So, my son decides yesterday to get up really early in the morning with me and walk with me to start the day. He is normally a night person like me and hard to get out of bed, so I was expecting the worst. Instead, he pops right up and is eager to go. Oy. So off we go and I am pleasantly surprised because I generally love walking time to enjoy God’s creation and talk to Him and just be quiet. I thought my chatty son would be a peace deterrent but instead he was pleasingly quiet with the sparce comment here or there. Lovely. So he will be joining me and we have more time together, and I thank God for that. Another happy place. Wonderful. 🙂
In the last year, I have gone through such a radical journey in my mind, it is difficult to remember who I was before this force-fed maturity. Lol I was this free-spirited, laughter – loving, self-sufficient woman with a firmly decisive view on life and how to live it. Having been through a series of losses and illness and caretaking and deaths, I careened into a cycle of falling apart and humbling myself, something no doubt long overdue in my life, but with more tears thrown in there than I have ever cried before in the entirety of my life. I was broken. I was damaged. I was lost for a bit. It was ugly because I felt truly alone inside, even with my living kids and husband who rallied to love me and a few amazing friends of new and old. And I tell you not for one minute did God ever give up on me or refuse to comfort every breakdown in tears. And I gradually started to get it. I started to see how this smart doctor really needed this series of events to appreciate simplicity and know God better and be humbled enough to grow as a woman into a deeper love of God. I am on Twitter and blog and cannot help but share God with everyone. He is so good. I know and understand this first hand. He resaved this little girl. I am nothing without His love and loving grace interference. I am so thankful that He rescued me from the mire of self-pity and depression I was falling into and restored His gift of laughter to me and seconded that gift with a new superpower: empathy. It is a heavy gift but a beautiful one because I am so much more connected with people around me and before I was always so weird and a bit, well, aloof, when it came to emotions. I saw them as weakness and now I see they have purpose and strength when utilized to help and comfort and release. There is and new me in here and most of this journey quite frankly occurred in my mind. I believe our journeys occur in our minds and hearts primarily and our physical manifestation is a long time coming, an ordeal of many years of internal devotion. This is why it is so important to keep our minds focused on Jesus Christ and His Word. This is why I often put scripture on Twitter and my blogs. This is why I read it and load up on Truth and teach my kids. We have to worship God with our minds and hearts before we can ever expect to serve Him and mankind with our lives. Our actions result from the ambitions and meanderings and obsessions of our minds and hearts. From this, we act. And God sees and looks at the heart and mind. He knows us better than anyone, having lovingly designed us and all, and He will judge our motivations first and foremost and actions second. It is impertinent we keep a clean house of our mind and heart. This journey is first of the mind. We must think and feel God and Truth and Light and keep feeding on these healthy things. This journey may be hard and arduous but if we use the right tools of God’s Word, prayer, humility, self-control, it will seem shorter, easier, more peaceful and joyful. ❤
My son is at his dad’s for the weekend and my husband is busy with an amp and monitor repair, so I have the golden, rare opportunity to take my daughter on a date. So we are going to the children’s museum and then to a late lunch. I have been keeping score for my son’s baseball team’s games, so she has been away from me a bit and we need time together. Kids need time feeling like they are the sole captors of your attention and love. It is vital to their core memory group to help anchor them when they are on their own and life gets really rough. So off we go and all the best to you on your special day. And if it isn’t, you’re not looking hard enough. 😉 Love you!
So, turns out even the deepest of mourning and ugly sadness and loss and illness has an end. There is a corner you turn in the process of God’s healing, most probably be a use if we turn the corner too soon, we keep going back to it. It is a decision that cannot come too soon, there is a process. I tried to rush that as I try to rush much of life and recently God helped me make a conscience decision to relax, be quiet, simplify and wait it out. I did so and with the help of God, my husband and kids and a handful of amazing friends, I have indeed turned that corner. I went swimming with the kids yesterday, exercised last night, listened to good music, read, watched a little home improvement shows, and planned some of our own with my husband, whose patience and new encouragement I so appreciate. So there you go. I am living proof of the healing process. I have turned a corner and God’s hope is there. I have walked quite literally through the shadow of death and while I never feared because my faith is strong, I wondered if I would live there forever. And my Good Good Father brought me through the valley. And now I understand His quiet methods and timing much better for having gone through it and fully realize His strength and wisdom and not my own that saw me through and led me back to whole. He reseal ed my heart with His healing so it remembers but is renewed stronger. Praise God who is so good! Praise God wisdom go loves us! Praise God wisdom gogo is wise and loving and present!! How I love Him!!!
I understand that I may get a lot of flack for this, but I believe the Bible does not forbid drinking but commands against drunkenness and gluttony (personally, I think being judgmental is far more heinous a crime). So I drink now and then but to this day have never been drunk or high once. (I confess I have enjoyed chocolate way too much on occasion.) Needless to say, a glass of red wine now and then keeps my tummy calm. And recently, I have found the drink from a good memory with my best friend in the past when we stayed at a bed and breakfast in Niles, Ohio. They had served a nightcap of a wonderful drink before bed and we sipped slowly on that, talking and nd laughing late into the night on such a beautiful night, a very beautiful memory. And I was directed by a lady to Taylor Cream Sherry. The first sip took me back to that beautiful summer day and recollections of a very happy weekend of my life. We had toured Youngstown’s Art Museum and eaten out and just had a wonderful visit, no kids, no spouses, just best friends hanging out. Needless to say, that has not happened in a while, but it amazed me how beautifully one sip of awn unusual and sweet drink we shared brought all of that happy memory right back to the present, like it just happened and I am thankful! Oh how I love my best friend and how I love God for reminding me of such a great time of my life! Thank you, God!
I love surprises. I would rather be surprised, with good or bad news really. I don’t want to know until I have to if it is bad and if it good, I glean much more enjoyment if it is unexpected. Why? Because I am internally still a child in many ways. I get bored. I was adventure, seek new things, bad or good as long ass it us new. And life is absolutely full of new experiences all the time so I am happy. And today, I met with a friend and her family from my former years who we had grown through and recently had lost touch. And she was there this morning before I had put my piano away! It was so good to see them and what a great surprise!!! There is much fun and beauty and happy things to think on with such an unexpected visit from an old friend. God provides people in life to love on and be loved by when you need them. I love that about God. It is so cool because He, being my Heavenly Father, knows I love surprises and He gives me surprise blessings when I need them. God is so very good, my friend!!!!
1. God made us specifically and with loving care for a sacred purpose at just such a time as this. 2. God is still in charge and His will is what will happen at the right time for the best perhaps unknown reasons. 3. We have knowledge of God’s will and nature through His Word the Bible. 4. We have the gift of salvation for eternity through Jesus Christ, true of anyone who humbly prays to accept it. Wow. 5. God’s creation of nature is available to us to enjoy and worship Him. 6. Work is a blessing because we can do it and it pleases God and causes Him to reward us. 7. Children are a blessing for they carry on joy and refresh with newness and imagination. 8. Good friends and good family are blessings for we do not travel through life alone and we have love. 9. Love is a blessing for we are so blessed that our powerful God is clothed in love so that we can live and not be in danger. 10. The Holy Spirit is a gift so we may know right from wrong and be allowed wisdom and the fruits of the Spirit for life. These amazing blessings are available, regardless of what else happens, good or bad, in the day. They may be used to start the day off in gratitude and prayer and uplift during the day. They are lasting and trustworthy. God is so good!