty of other things to do but took time out to just not say anything but be in the room with me. My cousin Nicky gave us a place to stay and just loved on us. That meant the world to me. My best friend texted with me support when her van would not allow her to come over. Another friend far away phoned me. Friends here came over. I was in no condition to talk but they coexistence with me and just let me know I was loved and not alone in the world. That is huge when you lose three from a very small circle of loved ones. Just that someone still exists who loves you. You don’t usually have to say a word. Just exist with them. That is healing in of itself. Remember: just be with them and love them.❤
So I am walking 5 days a week for 3.5-3.8 miles per day every early morning (so as to do so alone), and have done so for a few months now. Here is what I have noticed:
1. I sing better. My voice is stronger and better sounding and more precisely pitched. This is due to greater breath support.
2. I do not get sick. Everyone around me, in the house, whatever could be sick but I am not.
3. I feel better. Breathing is easier. Moving is easier. My clothes fit better.
4. I look good. Well, better, and keep having people tell me that.
5. I have more energy. I walk and then can dig ditches and clean trees and haul concrete and rock, transfer aggregate, whatever and still cook and clean and homeschool the kids and coach homeschool P.E. (yes, they roped me in again), clean mom’s place and walk her dog, and whatever else I have to do. I go all day. I sleep well, but that is a good thing.
6. I am less stressed. Life is stressful now. It just is. And walking helps a lot. I am nicer and ready for the day because I pray the whole time I walk, making sure to start the day right, alone with God in the world He made.
These are the main benefits. I would encourage you to try it and see how n it benefits you.❤
People focus on numbers, and they only tell a part of the story. For instance, the scale is telling me the same number from three months ago but I am wearing a smaller dress size and people are telling me how I look skinny and good and healthy. Same number on the scale, just toned and muscular and healthier with much more energy. It does not feel anything like the same number. Age is another example. I have two friends that are around 55. One could pass for their mid thirties and one looks as though he would be retired by now. Genetics plays a roll, job stress, marital stress, financial stress all plays a roll (basically faith levels versus worry/stress levels. Also job driving versus hard construction makes ar difference. Same number. So don’t get locked into numbers, they only tell ar part of the story. Focus much more on obedience to God because He rewards that with health and vitality. It makes much more sense to do that. ❤
I have been moving toward health and increased energy. Today, I am quite content that I am going the right direction. This morning I walked 3 miles then woke my son and walked with him 1 more mile. So, 4 miles this morning at a rapid clip. This was fabulous. Then we had a 2 hour band practice and that all went well. So, my energy level is definitely improved, which is what I wanted. So, I am thanking God for it and celebrating His strengthening me as I work for Him. Praise God!!!❤❤❤
My body has longed for things and people I should never have longed for. And that is a shallow, emotional matter which requires the help of God via self-control. I am not speaking of that otherwise. I wish to speak of the deep longings of the soul, the spirit. Most churches/pastors/society denies our depths in favor of the easier and more palatable surface/body/shallow/physical issues. Easier, lazier to deal with. Obvious. A moron speaks of such things without ever going deeper. The deeper longings of our soul and spirit are where our shallow stuff comes from. It is the why we do what we do. If we auchddress the behavior but never they why, there is a huge chasm in relatability and practicality and intelligence there. We have to go deeper to grow in spiritual maturity and deeper relationship with Christ. It just has to happen. So we have to ask ourselves heavier questions? “Why was that a temptation?”, “What made that desirable?”, “Why does that bother/anger/trigger me?”, “What do I need that I am not getting?” are all questions to start digging with. Sometimes we get stuck on anger comfortable, familiar lie that got stuck in there and replayed so long we take it as truth and it is tripping us up. For example, every guy I dated told me I was fat and criticized my appearance. So I took that as fact. I was unlovable because I was fat. Every guy. But I started digging. Why does it bother me what guys think? What do I need? And it turns out I have a deep desire and longing to be loved and accepted as I am, secure in love. And I was drawn to men who were critical because I was raised with criticism and that was a comfortable lie that I had nothing but flaws. The thing is, once I realized where I screwed up, I could correct it and if guys started criticizing, bye bye. I adndccepted not going to be comfortable around lies again. And further, I repented of that sin and sought out God to be.my loving security and His perfect love is the only kind that loves me as I am. See, God is Who I needed the entire time. ❤❤❤
Today, I missed him again. It didn’t cripple me this time but brought about a strong desire to be productive and live life extra deep, with intense meaning, realizing one less person is here to love me. So, I walked a double, played and sang with greater intensity in band practice, worked a little on tying the quilt, shopped for groceries faster, trimmed more jasmine in the backyard, cooked an amazing steak and potatoes for the fam, did the dishes right away, spent more time with the kids, spoke to help and encourage two friends, showered and feel amazing. Lots of other little things, but I feel honored that God got me over the hump to reflective productivity when I miss him. I was so blessed to have him as long as I did. Was sure good to be and feel loved. Missing will always be there somewhere until heaven but it is becoming a scar tattoo of Jesus. I am growing closer to Him and He is reflecting more in me. Jesus is my hope and love. Praise God!!!❤❤❤