Who I Am

I am out there, one of the most prominent characters in the room, emphasis on character. I am strong, large and in charge but enormously fun and funny (well, I think so) at the same time. I steal the show by walking into the room and never ever mean to. There is nothing introverted about me. More like, I am an extrovert’s extrovert, competitive and enthusiastically energetic, not the cheerleader type but the motivational speaker/ best boss you could ever have type, producing in a fun way. I say all this to tell you my natural bent. This is how I am without trying or lifting a finger to be so, my automatic woman, so to speak. But. Despite all this and my natural inclination to speak or do and win an answer or action, who I am is not really important. Not really. I do not want to be known for who I am and my title or status or accomplishments or natural ability to lead or musical ability or fantastic ability to love. Not anymore. Now, having matured in years and faith and closeness to God, I realize positively and unequivocally that I want people to know who God is. I do not matter except that God says I matter. I want people to see the qualities of God in me, the fruits of the Spirit, I want them to know who He is. I want this with all my heart. God is everything, the most important. I want simply to be known as His little girl, the weird one. ❤❤❤

The Truth About Gender

Life is very difficult. Life is very very difficult for children. The main reason is this: parents. We have a generation of parents with enough knowledge to have a firm opinion/bias but not enough to have an informed decision and certainly not enough to be sacrificial in their parenting to allow a child to blossom in love and care into their own individual. Children pushed into an identity will accept it often because they are children who need to be taught and who know little without proper training. Children (and I have a couple, taught many, and babysat even more in my life, so I am basing this on life) are born boys or girls. They, without any coaching, will act like boys or girls. They may be confused about how to open containers but never naturally confused about being a boy or girl. Unless their parents or teachers or important adults or peers in their lives confuse them and inflict a life of confusion on them. And I believe this is a spirit of confusion, an evil spirit that wants to destroy that person or as many as possible, a destructive spirit, not God. I believe this is a spiritual matter and not a physical or mental one. It seeks to take lives. These beautiful children are being attacked and those who truly love them will love them and encourage them in truth and love and more truth to see the amazing person God made them to be with amazing, unique gifts and talents. They are indeed born boys or girls and that is the gender they are, but gender is really just that. Men or women can live up to their full potential and and are made lovingly by God who loves them and wants to have a relationship with them and hold them through any storms of life and celebrate through every victory. This is the beautiful truth. How glorious the truth really is. God is truth. ❤❤❤

School with Shed and Fence

As a family project, we put up a shed and a fence and started a sidewalk (still working on that one). As many of my regular readers know, we homeschool our kids. And we took off a week of “regular” schooling to do these family projects of shed and fence. And we planned and measured and mixed and leveled and built and so on all together as a team/ a family. It was an amazing experience and I thought how wonderful it was for all of us to learn together and create and build. My kids learned so much more than a book can teach and they need to feel useful and nd learn these skills. So for your next family project, even if you keep it simple like changing a light bulb or fixing a leaky sink (we also had to do), involve your kids and show them how. You want them calling you to their home in the future at 3pm to bail them out? No way, you want them to be able to plan and think and do it themselves. This is how they learn. Plus it unites the family and brings a greater value to each member and the family team as a whole. 🙂

The Story of Beauty & The Ugly

Beauty was a sweet girl who loved who she was because she could run and play and pick wildflowers to give her mom or the neighbor lady. She would cook bread and take it to her grandma. She was so happy she could do these things and felt happy inside. No one told her she was beautiful but she was, with a unique beauty that left impressions on the heart. As Beauty got older, she went to school and met The Ugly. These were the “popular” people who told themselves they were beautiful all day long and told everyone else, including Beauty, that they were not beautiful because they were not The Ugly, a self-glorifying dictatorship of thugs who happened to have a lot of money. Beauty shook it off rhe best she could and excelled at school and helped other “not beautiful” people the best she could. Well, Beauty moved out of the house young after getting a job and she met her first boyfriend. She felt beautiful with him. He told her she was beautiful. Never mentioned her generous loving heart much, just emphasized her looks. Well, she believed him but became confused when he started calling her fat. Well, she tried to get skinnier and worked and went to school. Soon she found out he was telling another girl she was beautiful too. And immediately she saw the lie and was devastated. Beauty moved on eventually to a new boyfriend who also emphasized her looks at first and later started calling her Dat and hit her… once… and was lying to another girl. Beauty felt not beautiful as The Ugly had told her. And magazines Beauty picked up told her she needed to be skinnier and prettier and be wild in bed for men to like you. And they sounded like The Ugly tyrannical dictator thugs. And on TV and movies, Beauty saw all the girls considered beautiful were stick figures and loose as possible with no morals and only care about appearance, not realizing they were airbrushed and often ill, and Beauty realized they were The Ugly also. And Beauty picked up her now dusty Bible and started to read. And Beauty realized that The Ugly were all wrong, every one of them, and that she was beautiful and that beauty had nothing to do with what she looked like. Beauty was made uniquely and purposefully by God, who made everything we know of and loves us each, is bit enough to be with each of us at the same time. God said being kind and gentle and loving and helpful and productive and sweet was true beauty and Beauty remembered that she was all those things initially so long ago. She cried with happiness that God who made her thought she was beautiful and suddenly, what The Ugly thought was the stupidest thing on earth, unworthy of future thought. So Beauty forgave them, forgave herself, forgave the bad men, forgave everyone and started living her amazingly beautiful life. True story.

