Time with Daddy

Before my Daddy went to Heaven, I had a lot of invaluable time with him. It wasn’t invaluable because we had deeply wise discussions because he had dementia and gradually lost his memories, recent first and then past. What made it so special was that I got to see who he really was inside and his spirit. He loved Jesus. I know this because even when all his memories were gone, he still talked about Jesus and going to heaven and expressed great morality in his limited speech. And I got to see the pure base of love that God creates in a heart that loves and serves Him long term. It was beautiful. And in being so close to Daddy as his physical body diminished, I saw a renewing and resetting of his spirit, almost like he could see Jesus sometimes and I believe he could. And in my arms, he transitioned over and it was the biggest blessing of my life. I want to keep other older people company who are suck in bed to comfort them and learn and love on them. Older people are such an extreme blessing and what they teach us is worth more than gold. ❤

The Lighter Side of Life

Looking on the bright side, heaven is coming up on the horizon. And as dark and deceitful as this world can possibly get, that makes the light of truth in heaven that much brighter! And while Muslims expect their 72 virgins in paradise for killing a Christian or Jew, the reality is that murder unrepented of gets you a direct ticket to hell but the Christian and Messianic Jew goes straight to that heaven/paradise they were expecting where we are as pure as virgins and that is the sad ironic truth (sad for them, pretty amazing for us). Heaven is coming soon and even better, we have a secure, eternal relationship as adopted children of God Almighty!! Woo hoo! I can not stand the thought of people being lost, but everyone has their own choice to make and I am so happy to be on the winning, loving, peaceful, joyful side with Jesus Christ our Messiah. Oh how I love Him!!! ❤❤❤

The Sending of Flowers

So this morning, we ordered flowers to be sent to the funeral home for Grandpa’s funeral tomorrow. Money constraints do not allow us to go up for it so we sent flowers in our stead. There is something final in the sending of flowers but it is not without life for we sent the flowers in the form of a plant, which can live and be appreciated and enjoyed for years to come.there is something about cutting flowers that saddens my heart because they die, like another death. But a flower on a plant that has life and beauty continuing on is hopeful, pleasant, cheerful. And as Grandpa is in heaven now with my Daddy and Grandma (his wife) and his parents and siblings, there is life now. So in lieu of our life which could not attend, we sent the life of a flower. And that makes me as happy as I can be without being able to be there myself. We will miss you, Grandpa. We love you!

Fearless

When Jesus Christ is Lord of your life and you have accepted Him as your Savior, there is nothing to fear. There are things that hurt or kill, but even these things are temporary and what we have that is eternal is much much much much bigger and more important. We have a forever with God, the Loving One, all powerful, all knowing, perfect One. We have Heaven. We have a rebuilt eternal heaven and earth without sickness, tears, pain or death anymore. Fear comes when we are short sided or short faith ed and do not believe that or trust it to be true or when Jesus Christ is not your Savior. All of those are fixable with prayer, Bible reading and trusting God. Whatever happens in this world, it will end, probably sooner than later, and there is an eternity to look forward to. We cannot fathom how long that is. I am so glad I know how I will be spending it and I hope everyone can be saved and be there too someday. God help us all trust more and focus on the good eternal rather than bad temporary! Help us all, Lord. I love you!

Losing Grandpa to Heaven

As hard as it was to lose my Daddy four months ago, now my Grandpa (Edwin Metzler) has left this world and gone off to Heaven to join my Daddy and precious Grandma there. He was my last living on earth grandparent. And growing up, he was a missionaries kid in Africa and later in life a missionary to Arfrica with his wife and 3 girls. And when they retired from ministry to work and take care of their girls in the states, Grandpa was a math teacher for high school until he retired and then Derry college. What I remember best of gim, besides his relentless puns and incredible bass singing voice was his presence. He was rather aloof but I knew he loved us not because he said it much but because he was there. He and Daddy helped me move countless times. When we had programs or recitals, he was there with my Grandma. For every birthday party and holiday, he was there and we ate and played games most of the day. I remember he was always with us camping too and loved to swim. He didn’t say a lot that was serious, rather avoided seripus if he could, but when he did or when he was asked about the Bible or the Lord, he would stun you with his understanding and insights. He lived to 87 years of age and passed into Heaven a few hours ago. I am not mushy with tears like I was with daddy, but have shed some tears, but I feel the loss for sure, but I know that Heaven is now.being inundated with jokes and beautiful bass singing now and Daddy probably put him to work immediately in the choir and that makes me smile. At least I have Heaven to look forward to and being with Jesus most and my family. Many are there now along with my daughter. Looking forward to seeing them again when Jesus comes back for us. In the meanwhile, I will spend tomorrow afternoon with my mom remembering Grandpa and appreciating his spectacular life and ministry and jokes and presence. Thank God I had him in my life up til now!

The Song of Missing

Daddy, I watched you go. You waited for me. I cared for you as you suffered, unable to care for yourself for two years. I helped keep you at ho e as long as possible, where you most wanted to be with your family. You came here. God sent you down because He knew you needed me to love you out. God knew my arms were the ones you needed around you to take care of you as the stroke and dementia took control of your life. Hardest decision of my life was when we finally had to put you in a nursing home. It felt like giving up but we could not do it all day and night every day and night anymore and my husband kids needed me too. I got lost for a while in the constancy, then I got lost in the feeling of giving up. I know it was the best choice as staff was always there and it was such a good place. But watching your mind go was so hard, Daddy, my Pilar of strength, my hero, my protector and Champion. I was your girl always and I miss you so much. Daddy, I know you are enjoying heaven and I am so happy you are whole and with Jesus. You have no frustration over being stuck in a bed. You are free and running. You no longer have the loss of your amazing singing voice. You are singing songs now better than anyone else up there. You are home in Heaven with Jesus. I sang you there and held you out. What a blessing you were to me all my life, Daddy. Thank you, God, for giving me the best Daddy in the world. I know Jesus is coming soon and I will see him when you decide it is time. I am so full of life and love and am as hopeful about life as full of tears streaming down my face. You are good, God. You were so good to me to give me as long as you did with the best Daddy in the world. Thank you.

The Strength Inheritance

God blessed my Daddy with an exorbitant strength, of will, body and mind. He had an uncanny to eye up a situation immediately and know exactly what was called for and fill the need, whether it was spiritual or physical or mechanical, whatever. God provided him with this as his gift and developed it through years of experiences and opportunities to use and grow it. It was incredible. You could feel him enter the room and he was short but the largest thing in the room. And I learned later that this was not just his own strength but his faith and trust that God would work through Him and provide whatever was needed that he didn’t have. That, my friends, is the greatest power we can possess. And when my Daddy went to be with Jesus in Heaven, he passed that strength to me. I can feel it. It must have been his prayer, knowing I would need it to heal from my great loss of him and everything else that happens in life. And I see that gift as sacred and use it every chance I can. I know that if help is needed, I can provide that either myself or more importantly from God. What is ever the worst that can happen? We die trying and go to Heaven? Doesn’t sound so bad really, so I am game for whatever is in my path to do. I think that is not just true of me but of every single Christian that truly lives for and loves God with all their heart, soul and strength, which should be all of us. Remember that we are on this earth to worship and serve and every time we help someone we are doing both of those. God always is with us to help us do it. Pretty fantastic life, even if there are bumps along the way. God is good!!!