The Lord has brought me to a new home in my soul, a retreat of acceptance. There is a maturity, forged by intense, deep suffering, longing, loneliness, forgiveness, then acceptance. At least for this moment, I am certain and feel warmly thankful that God has brought me through the worst of times. It only took and year, and that sounds like a lot but some people carry it around forever and self-education to ease the burden of it. I feel and am very blessed to be here right now at this new residence of acceptance. And the effort and tears are well worth the process because when God solves the matter, the cleansing is intense, thorough and deep so it lasts forever. No baggage to carry around anymore and when I realized it this morning while walking and talking with the Lord, I could not stop crying thankful, joyful tears of relief. It is beautiful. Thank you, God!❤❤❤
One of the joys (insert sarcasm) for me in turning 43 was a new, lovely (more sarcasm) fuzziness of things/words close to me. So now I have the luxury (yep, here too) of wearing reading glasses when I read or quilt, etc. Woo hoo! And one day, I put my glasses on to quilt and things were still fuzzy. I read and the words were fuzzy. So, assuming my eyesight was worsening, I started to be annoyed until I realized that my glasses had been smudged by fingerprints or some other obnoxious thing. I cleaned them and all was right again (or as right as possible having to wear reading glasses-Oy!). And I realized that we do that in life too. We see things flawed or skewed when in reality, we have some issues to clean up in the lenses of our minds. You see, how we view the world has everything to do with (directly proportional to) how much we clean up our hearts and minds. Truth is the great cleaning tool for this, found in the Bible, with a healthy heaping of love and prayer with God. When purified/cleaned, we see things differently, and our goal is to be so pure we see with the eyes of Jesus Christ. Then we understand what we need to do to help and why and how. This is a truly fantastic thing! ❤❤❤
So, my pre-teen son has been struggling lately with normal hormone issues plus his dad’s drama with his psychotic wife and two of her three boys’ meanness and his stepdad’s often acute critical attacks on him. So we thought it best to enroll him in the US Naval Sea Cadets (a Sea Bee battalion for his age group). This allows him to develop leadership skills and train him for many various skills and leadership and service rolls, as well as foster his growth and development in allows positive way. So today, I dropped him off for his first mini boot camp. Not only did I not have to wake him at 6am, but he was ready to go at 6am, having gotten himself up at 5:30am. We left early and were the first ones there. And the sunrise in was spectacular and affirming, with sunset pink colors and a heavy mist on the grassy fields we passed. I am excited for this new phase of his journey toward manhood. I am so proud of him. And the I got back and walked my mile and a half, talking to God the whole way, and am now sitting contentedly on the porch swing looking at this:
I just watched a testimony on TV about a woman restored by God from drugs, spiritism, abuse, abortions, horrible experiences. It is amazing the loving power of Jesus. What He can touch and heal immediately when humbly asked is almost beyond comprehension. Jesus made this transformation in my life. I have wandered in my pride, been attacked, been abused for years by my sister, been emotionally abused in a bad marriage for years, made many bad choices in life, many bad men and this crumbled mess of a girl is the strong woman of God I am today. Jesus is the only reason and my Grandma’s prayers and her faith in what God can do prompted Jesus to keep fighting for me. He came after me. I had pushed Him away for years just sure a momentary love of a man would take care of me and heal me and that never happened, only made things worse. And it took utter disaster and broken heartedness on the deepest level in my life to humble my heart to accept Jesus’ love and salvation. It is powerful and precious and tender and potent drenched with love all at the same time. I am free in Him. And safe. And utterly in love with Him. I adore everything about Him. I love how He sets birds into song in the morning. His trees are regal, flowers are luxurious, animals fun and diverse. The way He patiently calms me and comforts me when I remember something and bawl again is precious to me. Oh how I love Jesus. Oh how He loves me. And oh how He loves you!❤❤❤
Been balanced lately and doing quite well. And don’t worry, I am at peace and in joy and love with God. Today, however, under stress of heat, too much sun, too much work in both, cleaning mom’s house, walking her dog, kids misbahaving, not enough sleep, doubling up my morning walk, this momma hit a near crazy today. God helped me when I asked, just wished I had asked earlier and not done so much, but such is life. I am forgiven. The thing is, I realized this one thing is still plaguing me. I blogged about it a bit ago and thought I had fully kicked it to the curb but I am stubborn sometimes when I should not be. It is great sometimes but is a powerful tool that can be used for good or evil. So, when stress is high and crazy is looming, seems like that is when old haunts return to further stir the pot and double confusion. I don’t think that is a coincidence. Not for one second. See, our enemy wants us dead. Plays a great, alluring make believe, elaborate game with us, but lying scum the entire time, scum that throws you away like garbage as soon as possible and leaves you for dead. Pretends to love and dishes out a hate dessert. This is why I (and we all) need to get enough rest and stay healthy (physically and spiritually) to keep our guard up and be ready when too much comes our way, which it is bound to. I am going to bed now after a long talk with God and be more ready next time. This life thing is a series of attacks and adjustments all and long the path. I am so thankful we have God and each other for help and support. Be the light! Love you! ❤
The only spiritual cure for damaging, sometimes fatal addictions is the truth of the Bible. Before you call me a simpleton for not understanding psychology, let me explain. Addictions spiritual issues and are founded and perpetuated by lies, lies like “This will make me feel better,” “I have control over it,” “It’s not a sin,” “It am not hurting anyone,” “It’s ok because I am really a good person,” “It’s ok because I do good things to balance it out,” “It is fine because God knows I love Him,” “No one will find out,” “Everyone does it,” “If you knew what I’ve been through, you would see why I need this.” There are many more lies and after a while of these lies (which are sins themselves), the truth becomes riddled with guilt and foggy at best. What is true anymore? See, these lies are plants of demonic forces, sent to deceive and ultimately destroy you and even those who dare to love you. Deception must be confronted with the truth or it continues to fester. When Jesus was tempted in the desert after not eating for 49 long days in a weakened state, He only defended Himself with Bible quotes. He did not reason or go into His upbringing or explain or joke around or use sarcasm. He said the Bible says so and so. God said so and so. And He told Him to go. Did it work? Absolutely. Bible is truth. “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” “As you forgive, you will be forgiven.” That includes yourself. Pray, humble your heart to God, opened your Bible and just read. Truth opens your eyes and love shatters the strongholds. Resist the temptation and read the Bible more. Command the voices in your head (evil spirits) to leave in Jesus’ name. Read more Bible. All of it is truth so read anywhere. God will help you. He loves you more than anyone can!
I have a new custom of late. Having grown tired of the rude lack of eye contact with humans lately. They are so often involved in this.fantasy world of phones and tech and games that they rarely look at you, even if they are working in the place you are. This is horrible and I have rejected it. So my new custom is to demand eye contact by not giving the right automaton response or calling their name if wearing a nametag or something and smile and say hi. I want to remind them that real people still exist and that we are friendly and loving. I am not a robot or fantasy thing. I am real. I believe it is making a difference one person and I highly recommend you adopt my new habit. It is beautiful and makes a difference. Soon, these same people look for you to come in because they need love, need that smile, need eye contact, saying “I see you. I care. I love you and want to see you.” And bam! Difference made. Small but carries over maybe to heights unknown. (And God sees it.) ❤