I Don’t Cry Anymore (except when empathizing)

Now, since my Daddy died two years ago, I have not.been able to help but cry if someone is crying- real life or on tv/movies. It is just a new thing now where I can empathize with people’s heartache. That is honestly new to me since these last two years. I felt the deepest pain of my life and I now feel other people’s pain. Even if I had felt it before I never cried. I can probably count on one hand how many times I cried growing up. Just not a crier before. So it is a new thing when I see other’s heartache.

Now, for me, I do not cry, not since I came out of the sobbing wet depression a year ago. After Daddy died, I cried for a year straight about and was depressed and really selfish. I know I had a family to look after and did so mechanically but wounded my children in the process and am still rebuilding that. But selfishly, I was stuck for a year in rich grief. Grief n is normal but letting it take over my life was selfish of me, in my case.

Since I snapped out of the depression with God’s help, I have worked hard on rebuilding (God’s specialty) and have only cried since then when I have seen someone cry, but not for me, just for them and their sake and pain, to help. I get it. I understand their pain. I lived it.

I believe sometimes for other people, you can help them more.by crying with them than any amount of advice or well wishes. But as far as we go, we focus on the wrong thing personally when crying. God comforts those who mourn but also rewards those who obey. Now hear me in love… Awfully hard to serve God and others when constantly thinking of what we lost. We do better at our eternal work when we are grateful for what we have left. Re-read that and you will be glad you did. Prayer and pleasing God in obedience is the option. πŸ˜„β€

My Birth Month

My mother gave birth to me during this month. That means I was conceived some time in May. Since May, I was a growing baby. And I grew miraculously until I was mature enough to come out into this world and breathe on my own. I was fully functional long before that but just not big enough yet. And I was born on February 16th. And this birth month I am not as excited to celebrate my birthday or birth month as is my custom. I am sorrowful for the babies who are now able to be murdered because of some heartless, evil politicians and the heartless, evil people who elected them and approved and even cheered this heartless, evil decision. It was a dark day in our country and if people do not rise up and demand it be overturned and at the least isolated, we will all face the judgment of God. And that is a matter of national security as surely as loose borders are. And this is the deep mournful concern on my heart during this month I used to celebrate. How can I celebrate life when my American brothers and sisters are celebrating death? How can any of us?πŸ’”

Lamentations 5:21

Lamentations 5:21. “Restore us to yourself, Lord, that we may return; renew our days as of old”

Why an entire book on weeping for consequences of a nation’s sin? Because weeping is a necessary step toward repentence and repentence restores our relationship with God. So before a nation that has been neglectful of their God can return to Him, they must first be sorry that they screwed up. Thus Lamentations exists to emphasize that very important point. It is a call to knees. A sorrowful acknowledgment of wrong. And even though it has this mournful purpose, wrought with years of devastation and misery, it has these beautiful pockets of hope in God, of restoration, of hope for the future. They are sandwiched in the weeping so are easily overlooked, but what a great example of the beauty of God and that sorrow may last for a night but joy comes in the morning. We all must mourn and be sorry so we can make it right and restore our relationship with God. Then, what a beautiful world we would live in!❀

In Memory of Family

We have lost family. I wanted to remember them. Here is to time together. We love you dearly still though you chose to leave us. May God bless you and keep you close to Him as we are not allowed to be. God is for you! You are always welcome. ❀

Missing Kat
Kat LaLonde, our Lost Daughter in Law
Wil Sepulveda Missing
Wil Sepulveda, Our Lost Drumming Brother