Time is my primary love language, so I understand its importance in my life. If people love me, they spend time with me. If I love them, I spend time with them. It is unnatural to people who speak a different love language. Someone who primarily gives gifts thinks giving someone something or spending money on them says I love you, whereas someone who is set up for time thinks that is very nice but let’s go out or stay in together and that may not matter to the other person. There is a disconnect. But I digress, I want to focus on time for this thought process. Time to me is of the utmost importance. Primarily because it only lasts as long as it does and then is gone forever. You can not reclaim it. You can not unlive it. You can not return and correct it. You also can not speed it up or slow it down, though it feels like that sometimes. You have to take it for what it is. We are restricted by time. Time has great value. You can not with any amount buy more of it. You have what is allotted to you unless it is taken first. And that is it. A bleak thought but a meaningful one. Because. Each moment needs to count. Some moments, you wonder why you even exist. Other moments, you are certain the world would applaud if they saw you right then. Some moments can bring the greatest laughter of your life. Other moments leave you reliving its horror. Life is a mixed bag when it comes to time. But making moments as great and memorable as possible is a goal of mine for my children. It doesn’t always work, but I try to bring about as many joyful moments for them as possible to give them a coat rack to hang their coats on, stability in an uncertain world, loving thoughts amidst hate around them. Time is very fragile and should be captured in glorious memories as long as is possible. And every moment lived purposefully and beautifully is another that is won for security, for remembering when we need a lift, for attending to. Each opportunity to shine and serve should be taken, each kiss should be felt, each hug should be notated, not because we are taking inventory but because we want our memory libraries to look back on and feel proud, loved, happy, peaceful, etc. when we need them. I have friends who have died already, taken before their time, and many more with cancers of various types, fighting the battle to live. And they are my age. They say how valuable time is and how they took it for granted that they had more. And Lord willing they make it through and have many many more years with us. But their viewpoint has certainly changed. Time is fragile and thus so are we. We need to respect that moment each of us are living in the here and now. We should plan for the future but with a flexibility that still allows us to live each moment that arises and pay attention to opportunities to be who we were made to be. Then we can look at our time and be proud of those moments. And they matter, all of them. The silly is as important as the purposeful too, for silly helps sometimes.
I have friends with cancer, and it transformed their lives like a newborn baby does. My dear sister in law just walked into heaven today because of it. Lord rest her soul! Now that my mom has it, the big “c” word is more of a real change. Yes it is tiny now because they caught it early and yes a lumpectomy will hopefully remove it and make chemo and radiation unnecessary. All that may be true, but there are a myriad of doctor’s appointments and financial complications. Before someone close to you or you have it, you don’t realize how much doctors and surgeons and lab rats and hospitals get paid to save your life. They are reverse assassins- well paid saviors. Anyway, lots of changes ensue, almost overnight. And complications inevitably arise, like now an irregular ECG is delaying this necessarily soon surgery and we have to wait until a cardiologist who accepts her insurance can make time in his busy schedule and golf games to see her. So, the point amidst the ventings and ramblings is that cancer changes lives as fast as a newborn baby does, without the cuddles and cuteness. And all through these changes, I am taking them all in stride, why? Because I am a strong hero of some kind who doesn’t feel pain? Nope. Because I have some gift of superhuman strength? Well, kind of. It is because there is always every disaster, every problem, every battle this one thing. Hope. Hope is stronger than power, stronger than pain, stronger than suffering, stronger than chaos. It is the superhuman superpower given by the Holy Spirit to those who accept Christ as their Savior. It is the steady focus and gift of proper perspective and assurance that no matter what happens, I will be with God. And really, the other stuff and people matter, they do, but God matters most. He is in control. He is in charge. If He wants to heal, nothing wrong can live there. If faith is produced, healing happens if it is God’s will. And if God wants us, any of us anytime, to be home with Him, that is where we will be, tucked away in His love. Here we are also tucked away in His love. So there is no losing. There is success either way. Planning and changes must happen. But hope is always available to those who choose it