Opinion versus Truth

Everyone has opinion, which are no more than our experiences and perspective of what is seen compared to our knowledge of truth and it’s application. That is it. Might be accurate compared to the truth and might not. The person holding or teeming their opinion may be adequately informed or not. The opinion pusher may be wise or not. It is highly dangerous to accept other’s opinions as fact, as truth. Truth on the other hand is always true, it is absolute, no matter what anyone says to the contrary. Starts are always shining in the sky. That is a truth. We cannot see them in the day because the sunlight is brighter or when it is cloudy to mask them, but they are up there still. God is in control. That is a truth. It may not look like it because of situational clouds that mask it or distractions that blind us but I assure you He is in control. The Bible is truth. Nothing in it has ever been proven false and man have they tried. So the words in it are true and can be trusted. Opinions not so much, and before accepting them as truth need to be weighed against truth. Otherwise, they become distractions at best and false truths in your mind at worst. And we must not let them have power over us unless proven true for that reason. Always question and think and study for yourself from proper sources that are proven true. It is impertinent to keep from incorporating or acting on false beliefs. We must be proactive with what we let into our minds and take to heart. ❤ 

This Purple Alien

As frustrating as humanity is, it is what we have to work with for now. One day I will be beamed back to my Father ship, but for now I am stranded on a beautiful planet surrounded by those either hostile or deeply restricted with a drizzle of authentic caring ones who don’t seem to mind my purple skin color. It is a jest-ic world, perhaps majestic many years back but now all is a jest it seems. This place is not suitable for those of us so different, and where it is up to the many, we purples would be captured and mocked and belittled for that which we are not able to control, our design. So I must focus my antennae on the Father in the Father ship for help and strength and sustenance. As it stands, I fit only with the other few sparsely placed purples. The blues, those who claim residency but cling to the angry and wild red world residents so live on the fence, are particularly harsh on us few purples because living like the Father makes them feel guilty and annoyed. The angry red world residents fight us or ignore us at will, depending upon their viewpoint and experiences. Some are intrigued but many are complaisant. So, again, frustrating this life is but it is where my feet are right now. And until the beautiful day I get to go back home, I must still complete the frustrating task set before me to help people know my Father and be beamed up to the Father ship later. And apparently quite often apart from the Father far away I am entirely alone in the struggle, unable to fit in, unable to be treated lovingly by anyone nearby, unable to have comforts of arms around, unable to be much acknowledged but able easily to be largely neglected. There is an inner fight against this despite my design. It is difficult, even purple, to not fight for human love. It is inhumane to defy human instincts and drives. Yet the purple ones must experience a solitary existence, a loneliness that can only be answered by the spiritual Father afar off it so often feels. It is a life for the humble only to survive, the bravest of souls, those capable of sacrifice no mortal could make to keep fighting without strength left and keep loving though largely unloved and keep touching though largely untouched. The absolute only way this can be done is through constant contact with the Father and living through the alien spirit form rather than the human form. There is no other way that any tasks can be accomplished, sometimes even just to breathe. So lonely the life of an alien. Rewarding to continue through the mission despite the loneliness and neglect. The Father understands. He is pretty much the only One who can truly understand and one of the very few who loves the purple alien I am.

It isn’t

I wrote this a long time ago when I was young and dumb but I saw something that may resonate:

I want to love so much.
I want to be loved so much.
I want to give what I can’t get… Ironic.
I have so much love to give.
God made me that way.
I have a tremendous heart for people.
That is such a gorgeous thing.
Too bad so few know me.
Too bad so few love me.
Who can really know anyone?
I think mysteries lie within every beating soul.
I believe people yearn to be known completely.
I believe people cry out for it yet fear it.
Behind each eye hides pain and fear and pride and hope.
Each heart can feel. Each eye can cry.
Each mind can laugh. Each skin can lie.
Within and without it all, one thing remains true.
God yearns for you.
He knows you. So help me, He knows me.
More than I or anyone could.
Pretend happens when we think anyone else does. Myth happens.
We want it to be true of another human being.
We want it to be true of us.
It isn’t.
I chased away a deception. I made it run away.
It was such a lovely deception.
I wish it were true. I wish it were true.
It isn’t.
It isn’t.
It isn’t.
It isn’t.
It isn’t.