Eye Contact Plus Smile Equals Love

I have a new custom of late. Having grown tired of the rude lack of eye contact with humans lately. They are so often involved in this.fantasy world of phones and tech and games that they rarely look at you, even if they are working in the place you are. This is horrible and I have rejected it. So my new custom is to demand eye contact by not giving the right automaton response or calling their name if wearing a nametag or something and smile and say hi. I want to remind them that real people still exist and that we are friendly and loving. I am not a robot or fantasy thing. I am real. I believe it is making a difference one person and I highly recommend you adopt my new habit. It is beautiful and makes a difference. Soon, these same people look for you to come in because they need love, need that smile, need eye contact, saying “I see you. I care. I love you and want to see you.” And bam! Difference made. Small but carries over maybe to heights unknown. (And God sees it.) ❤

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Spring

The air is different. It is filled with sunshine ‘ warmth and pollen – filled scents. The jasmine is blooming and it’s scent fills our house and the whole outdoors around purchase house. This is literally the only time of the year jasmine is appreciated growing on the four walls of fence surrounding our house (the rest of the time it is a lot of work to trim lol) But for now, the smell is beautiful. And birds! They have come back from a sort of lethargy to play and mate and build nests and twitter and tweet and just be. Bees are working on pollenation, wasps are looking for nesting sights. All the world is and live and active and lovely. Spring is here, the rejeuvination of nature, the love and romanticism of all of God’s creation is here. Hope. God’s beauty is so evident here. How filling we just celebrated the resurrection of our Lord. His creation echoes this celebration and worship is so easy right now. Praise God for spring!!

Destructive People

There are some people who we are really better off never knowing. They are destructive, “toxic” in today’s language. The problem is that most often we do not know this about them until we are in deep enough that the damage is already done. Of course, there are plenty of destructive people who make it obvious that they are just that, for instance those trying to divide America and not support her President’s attempts to unite and heal us or those who use their entertainment platforms to combat unity, but I digress. For those secretive about it, one way we can prevent being conned is by being close personal friends with the truth. When we are close to God in regular prayer and read His Word, we are so familiar with the truth that when we come in contact with smooth talk and little subtle lies, we see it for what it is. And expect it to look good, maybe too good, and play on emotions. If you feel your emotions being tugged or moving unusually, chances are something is amiss. Remember that as the very best of roach killers is 99% food and 1% poison, so the very best of lies are 99% truth and 1% poisonous lie. These are the ones we have to be the most closely on guard for. For example, in my previous life, I had met a guy who told me how beautiful I was, how wonderful my personality was, how fantastic everything I did was, how much he lived me, etc. and my emotions were tugged. Of course, as soon as someone came by who he thought had more to offer, he dropped me like a bad habit and left me high and dry, not even looking back. Talk about destructo-boy. Smooth, pretty words with a touch if real truth amidst a world of flattert. This is just an extreme example but happens a lot. This is why when I met my husband, who is a little rough around the edges but never pretends to be anything else, I respected that and took notice. It should never the goal of an honest person to get what they can from you. And when someone loves you for who you are, like my husband does, they may not talk so pretty but they prove they love you by their actions, helping you with life and not demanding your life from you. I can be myself with my husband. He loves me is why. Destructive people love only themselves, and I am not sure they even understand the word love truly. They are damaged so they damage others or chose to damage others because of evil choices. It really doesn’t matter why unless they are trying to heal and change. The action requires us to eliminate that bad behavior from our lives. That is not selfish or rude or mean to them, it is good stewardship of what God has given us. It is being responsible and loving to ourselves. So please cozy up to God and His Truth as often as you can and be on guard against thieves of joy and peace, these destructive/toxic people. God knows. He will provide always. His love for us is real and true. 

The Realness of Reality

In my younger days, I watched a lot of movies and read a lot of fairy tales. While imagination is an amazing spark for the mind to bloom in, there is a disconnec between that which we wish were real and that which really is. My very very visual and imaginative mind can paint such a picture that I often have not been able to see the difference. But one thing I had to respect about my Daddy was his realness, his tangibility. You always knew where he stood because he was never hiding anything. He was a truth teller, a very real man. He did not romance my mom but he always provided for her and we were never without what we needed. He was not a flatterer but always worked hard to pay the bills. He did not promote sensitivity of emotion, but he worked the soil with a love of nature he passed down to me. There is a difference sometimes between what the heart expects and longs for than what it really can ever get a hold of. But since Daddy left this earth, I have a much greater appreciation for that which surrounds me now. I appreciate the messiness and loudness of my children as well as their strong minds. I appreciate that my husband keeps a roof over our heads and food in the fridge for me to prepare. I appreciate friends who are ho est with me when I have talked too much. I appreciate breaking the silence with a very real laugh. I appreciate the breaking of leaves and twigs u der my feet as I hike through the wooded trails. I love Jesus’ honesty all throughout Scripture and when He answers prayers. I can wait forever for a maybe of some fantasy world or live life in a beautiful and very real reality now. My dad was real. And though my mom may have longed for some of the novel romantic gestures so easy to grasp as natural, she could never have had a more loyal, trustworthy, completely devoted man who kept her health and home a priority even above his own life. There is a real romance in that,no deception, just a refreshingly frank and real reality of love in action. Other than a good meal, he expected nothing but continued giving to the last. I had to tell him I would look after mom before he would leave his body that had finished a while ago. The will he had to the last was the will to care for his wife. Sacrificial love to the end. Appreciated and recognized or not, he did not care but he would be true to his heart and love her the best he could. That is heroic. And in a very etherial way, was a real and tangible romantic love, seemingly practical but unadulterated by sticky to the and buttery lips. Real is better.

