Fighting for Control is Stupid

Ok, here me out, control freaks. I was one of y’all. I was probably amazingly good at it, compared to most. I could bend and manipulate things in my desired direction, always with the best of intentions for the common good (my basis for justification). I wanted things to work out best for those I loved. I made it happen. Boy, was I stupid. Why stupid? Because it always bombed later because (and here is the crux of the matter) I AM NOT GOD. I never will be. It is stupid to play God and stupid to believe we ever have a handle on control of anything except ourselves, and we even need His help for that.

Now, good thing for us God is loving and gives us this free will thing so we can choose for ourselves whether to be stupid or smart and come to Him for help with this life thing He gave us.

The perception of control is a construct of lies based on an enlarged ego/pride problem. So being humble and contrite is the way to break it and be smart. And being smart is always better than being stupid, even always. So stop fighting for control except of yourself and meet up with God. This is where wisdom begins. 😄❤

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Uglier than you Think

Sin is uglier than you think. Sin lies. The basis of every sin is a lie. Every single sin is based on a lie. You will get what you want of you do this. You will get more attention if you do this. You will be loved if you do this. You will be more popular, more satisfied, more beautiful, more powerful, more free whatever. Sin uses “more” a lot. And they are all lies. And all lies disappoint and bond you to them, putting you in bondage. So the opposite is true. Not doing that sin actually brings life and freedom and peace and joy and fulfillment. In fact, humbly obeying God is beautifully freeing and wonderful. Sin lies to bind you and harm you, evil’s goal. God loves to free us and uplift us, Love’s goal. We get to decide! Choose right and live free in truth!❤

Benefits of Being Married Long Term to an Addict

Many people believe there is only negative in being married to an addict (it does not matter the addiction of choice- they all look the same ugly in a spouse and are all rooted in false beliefs, lies, sin and pride). There are many advantages and blessings. Some are the following:

1. Being humbled every day allows a contrite heart to flourish. It is next to impossible to feel like the center of anyone’s life or attention who already has their addiction as the center. Yes, the downside is that often even God and obedience comes after the addiction, but I am showing the positive and it is true that you cannot help but be humble when married to an addict. This helps a lot when working on contrition with the Lord. And that is a hurdle to faith most people really struggle with.

2. You depend on and trust in God only and that is very healthy spiritually. You cannot depend on the addict often but you realize quickly (because of the contrition mentioned earlier) that you can always depend on and trust in God.

3. You love truth. You realize that the addict, although in denial with lies and false beliefs, is riddled with guilt and fear all the time and lies like they breathe. This is so obvious and lies upon lies gets old. So you love truth. I read my Bible all the time, loving every word, every truth it is. You truly appreciate truth more than most do.

4. You accept and learn to be content in God. You appreciate everything good in life, really appreciate every blessing, every kind word, every word of encouragement, every friend who sticks around, every prayer where you feel God there with you. You appreciate more. You are thankful for a home with air conditioning, transportation, food, all those blessings people take for granted. You are content with unimportance. You are happy with every blessing and know full well that God is enough every day, every time, every moment.

5. You develop a thick chin. You realize that what God says about you is the truth and are thankful for it. You realize the truth is not in the accusations and put downs and anger/rages that always accompany the adddictions because of their nature and guilt and fear. You realize that God lovingly made you and sleep alone for years or not, you are beautiful inside, God lovingly made and gifted you. You are incredibly beautiful because God’s glory shines through you. So beautiful!

6. Forgiveness comes easily. You have to forgive so much and are humbled and contrite that forgiveness comes super easily. You have to forgive to survive. You forgive because you love. And you forgive because God forgave you and you want to be forgiven and have your prayers answered.

7. Greater faith in God. You rely on God for every encouragement, every good thing, every solution to every abuse, every emotional anything, healing when stress is getting to you, every comfort when lonely, everything. This is invaluable in a walk with the Lord and makes us closer. And heaven will be so much more beautiful!

8. You show them God’s true love. When you stay with an addict, you have the chance to show them love. In fact, the act of staying married to the addict is the strongest show of love along with the forgiveness. Love is patient, kind, self-sacrificing, humble, real, truthful, joyful, peaceful, faithful (even if they are not), etc. We are responsible for how we love. And love is purely beautiful.

9. You are in obedience to God. God hates divorce and if it can possibly be avoided, it should be. There are many blessings and rewards for obedience to God.

I hope you understand better the blessings involved in being and staying married long term to an addict. No one is perfect except Jesus. Staying married is your choice I would say largely because of these blessings and love. And God’s love is the greatest force I know.❤

Just a Reminder About Grass

Just a friendly reminder: Grass is never greener on the other side/someone else’s yard unless it’s the weeds you are noticing. Weeds can look pretty green, even have pretty little flowers on them, and there may be playground equipment on it that looks mighty fun. But alas, upon closer inspection, weeds, only rotten weeds, and the playground is broken down, only looks fun, no substance. Nope, take care of your own grass, tend it, fertilize it, own it. When it finally dies, pave it and paint it green. Memorize this: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” ❤

Long Differences

There is a long difference between a scarlet letter and being Hester’s pimp.

There is a long difference between loving someone or something and worshipping them.

There is a long difference between depression and contentment.

There is a long difference between being correct and being loving.

There is a very long distance between lie and truth.

Long differences are worth a study. Where do you fall on the spectrum? Where do you need clarity? If you find yourself always in the gray, the middle of those scenarios and others, you need to examine your heart, read your Bible and pray more. The closer you get to the Lord, the more truth and love seep in and wisdom and maturity develop. And this is beautiful!😄❤

People Want Stroking Not Truth

People say they want to truth. Deep down that is true but most really don’t want to let go of their wants and self-pampering comfort to seek it out, settling for their carnal nature feeding and stroking and pride puffing words teeming with lies. Truth is far easier and healthier but people want their cravings fed. What we need is the truth of Christ Jesus. He is the Way, Truth and Life. No one comes to God without Him. Never be content with comfort unless you have the eternal security of the truth of the Bible as a foundation first. True comfort is eternal security. That shallow comfort is temporary at best and never really that good anyway. Put in the effort and God will reward you forever in Heaven. Never give up your temporary for your eternity. Eternity is longer than you think and temporary is shorter than you can imagine.❤

Never A Drama-Void Moment

Teenagers drum up drama in their heads. Their hormones lead them one way and their imaginations expound on that in a narcissistic way to produce drama after drama for the real world from their perspective. My daughter said it best, “He’s either nice or mean or sad all the time now.” Anout sums it up.

Some people never outgrow that level of dealing with the world. They remain in teenager hormone imagination land creating drama forever. My ex is like that. If there is no drama, he will invent some to be happy or contentedly unhappy rather. It is exhausting. Now he is getting back together with his crazy wife I thought we had been blessed to be done with. And this is going on and this is and blah blah blah. Neverending drama. And my stepdaughter is teeming with that same narcissistic teenage hormone imagination drama too. Just goes on and on. My mom also has this . I think it is an epidemic, like the plague or something.

Momma’s tired of drama. You know who else wants us to get off the crazy drama train? God does. He wants us to live in perfect peace and keep our mind stayed on Him. He wants us to be joyful always and pray continuously. This is His will forum in Christ Jesus. So, simple is better and eternity-with-God minded is the ticket there. We need to let go of being included in the drama and as fast as they want to drag us there is just as quickly as we turn back to our view of the cross and rolled away stone. And I am looking forward to Easter and will work on celebrating that excellent day all year long. That was pretty dramatic.😄❤