Most nights now, I sleep like a baby.
Tonight I am still awake at 2:30am with my thoughts and songs.
And I made peace with my past yet again.
And I realize that without the devastation, I would not know myself so well. I would not be so strong and realize it fully.
So much more importantly, without the horrible, I never would have known the enor ity of the love of God. I would never have known the vast depth of His comfort. I would have never fully comprehended that if all I ever had in this world was Jesus Christ, I would be perfectly complete.
So, having completed that very precious truth in my brain, I will now go to sleep. Peaceful and full of joy.
God is everything. All is well. No worries. Ever.♥
During the day, I am very busy. This is an extremely busy season of our lives. I keep busy, I have no choice. But at night, alone and quiet in my bed, the rest of the house asleep and dreaming sweet or weird dreams as they may. That is when my wondering happens. Right before dreams come to me, I have thoughts. I wonder about all kinds of things. Some are beautiful and good, magnificent and praiseworthy things. Some are dark and mysterious, bordering on temptations. And this is when I have to stop the turn made and double back to good again. I cannot do this on my own. The Holy Spirit in me is powerful enough to tame my rambling mind and kick out what was kicked out hundreds of times before and reverse direction to godly wonder. It is not for me to choose what to think about, it is for me to contritely obey God when He said to think about things that are good and honorable and praiseworthy. That was commanded. So I need to constantly check my thought wondering and especially at night when it is hardest, obey God with the powerful help of the Holy Spirit. He helps every time I really want Him to and convicts me when I don’t. What a gift He is!!❤❤❤
Here is a short list of important things to NEVER say:
1. I can’t.
2. It is their fault.
3. I will never do that.
4. I can do this without help.
5. I don’t need the Lord.
6. Church is full of hypocrites, I am not going. (The world is full if hypocrites- we are all human.)
7. Well, just this once.
8. Any lie.
9. No one understands/loves me/cares/gets me/wants me around.
10. Anything negative or discouraging.
That is my short list. If anyone is interested, I can expound on why, but the truth is that these statements are particular dangerous and/or sinful. If we are on an eternal track here, which we are, I would like to remain positive and obedient to God to ensure my relationship is close enough to God to make the rapture.
Tomorrow, I will write my short list of things to say at least every day.❤
We do not contemplate our ancestors enough. They had to have had a certain endurance for us to be here. They had to love each other and care about family enough to procreate. They had to be healthy enough, strong enough, really tough. They had to care. They protected their land, fought oppression and tyranny, they lived and thrived enough to provide for a family that could provide for a family and so on until we came on the scene. They had faith they wanted to pass down. They had principles they stuck to. They had guns to protect their investment. They had land they worked. Our Forebears rocked. They were incredible and their endurance runs through our veins. And I am grateful for and to them and to God for providing what they needed so we would be here now and I could be raising my own children here now. Thank you, foreparents. Thank you, God.❤
Just when I thought it was over, it wasn’t.
Just when I thought it was gone, it came back.
Just when I thought it had ended, it began.
Just when I thought it was finished, it rejeuvenates.
Perhaps the problem is thinking
So many things all of the time
Perhaps I just have to ride it out
And see where it is that God guides.
God knows every thought and each whisper.
He knows how it began and will end.
There is no use second guessing the Master,
For it will be as He says in the end.❤
So, several times now, there have been more readers of my blog from India than the USA, where I am from. It is fascinating, and reminded me of my good friend Anita Bandhakar, who was in the Masters of Science in Audiology class with me. I lost touch with her for we went to separate states for our internships, but I had befriended her when others did not, and I used to wonder about that. She was genuinely nice and very brilliant and a sister to me in class. People can be very harsh to people they don’t understand and that just shows their intelligence level and moral character in my opinion. And it would be wonderful to see India such a large and diverse country so rich in history and natural diversity. Seems like it would be difficult to live in a city with so many people, but I imagine like NY, you get used to it. But the ancient architecture I have seen in geography books and travel shows is enthralling. So, long story short, hi! And, trying to be amusing and not sterotypical, thank you so much for Yoga because seriously it is so nice to stretch and get a workout. Very cool. I love you all, everyone, in other countries as well. And praise God for bringing us together. That is very cool.😄❤
I am a studier and appreciate of people, mostly because it impresses and amazes me how unique and detailed people are and how incredible God is for making every person so beautifully on purpose with love. But anyway, I love to know what people are thinking because it is fascinating. And so I am sharing my thoughts and maybe someone will reciprocate on their blog and I can be amazed and enjoy learning something new. So, here I was sitting here alone in my bed in the dark and quiet. I hear the clock ticking, cars fly by on the highway in the distance, an occasional annoying night flight on a pretty loud airplane or helicopter, birds who must have a nest of eggs or baby birds tweeting in the tree close to the house. I am just beginning to (for the millionth time) wish I lived in the country somewhere and not so close to the city. And out of nowhere my thought travel instead to the sheer beauty of the day, the pleasantness of the breeze, the feel of the sun as it burned me today, the beauty of our yard as we are landscaping and planting, the magnitude of my love for God and my family, the greatfulness I have of my callouses, knowing I can work hard for my family and for God. And I feel so very rich. I do not feel alone as I am in this big room. I feel rich and free and alive. God has freed me from my many sins- they are gone. My mind is clear and clean and at peace. I am joyful again. I am grateful and not selfish anymore. I am blessed to have my kids work alongside us now. ❤