Appearances are Often Misleading

Case in point. My distant neighbors had a white tent up that appeared to surround their house. My daughter observed it and asked about it. At first glance, I answered her that we needed to pray for our poor neighbors who must have to have their house fumigated for termites. Later, I discover I was wrong and that the tent was beside their house and was housing their daughter’s wedding reception. Lol How funny. I pictured termites meeting their demise in this tent and here is a new life union instead. And it goes to show that maybe some things we say or do require a greater explanation, many words or very clear and efficient ones. It is often necessary to explain or people will misrepresent us, just as we can easily misunderstand other people. Ask. Explain. Check. Certainly do so before speaking of what you are not certain with others. We seem to have lost the ability or desire to communicate with all this tech and anti-social (a good example of something not as it appears) media and endless entertainment and/or games and chats. We must be careful. It is imperitive.❤

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Teenage Struggle/I am Bible

As tears flow generously down the afore stained cheek, he mourns.

For loss of complete family and years of criticism, he breaks.

For neglect and demands and no free space, he wishes more.

While seeking meaning and purpose, he is scoffed.

In deep hormonal imbalance of teen season, he is insecure.

For him, I write love. I write courage. I write understanding. I write meaning. I write purpose. I write eternal security. I write truth. I am his Bible.❤

Facebook Snobs

Lol. I am sure Facebook people (of which I am not and have no account) do not intend on being snobs. But they assume everyone is on Facebook and some of us archaic people still prefer real people to their digital masks or counterparts. And these FB peeps club up on there and leave us out. “Well, I posted it” (in the air so it is not my fault you prefer the ground, you old fashioned freak) is their defense. We went to a 4-H meeting today and no one was there. “We posted the cancellation”. Oh, that’s OK then. No worries about my rearranging my old fashioned schedule for you FB addicts. So there is my official stance on the digital choice (which records and tracks and shares and maps you) versus real interactions with people who can still use full words in complete sentences and make eye contact. It’s like the whole world is playing Pokémon Go rather than living life, like an alternate reality they prefer to live in (now I sound like the snob lol) and whoever doesn’t climb on thr fantasy train distraction is an old fashioned oaf that doesn’t fit in so must be a weirdo. Lol Maybe a bit harsh and probably no one knows that is what they are doing, they slid into it so sweetly, bit by golly, we old timers are people too. And if your club cancels a meeting, please inform the rest of us who are not citizens of fruity FB land but real life people on the ground picking up the slack for y’all cell phone faces. Lol❤

The Quest for Rest

Restlessness accompanies busyness “in my world”, as my daughter so aptly puts it. I have had trouble focusing on God, concentrating on tasks, depression trying to resurface, etc with such a terribly busy schedule. There must be a balance I have not found yet between serving the Lord and fellow man with gladness and sleeping. Tending toward the workhorse (thanks for that, daddy), I want to help make up for so many who are not doing their share of serving. Maybe it is the strong humanitarian in me but “see a need, full a need” for me is quite literal. But in doing so, I can overlook little things like, say, sleep. I am tired. I have lazy people asking me to do more but no living person asking me to sit down and have a spot of tea and rest a bit. So, as my dad always said “I’ll rest in heaven” and he is, but I will try to sleep a bit now after prayers before I am worthless in my service. I am supposed to love and care for myself as well as other people too, I guess. ‘Night.❤

Made to Feel

I used to get angry at myself for showing my feelings. It always seemed to be frowned upon. I was always a very emotional girl but no one would ever know it. I was led to believe crying is for babies and emotional outbursts were for the out of control and thus a crime. I stifled. I wondered why we had feelings if we could never express them. Then I thought maybe they were for marriage, to pour into your mate for life. And then I had no feelings left after a very short amount of time and did not know where to go from there. Upon remarrying, my husband quiets and limits my emotion and feelings also so again I am quelled. Why does God give us emotions if we have to stifle them all the time? There must be a reason because He never makes mistakes and I am not questioning Him, just me. Am I so different? Is this my biggest reason I am weird?  Even worshipping, people want quiet reverence when I want to scream and dance that my Savior lives and loves us and is coming soon!!! There seems a strange conundrum here. Perhaps it is because we are made for something more… some greater freedom. Maybe heaven will be loud and fun. Maybe we are given feelings to motivate us to act. Maybe evil screwed that all up too and we will be free when it is laid to rest soon. For whatever reason, I will continue to ride it out and try my very best to minimize my emotions and discount my feelings. I warn you, though, I am gaining ground with self-control (why one person that attacked my family is still unharmed and will remain so- I forgive her) but I am caring less and less what others think of my worshipping the Lord corporately. I care what God thinks. Everyone else, not so much anymore. I obey God, not them.❤

Closeup Inspection

So, I took an uncomfortably closeup shot just to look objectively at my health progress and I noticed something other than the plain features and small hormonal breakout. I still don’t look anything like either my mom or my dad (so the adopted theory is still on the table). However, I am looking a little bit more like my sister in the eyes as I age. And that is making the adopted theory a bit shakier now. Lol Well, have a fantastic night’s sleep, beautiful friend. ❤

Sun Kissed

Too much sun today, from Homeschool Group meeting and then pool time. Lots of sun, lots of heat. Did I mention hot?

So the pool felt good but added to the sun part. And I thought, isn’t that what we do in life? We play with fire, get close to it, have a little more fun, stay a little bit longer and before we know it, we are wounded, burned. Christians seem hell bent on seeing how much of the world they can enjoy and still be saved, how close to the fire without getting burned. Instead, we should be enjoying the fruit of the Spirit and seeing how different we can be from the world as we worship and serve the Lord. ❤