Parental Mis-Perceptions

Hello. I am Coach Tonya now for our homeschool PE class. I coach 2nd and 3rd graders. They needed coaches and I had done it before, two years ago and loved it so volunteered. And I have already witnessed several mis-perceptions of parents. One was my own. I thought my daughter would not do well in sports because she prefers dolls and pretty pink things, and I was quite wrong. She is great and having and great time! Happy to be wrong. Another happened today when a parent dropped off the child and declared to the class that he was “shy”, to which he responded by acting shy (synonym of “fearful” to me in this context). The minute she was gone, I proceed treating him as if he was a bold leader (I am that way lol), and he was a great leader of the class and excelled and was outgoing. You see, people, and children much more quickly and easily, will rise to the level of the expectations of the leader/coach/parent. They will also fall to them. So always expect and declare good, positive things of your children or students. They will rise to them. Don’t carry your own limitations to them with your negative words or expectations. They are trying to learn and please and you must present positive values and expectations and words for them to aspire to. And they will. It is beautiful and exactly the way God wants and designed it to be. ❤

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The Best Man I Know

The best man I know is the one who passed his Y chromosome down to me. Scientific and not romantic is the approach to this thesis, because if I lay my emotions out there, I will cry and not be logical so I am speaking from the doctor part of me. It is my rational, lab coat on side that has served me well long before obtaining a degree. But I digress. Here is why my daddy was the best man in the world (no offence other really magnificent men I have had the privilege of knowing): 1. He was loyal to his wife and family. This is beyond mere faithfulness, hard enough to come by these days, I know. But he was loyal to our family, meaning that our family unit was defended valiantly against anything coming against it. He would defend us, any of us, to the death and I was completely and utterly safe within his care. He knew his strength and ability beyond any hesitation, and he was a boxing instructor and drill instructor in the Marines and a strong fatmer and an excellent marksman to boot, so he really could defend us and would successfully, I never ever doubted that. Since safety is such a great need for a little girl, I grew up safe and secure. That is amazing to this little girl. My daddy also gave up his ex and three daughters for my mom and our family (mom required that of him, we never would have). He never looked back but probably always silently struggled with that decision but never showed that. 2. Daddy provided for us. My mom was a housewife and my sister and I went to private Christian school because he wanted to provide us the best education possible. I am certain that is why he worked so very much overtime, to provide for us. He sacrificed his free time for our education and mom being able to not work outside the home, which she absolutely did not want to do. He provided protection and paid the bills and we never wanted for anything we needed and most of what we wanted. He provided well. 3. Daddy was a strong manly Christian. That should have been first but I believe this is why he was loyal and a great provided. He loved Jesus. He taught me how to be moral and love Jesus too. He was man enough and convicted enough to drag me to church every time the doors were open. We sang together in a family quartet in churches in the area. We sang in the church choir and for church musicals my dad volunteered to be in, despite his hard work and limited time. My dad knew that some things are more important than rest and often told me he would rest in heaven. He is resting now but I bet more likely he is singing for Jesus right now with his angelic voice. 4. He was my rock. Again, because he lived Jesus, I could always count on him. All my life he would ask if I needed anything. He helped me with anything I needed ever. So here is my short list of why daddy was the best man on earth. The world was better for his having been here and I am who I am largely because of him. Thank you, daddy. See you soon in hew reaver for I think Jesus will take us home soon. Love and miss you, daddy. ❤❤❤

Walking With My Son

This morning, my son started walking with me. At 7am. For 1.4 miles minimum. Awake. And this is a huge deal because he, like me, is a night owl and not a morning person. It took having children to change me and here he is changing now. I attribute a lot to the Naval Sea Cadets he is a part of and most of it to God’s answer to my prayers to help him grow into a godly man. I believe this is a strong step toward responsibility and health and being ready to serve and I am very proud of him. And he kept up with me, who has been walking all this time! And he is bigger than me now, so I want him to be humble in spirit and teachable. Praise God for providing the overcoming of this milestone into manhood, even a tad bit early. I am so thankful!! ❤

On Why Some People Choose Evil and Uncooperation

4 factors: 1. Level of Selfishness. 2. Level of Brokenness. 3. Level of Maturity. 4. Choice/Free Will.