Sometimes You’re the Doughnut, Sometimes the Hole

The star of the workplace breakfast is the Doughnut. The Doughnut has the attention, the mouths drool, the doughnutless are envious, the one with the doughnuts is the hot one. No one cares that a Doughnut has very little healthy substance inside. No one cares that they will be hungry again in about 10 minutes, the Doughnut still rules and dictates status. And then there are the Doughnut holes, the forgotten, the table scraps, the only get attention if the doughnuts are gone ones. These little guys do not wow, only make you drool with anticipation if you’re starving. They are easily discarded. And life is so very funny in that one minute you can be the Doughnut, envied, have attention, make them drool, wow the masses or just that special someone and the next few minute thrown the heck out like dirty bathwater on a cold day as you turned into the Doughnut hole status. You are suddenly loved, unlovable, ugly, thrown out, easily dismissed for the next or past Doughnut that comes into the room. This is the way of the world. Never content, flippant, selfish, unkind. I have a friend who was a model and it was amazing after aging 10 years how she could no longer get hired. My own kids play with a toy with great atte tion u til something else flashes before them and they have to have the new thing (of course momma don’t play that lol) and some people never outgrow that compulsion for the next new thing, despite what they paid for the last version, mind you only a few months old. And people discard people like that sometimes too, reminding  e of the annoying popular crowd cliques from high school. It is prevalent in the world now. But the thing is that to God, the One who made you, you never cease to be a Doughnut but better, a Doughnut that is extremely appealing but also has substance so is healthy to others. We are all so very precious to God, if to no one else in the world. He sees us as He made us to be. He draws us to Himself. He is the Baker, you see. The doughnuts are His and He takes great pride in hand crafting each one.

The Power of Romance to a Woman

Women do not need romance but we have a deep desire to have it in our lives in order to feel secure and loved. Women know that a man will not be romantic with a woman unless he loves her, whether just because of that love or to reciprocate or get something back or because he is guilty of something. Women (most) are not stupid. Romance is a warm, safe, loved place to be. We feel appreciated and loved when we are attended to softly. It is much more important than I ever realized. Without romance, the emotions and hormones inside us force us to doubt love, to doubt security, to doubt importance, to doubt sincerity, to doubt appreciation. And each woman sees romance differently, according to how she’s cut, how God designed her, her experiences, her love language. Some women love receiving flowers, others (like me) could do without that forever but love planting flowers outside to see them longer and represent life and not dead flowers (no bias there). So those women want a potted plant to nurture and that is very romantic. Some women want a massage, touches through the day, hugs in abundance. Some women want love notes and encouragement. Some would find it romantic just to pick up your clothes off the floor or wash the dishes once in a while. Everyone is different and the beauty and bonding in a relationship allows for exploration into what works best. But not exploring that or doing anything about it once you know is not an option if you want to stay warm and cozily loved in your woman’s heart. A woman will remain long after her heart has left. And also, a woman (most women anyway) is quick to forgive when attempts are remade. To prevent this heart numbing and cessation of full life and happiness in the relationship, efforts must be made. Men need romance too, now. It is important to provide what each other needs for happiness to be possible. The efforts are rewarded richly (unless sense is not involved).

Unexpected Charm

When you pay attention, carefully attempt to pay attention and understand what is going on, you sometimes stumble upon unexpected charm. It may be found in an obvious place, like a good friend or older family member, or it may be quite unexpected in nature or in someone new. But charm still exists and still captivates today and has the capability to take you to a whole new place. It is worth watching for and holding out for. It is a place of untouched sweetness and honor and a form of purity that can not be explained away. It is the sensation of stumbling upon a stone cabin with a roaring fire and hot tea waiting by a cozy chair and a good book, all in expectation of you. It is feeling precious after not feeling very appreciated, feeling loved after seeking it, feeling freshness after the rain. It exists, but we must be paying attention or we miss it. Charm must be treated, though, because it can be deceitful or honestly pure, depending on the motives. Be wary yes, but seek it for its ability to lift you from where you are.