Patience

Here I am waiting for heaven while we watch ugly narcissists around us. Just waiting… lol❤

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Envisioning Heaven

When the day is hard and long

Escape with your mind

To a world that can’t be found

Unless your spirit finds it.

And think with me a place

Full of beauty, color rich

Where evil no longer resides

And no pain, no tears, no wretch.

And I can envision this

For it comes from pages bright

The text of ancient past

That is my sword and light.

And I know this full well

My Savior waits for me

Loved me enough to die

And rose to set us free.

And I can endure so much

With patient joy and peace

For soon awaits our world,

Our perfect jubilee.

Life Lessons from Pantry Installation

So, I am learning a lot about life and me from this pantry installation. It was years in the planning and preparation and saving up phase. Now that it is here, I am tending to rush it. Why? My impatience, my worst flaw, is in full force. I am putting the paint on too thick, trying to get it all done in one coat and realizing now I have to do another coat anyway and now have to paint the border of the inside of the door in my sloppy drippy haste. It does not pay to rush a masterpiece. You take one step, one thin, careful coat at a time in painting and in life practice the same measures. One baby step at a time. Purposeful. Meticulous. Rushing produces more work and time and a mess really. I am getting this messon finally. I guess better late than never. Lol Now back to painting. Lol 🙂

School with Shed and Fence

As a family project, we put up a shed and a fence and started a sidewalk (still working on that one). As many of my regular readers know, we homeschool our kids. And we took off a week of “regular” schooling to do these family projects of shed and fence. And we planned and measured and mixed and leveled and built and so on all together as a team/ a family. It was an amazing experience and I thought how wonderful it was for all of us to learn together and create and build. My kids learned so much more than a book can teach and they need to feel useful and nd learn these skills. So for your next family project, even if you keep it simple like changing a light bulb or fixing a leaky sink (we also had to do), involve your kids and show them how. You want them calling you to their home in the future at 3pm to bail them out? No way, you want them to be able to plan and think and do it themselves. This is how they learn. Plus it unites the family and brings a greater value to each member and the family team as a whole. 🙂

Our Anniversary

My husband and I are seven years old today. Both of us forgot at first, because so much is going on lately and we had band practice this morning. But we were reminded by a very good friend and get to go out tonight! Woo hoo! Lol 🙂 We have a comfort level in our marriage and work very well together. Getting together is easy, dramatic for some couples (not us by choice), but lust drives most couples together and desire for family to marry. We were both remarrying after bad marriages and so both appreciate each other that much more. And seven years have flown by and we are looking forward to as many more as is possible. We have had rough points, of course, but we don’t live in those, we move forward with God together, focusing on our good points. We met through music in a band and are still doing music in two bands. We talk a lot about all kinds of things. We spend time together and plan and do house projects together. We really have a wonderful marriage and we are thankful to God for each other. God is the key to success amend doing things in common together. So there you have it. We am render going to go eat now. Yummy! 🙂

When your Heart Argues Amongst Itself

Sometimes the hardest part of life is when you feel two opposing things are right at the same time. Our heart and soul can drive us two directions and the result is a less than peaceful indecision. I used to think that the mind or logic fought the heart and soul and the main battle was between feelings and logic. If it were that clear and I was Yoda, much clearer would life be. But alas, life is not so easy after all because there is deep logic on both sides of the coin. So, when answers are not forthcoming and my heart and soul cannot agree, I must pray more and ask the great Problem Solver (God), who is qualified to ask because He knows everything and made us and puts people together on purpose for a reason. And then I must do a most uncomfortable thing. I must wait. This doesn’t mean I start at the grass until an answer comes. It means I follow what I believe to be the direction I am being led and not do anything drastic until greater clarity comes. Keep doing what I believe is right, keep moving forward, renew strength, gain vigar, do everything within my power to live fully according to the gifts God implanted within and bide time. There is hope for us all. Sometimes that hope gets us through the times of struggle and sometimes continues through it to even greater. Time and circumstances time related can be our worst enemy. Sometimes that enemy is us forcing time’s hand. Sometimes it just looks that way and God knows better the whys and reasons for it and it is for our greater good. God knows and we should follow His leading. I have lived in control of myself and I have lived following God in control and He always always leads the best way for everyone involved. He is good like that. So live as fully as possible, pray and wait. Then someday (my new favorite word) the reward for such putting of your life into God’s charge is that life is sweeter and richer and hands down more perfect than you ever thought possible.

On Running Away

When I was single and child-free, travel was my big escape. Once my cousin and I went on a road trip to the Grand Canyon. Often, I went alone the all of 30 minutes to Lake Michigan’s Tower Hill beach and wandered about. Once, I moved to Glendale, California with only one friend there, what fit into 2 suitcases and 2 carry-ons and started over. Often, I found hiking paths, mostly alone but once in a while with a good friend. Always it was to run away. Life overwhelmed me, I needed to be alone in nature or with a piano. A piano in nature would be ideal. 🙂 But once children came, I had to stay. Their well being trumps my desire to run. Yes, when overwhelmed, I still want to get away and be alone or with one good friend. That remains. Yes, I still want to be alone in nature or with a piano and would love a piano in nayure to this day, but my responsibility to raise these children trumps that. I just can not run anymore. I have very little alone time. Most people think that is a good thing but for me, being alone clears my moveractive brain and forcs my focus back to God and restores my mind, body and soul, which is quite off balance of late. So, I am working now on how to restore and revitalize my balance without my trusty escape run. It is forcing me to workout new brain cells that seem sluggish right now, but I am certain I will figure it out. In the meanwhile, I stay and do my work and force little goals to focus on. And when the kids are out of the house, I may yet hit the road with a roadtrip or fly to Hawaii a bit to visit good friends there. Who knows. But perseverance pays off in the long run and God does not give you a vision of beauty without allowing you that for hope at the right time. And I know a lot of people who ran away in the midst of everything, ran into a bottle, into drugs, into porn, into a new life or state or country. Many people I know and patients have told me stories and the common theme is regret. They regret their weakness in those moments that started them down a path of daily or even hourly running from crazy or stresses. These people lived years of regret when they realized they lost their kids while running from spouses. Life is a very fragile flower. It is easily shaken apart. It is easily missed. And I would rather run sometimes but I must and will stay because my children are my responsibility and need a mother present to teach them how to be grown ups later. Good ones. So children first and run later. And those worth running with will still be worth running with if worth anything at all.