Every journey is ultimately made alone, internal decisions determine our present and eternity. That is only enhanced when we choose to have a precious relationship with God our Heavenly Father. Also, we can choose to befriend whoever we will. Otherwise, we are alone and can make choices we think are best. If these friends love God too, the friendship is blessed and beautiful. And if the friends do not love God, they will be a source of discouragement for you and energy must be put into showing them how precious life is with God. Our choices matter and who we choose to spend time with and put energy into matters very much.😄❤
I am stepping out soon to go with some lady friends to the Fancy Flea, a flea market annual event in Plant City. This is stepping put of my comfort zone by socializing with women (I get along better with guys in general), leaving the kids at home (I always have them) and shopping (which I hate- no, detest). Why? Because I was asked by a friend and am seeing the need to be more sacrificial in my friendships. I have used the mostly valid excuse that my husband wants or needs me home, I have to take care of the kids, have to walk the dog, have a hundred things to do to maintain the house and garden, need to stay home and teach, run the kids all over, etc. I have done little to nothing with my friends. I want to have them to dinner, go places, have tea parties, but my husband hates company and I have made allowances for that since day 1. I guess my inner hostess is pushing up through all this submission, perhaps my pride has not all been conquered or perhaps the length of the unfairness has erupted my anger, I am not certain, or perhaps my desire to go home being ignored and cast aside for so long is infuriating my inner rebel.
All these culminate to allow me to go shopping with friends soon without children. We will see what happens but it is my first outing with girlfriends in years. And maybe I don’t need to go and shouldn’t, but maybe this small rebellion will keep me from going nuts with homesickness. I miss my family desperately. And when I have felt like this in my life, I make a way to visit. My hands feel tied and I am, inside myself, starting to wriggle. So I will be praying over this. I really don’t want my inner desires to ever take over my commitment to God and faithfulness to humbleness. I do want God to be first always and His will for me to be bigger than any will of my own. And that is what I need to focus on.
Sorry for rambling and this stream of consciousness, but I figured out my desire to go shopping (which I detest) with the girls and why I am conflicted about it. It is way deeper than I imagined. And thinking it through has helped me see why I may not go but why I may instead get out in nature alone and pray for greater endurance and humbleness. I don’t spend a dime (that I am short on adter 3 birthdays this month) doing this and will be better for it. I will get precious time alone in nature with God.
I have changed my plans for the best. Praise God!😄❤
When our fear is ramped, our eyes are on us, guaranteed. When our faith in God is ramped, our humble focus is on God, guaranteed. You cannot operate deep in faith in God and still be unable to function due to fear. It is impossible. Faith and focus on God is love and that drives fear away. There is no room for fear when you are operating in faith in God. It is impossible and you are not being truthful if you say otherwise. And we cannot overcome a lie with another lie, we must call it as it is and then we can fix it with humble faith and focus on God and be set free from fear. Knowing and admitting is half the battle. The second half is deciding to trust (act out your faith in) God and focus on Him.❤
To a significantly great extent, we are given the ability to choose to remember or forget. Now I realize that traumatic events take a great deal of time and forgiveness more than time to get to that place, but it is possible. I am proof of that. I remember what went down, but no longer remember smells or details or pain or sounds and yells. I chose to forgive long ago and more recently asked to forget and God granted me that to the extent a human mind can. We have to remember some or it may be repeated or help someone else somehow. Also, it becomes a beautifully remade scar filled with God’s diamond dust healing to give Him glory for healing us from it and making us prettier and humble.
But I really went down a rabbit hole there because I want us to all start practicing the remembrance of good things. In fact, I suggest we get a notebook or memo app and write down who and what kindness was done to us in our day. Thr smallest thing, the biggest thing. We can choose to remember. And then we can, at the end of the day, week, month, whatever, look at them and smile and thank God for those blessings. It may encourage you. You may see patterns. You may appreciate more. You may whine less. You may share the idea with someone else who seems down a lot. It may help them. Old fashioned people call that counting our blessings, but make that fresh and call it “choosing good” or “good things to remember” or something. Maybe post some good thing to lift someone’s face to God for a minute. Maybe change the world one good thing at a time.😄❤