Some people are just selfish and most are broken in some way. Our brokenness can be used as a stumbling block and/or excuse to do what you want for yourself to get your own way because it is all about you. Or. There is a better way. The brokenness can yield understanding and depth of character if one is humble enough and mature enough to learn the lesson and grow from it and grow close to God who can help. 

The first group of people will never change until they decide to. And if we need to protect ourselves or children from them, then we must. The second group of people are the most beautiful and intriguing people in the world. ❤

That’s it, I am Angry and I am Praying

It takes a lot to anger me. God has worked hard to “enhance my calm” and build up my peace and joy and I have always been laid back. When I get angry, however, it is a fire, a hurricane and fire. I get angry when defenseless people are wronged or bullied, when God is disrespected, when His people are targeted and attacked, and when one of our children is lost. One of them is, it became very clear to me last night upon seeing her after 6 months of blowing us off. So now it is very obvious to me that it is a spiritual matter and there is a fight on for her soul. And this pissed me off. The enemy is attacking my family and that does not fly with me! I am mad. And I will be fighting now until this wrong is made right. I will not allow my kids to be lost and suffer an eternity long. I will fight for her in the most powerful way there is. I am going to pray. Dilligently. I will reach out in love every chance I can but I will pray. Hard. Long. Diligently. I will pray while I quilt. I will fast. I will pray for her deceived soul. Never make me angry or I will pray tirelessly. I will call on the awesome and powerful God of the universe for help. I, in all my might, can only do so much. But allmighty God can do any and everything and can conquer spiritual forces. He is my strength. 

Never Without What I Need

God provides. There have been times I have gone without sleep, without food, without a home for a little bit, without friends, single, so many things, but these slight deprivation humbled me and taught me to rely on God and I am so very thankful. But I was never without God or what I needed. Those are all things. I needed love and God always loved me. When I sincerely needed food, God always provided that. When I needed a job, I got one. When I needed transportation, God got me a great deal by the time I really needed it. When I needed a break, God granted me a run through His nature and beauty to refresh my soul. God is a wonderful provider and I regret having to go through so many hardships to realize it and humble my haughty soul. But thank God He had the grace and extreme generosity to keep giving me the opportunity to learn that same lesson. God is loving and abounding in grace and even if He is all we have, we have everything we need. God is a good good Father and I am so humbly appreciative and celebrating that fact!! God is so so very good and I live Him. ❤

Mother’s Day Finery

So, we took my Mom out to Golden Corral for lunch last Sunday. It was her idea, because it was less crowded (no line) and she likes very few people around (lol) but likes their variety of foods, and one day is as good as the next to celebrate. And she has never been practical with money (learned that from Daddy lol), but she is practical with things like this. And she is right. What is an arbitrary day to celebrate something that is a part of who I am? Yeah, I know, not a romantic notion, but I am proud of my kids, I know I carried them for 9 hard sickly months each and gave birth without meds (rah!), and they are amazing people so I must have done all right so far despite it all. They both love God, love me and are doing great in school and life. Both are artists like me and both musicians now (piano first with theory then whatever they want). One is great at baseball and basketball now and one loves dance. I feel grateful for the opportunity to be these kids’ mommy. I always wanted to be a mommy and I am so thankful God blessed me with my own children. So one day out of the year to say, “Hey, you’re a mom” is kinda weird really. I am really not all that. I do the best I can but I have screwed up a lot and try not to but probably will again some other way. I fight the same balancing blended families act so many also work on. I try to keep everyone healthy but just got over being sick as a dog for not wearing a mask while scraping popcorn off a ceiling and sanding. In trying to make my kids more n independent, I always wonder if I and ignoring them too much. I teach them laid back and calm by exemplifying that mostly at home but teach them anger by erupting when driving surrounded by “idiot drivers”. So many things I do wrong. My kids see the best and the worst of me. But there is some good there, I hope. And in the end, I pray a lot and trust God will fill in for my deficiencies. And if they want to do something nice for me, that is nice but I would rather they obey. Lol Either way, I’ll take it and keep loving them the best way I can, as my mom did for us and her mom did for them and my Daddy’s mom did for them and my amazing Aunt did for them. I really had incredible role models of motherhood. I just hope the good parts carry forward. 🙂 Happy Mommy’s Day!!!!!!!! 🙂