Not Famous But Effective

I grew up on stage. I knew I belonged there, and I understand how few people that is true of. The thing is, many people want to do big things, important things, things people notice and are glorifying you for. It is nice to have that affirmation, to feel important, to feel known. But the men in my life, with the exception of my daddy, have always made me feel low, humbled me, dishonored me, made me feel important only when they need something, made me feel stupid and unworthy in some way, like a screw up unless I waited on them hand and foot and bowed to their wishes and whims. Yes, there are two sides to every coin and I have been partially responsible in my choices and discontentment and pride or whatever. So I have god to the Lord for guidance and love and here was my lesson from Him… “Please me, be effective, I am pleased and love you. I don’t need you famous, I am the famous One of Israel. I need you to obey and worship and pray with the faith I gave you. I will take care of you always, providing what you need. I love you.” And there it is. My decisions may have screwed up many talents I should be using for God, but the Great Physician heals and restores and as my Heavenly Father also provides and really really loves. He is pleased as I obey, as I am pleased as my kids obey. He is pleased when I do my best for Him like I am pleased when my kids do their best for me or God. Effective is the key and famous is respectfully reserved for God. ❤❤❤

The Pantry is Complete!

We have a butler’s pantry! We have worked on it for months, having planned it and saved up for years and here it is!! The marble backsplash took the most of it all. It was all our design for our needs and to use as a kitchen while we renovate ours soon. Back porch screened in is first. It felt at first like a lot of money to spend but as we used one good handyman/jack of all trades and did the rest ourselves, it was mostly supplies and relatively little labor. We are doing all our projects that way. God gave us the health, strength and ability to to it so we can save and do more for the Lord while we work. God always gets first dibs and I know that is why He blesses us. God is so good!!! 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ 

Original Plans vs Now

The decisions we make change our present and our future. Imagine how different our lives would be if we never made that bad decision or stuck to our original plans or said no to that costly detour or any myriad of decision changes or detour options. I wonder about this. I believe I would be a physician and probably run an inter-city free clinic with a huge family full of foster kids and adopted kids. This was my dream before men detoured me (my fault, not theirs- don’t think me deceived now). But I think we all have a God-given plan that we can follow or not follow. So then, when we figure this all out from another place entirely at a later time, is it too late? Have we ruined it? Well, here is the answer I believe to be true. God looks at the heart. Our heart can get off course but it can also humbly obey and thus be beautiful to Him. And wherever we end up, our heart is still His focus. Do you love me now? Do you want to obey now? Are you humble and worshipping now? If so, God will give you a new vision, goal, dream, purpose that will help His people or worship Him. And we must ask forgiveness and move forward in obedience. God is way bigger than you having one chance to get it right or He’s finished with you. There is only one way to be saved eternally through Jesus, but everything else is flexible. God can use what you have gone through for a new, richer, deeper purpose. Don’t beat yourself up. God sure doesn’t. When you and forgiveness, it is now invisible, gone, ancient history. Be His child now. Right now, humbly worship Him, pray, read your Bible, His Word. Obey. Right where you are, be a light for Him and love people. The now matters a million times more than the past, as long as you have humbly asked forgiveness and turned away from bad decisions. That is truth. Hope is now and future.❤

That Worth Forgetting

There are good memories that uplift and nurture the mind, bring true history to mind that encourages. Then there are memories worth forgetting. Easier said than done but here is what worked for me. I forgive. I tell God I freely forgive, even the unworthy, even the unrepentant, even the still doing it, even the crime, and then myself for not forgiving until now and whatever role I did play. And I tell this to God and give the rest of it to Him. Then I ask Him to help me forget the bad and remember only the good, may only be that He was with me through it, may be a lesson learned, may be some good was there too. And then I let God help me forget by not trying to remember any bad. I let go of it. I visualize giving it to God. Visualization is huge for me because I am so visual. But we’re I auditory, I would say it. And there it is. The bad things will weigh down your soul and can be a stumbling block or build to a stronghold and you can stop that from happening with God’s help. He is way bigger than the badness. And He has already won the war! Hold on to Jesus. Lean in. Hold Him tight. ❤

