Hello. I am Coach Tonya now for our homeschool PE class. I coach 2nd and 3rd graders. They needed coaches and I had done it before, two years ago and loved it so volunteered. And I have already witnessed several mis-perceptions of parents. One was my own. I thought my daughter would not do well in sports because she prefers dolls and pretty pink things, and I was quite wrong. She is great and having and great time! Happy to be wrong. Another happened today when a parent dropped off the child and declared to the class that he was “shy”, to which he responded by acting shy (synonym of “fearful” to me in this context). The minute she was gone, I proceed treating him as if he was a bold leader (I am that way lol), and he was a great leader of the class and excelled and was outgoing. You see, people, and children much more quickly and easily, will rise to the level of the expectations of the leader/coach/parent. They will also fall to them. So always expect and declare good, positive things of your children or students. They will rise to them. Don’t carry your own limitations to them with your negative words or expectations. They are trying to learn and please and you must present positive values and expectations and words for them to aspire to. And they will. It is beautiful and exactly the way God wants and designed it to be. ❤
So, as I am allowing someone else who wanted to play the piano in the church band, I was freed up with time. And never fitting in at all sitting in a congregation, I asked where there was a need. And I am in children’s ministry. So now I am a 2nd and 3rd grade Sunday School teacher and am starting up a children’s choir. This morning we sang one praise song just to get our feet wet in front of the congregation. It was fantastic. The kids did great and the people encouraged them a lot afterward. That is the best thing you can do for your children… lovingly encourage them doing well and I might add what most adults are afraid to do. So that was beautiful. And Wednesday we start choir practice for the Christmas musical. I am super excited. Kids are amazing, even now in the midst of difficulties we never had. It is such an honor to work with them and help lead and encourage them and get really good truth lyrics locked in their heads to help with bad times. How many times God reminded me of truth from a song from childhood. To allow another generation to have that same luxury and experience is fantastic. I am super excited God trusted me with that. He is so good! ❤
Today I taught a person how to make and use chords on the piano. Having played a long time and taught a long time, it is only natural to be able to help those who really need help. But I have taken it to heart that when teaching anything you are gifted at and passionate about, you have to also trickle down a little passion for your craft. There is a responsibility on the teacher to teach the love as well as the lesson. Music and art and nature loving are all one breath to my lungs and if just one person appreciates those because of my training, I feel everything is worth this. They recorded my gifts from God and are meant to be shared but so much more the spark in my eyes, also from God. There is no other explanation. God moves in such beautiful ways and helping others appreciate that is such a great feeling.
Generally, I have it all together and am the strongest person, at least internally, in the room. Not the best, not the prettiest, not the most talented, but the internally strongest and externally often. It is a gift God handed me down through my dad, not bragging just a factual gift. Since I lost the most important man in my life that I loved the most, I am now knee deep in weakness much of the time, never knowing when the tears will flow, not knowing when a laugh starts but turns suddenly to tears. It is a bizarre thing for one who truly understood her strength to turn into one that has no firm or consistent grasp of it. And let me tell you the ironic thing. I have heard it a million times where God says “In your weakness, I am strong.” To me, that had only been true in theory, in matters of the soul and Spirit, in moments of saying something to help them when they were weak. I have been injured but never floored weak before. And the saying is true. When I have been weakest, I have had a new strength rise up in me, largely because I feel genuinely weak and thus vulnerable. Vulnerability requires a great deal more faith and trust in God to handle things you face. You have to. But then, I have also experienced this weakness where I had no energy to pray and get refocused and then I just stayed weak and barely wanted to leave my bed. And other times that I forced my attention and focus to prayer and getting up and serving my kids or husband, I found that every time I attempted a step, it was met with enough strength for another. Then another. And this is the secret. So I find my strength renewed in an odd sort of seemingly wimpy but actually calling in the big guns spiritually way. And this is a new stronger strength than I have known, not dependent on my efforts and mental and physical prowess. It is based on God’s ability to pinch hit when I have a broken arm. Incredible lesson I wanted to share in case anyone needs hope and a handy secret weapon. You are most welcome. All good comes from God. 🙂
There are words I have, advice I would love to give someone, young women going through life who need answers. No one has asked me for snippets of wisdom about life. With a pretty bizarre wild ride through countries, states, boyfriends, husbands, children, work experience, Christian walk experience under my belt for the last 41 years, I have some insights. I am now going to share unrequested wisdom to anyone who wishes to seek wisdom from someone older in years or spiritual experience. Here goes.
You will go through difficult things. That is part of life. Why? Because you can not ever grow, see yourself better, realize your calling, realize your gifts, learn anything, understand life more, understand God more, appreciate blessings, realize significance of people and things or make memories unless you first go through difficult things. This is unequivocally the reason, so muscle up and figure it out. As soon as you have humbly accepted whichever of these possibilities brings your current difficulty and embrace that, it will magically disappear. Pridefully fight it and it will go on for years or decades and stunt your growth.
You will go through idiot men. That is part of life. Why? Because some men are idiots, selfish, narcissistic, proud, evil, callous, proud (no coincidence I said that one twice) or non-Christian. And also, you may be no picnic either sometimes (no offense) and may suffer one or more of those same maladies. We often start to date men before we are ready to because of pressure from said hormone driven men, hormone driven us, society at large, some foolish parents, or “friends”. When searching for a man, you will certainly find one for there are many. However, when you are disappointed by their performance in living up to “Prince Charming” (thanks, Disney- you suck), bare in mind that you may have been seeking out someone not ready to be a man yet or your expectations may not have been realistic in general. Our happiness must and I say MUST come from within us and our peace and joy with God or it will never show up, especially with the distraction of a human man.
You will not always know what to do. That is part of life. Why? Because humanistic philosophy dictates we are the greatest wisdom we can find and they are idiots. God made us. Let that sink in a moment and breathe it in. Because He made us and everything we know about, He is smarter than we are. He knows this is true. It is a fact. Sometimes, well pretty often, He allows you to be humbled into realizing this truth and get your perspective right. He will actually provide the answers when you humbly ask Him to. It’s whacky, I know, but it is absolute fact. Truth is often whacky.
You do not have to be SuperWoman. I was such a SuperWoman for a time. It is incredibly impossible to maintain that level of energy through time- to work, be wife, be mother, be student, be church member, be friend, be clean, be organized, manage well, be baker, be chef, be dishwasher, be teacher, be everything to everyone without ever breaking a sweat or saying no or any evil thing. It. Is. Impossible. To. Maintain. So, you do what you can do comfortably without pulling your hair out and leave the rest in someone else’s hands (delegate) or in God’s. Rest in Him. Find time to be who He made you to be, doing the gifts He gave you (what you love and are good at). That is good enough. In fact, that is fabulous. There is nothing that invokes confidence and pride more than doing what you were designed to do, not what people “expect” you to do. If they expect that, let them do it. 🙂
There is more, but I have to go sleep now. I will continue with my unrequested wisdom, despite again being unasked to do so. It is a God-given mandate for me to mentor and I have to believe someone needs to hear these words and may benefit from them. 🙂