The Goal of Smallness

By smallness, I do not mean the size of physical form. Just to get that right from the start. The one good thing about evil being so dominant in the fake news entertainment (as there are few and far between true journalists anymore but I digress) or anti-social media or entertainment media is that whatever they are saying, the opposite is true. If they say he did, you can bet he didn’t. If they say families are healthy without a mom and dad, you can bet they are unhealthy. If they say follow your heart, follow your head because your heart is the most easily tricked. If they say true, it is a lie. It is so laughably predictable with all the evil/lie prevalence around us. So if the world says your goal should be to get rich and powerful and popular and well known, you can bet my goal is to get smaller, meaning humble. If man is god, mine isn’t, I’ll stick to God being God. So look with these truth eyes and invert every line you are given and you will be closer to the truth than you imagined. ☺

The Key to Success

About a million books are written on this topic, so many that I roll my eyes when I see another one. And my method may not work for everyone because everyone is so different, but for me this works. Firstly, my qualifications: I came from a humble farming family in a small town in the Midwest with an abusive sibling, a neglectful parent, and moved out of the house at 16 years of age. An with all that history, I supported myself fully since moving out, paying my own way with a car and full time job and finished full time college to arrive at a doctorate, opened and operated my own private practice and have two really good kids, a good husband and beautiful home in a nice neighborhood, have written and published 4 books, have written and published songs, sang and played piano in bands for large audiences, and more. Now a lot of this is what people consider success and by most standards, I am very successful, rags to riches sort of thing. So I know something of success. But the more I have seen of it, the more convinced I am that the bulk of my success has nothing to do with my own strong will and work ethic and everything to do with my moments of humility where I let God take care of me. I am strong and confident and resourceful but God is all that and about a billion times more in every way. God knows everything and provides more and with love than we can. And my greatest success in my life came when I humbly crumbled in His arms and begged His help. And He provides substantially every single time you ask him to as your goal is to be closer to Him and not just get rich. See, the humble part is the biggest part but the other important part is your motivation for success. I want to please God and serve Him. That is it. I want that more than I want stuff, even nice stuff. That is real success: humble spirit of prayer and wanting to please God. That, my friends, is true success. The other stuff can get pretty distracting from true success. And true success is the only kind that yields eternal rewards. And that is what makes it true. ❤

Ups After Downs

There is a quandary about life. There is this law in physics that what goes up must come down. And I believe that carries over to be true in our lives also. We have highs and lows in life with varying extremes of each intermingled. One moment I was happy my parents moved to Florida and the next thing I know Daddy had a massive stroke and started a slow descent until he died, and while that was happening mom broke her hip and I instantly became caregiver to both parents while in two bands with practices, two kids to care for and homeschool, a husband unhappy with my frequent necessity to care for someone else’s household. Come to think of it, it is only the grace of God I survived at all. That was Really low. Then there are times like in an amazing relationship where you feel fully alive and happy and the best internally you have ever felt, where one kiss makes your whole body just glow, a huge up. And there are always ups and downs like this. No matter how you have managed to control everything and keep it calm to the public, there always dreamed ups and downs inside. We are comprised of a delicate yet durable blend of hormones and neurons and synaptic activity and glands and actions and reactions and chemical and magnetic and charged particles trying to stay balanced but sometimes needing not to be to work and so on. That is the physical and mechanical and emotional part of us. We also have a spiritual element that supercedes all of this. We have tugs and pulls of conscious, pride, moral conflicts, guilt, fatigue, wrestling against spiritual attacks, up moments of humble worship, down moments of losing battles with sin. There is no wonder we have ups and downs both physically, mentally and spiritually. The thing is that this all has a purpose. Sometimes it is to build our humility and dependence on God, sometimes it is to grow our flawed character into goodness, sometimes it is a test of character, sometimes it is to mature and deepen our wisdom or understanding. There is always a purpose for the ups and downs and to be truthful, some ups are as much a test as the downs. The key is to find the lesson or goodness, humbly acknowledge and correct yourself and move on with a teachable heart, “What’s next? Bring it on!” Then humbly pray. If you can stay humble the battle is half over before it starts. And God can take care of any and everything so stay close to Him, arming yourself with prayer and truth of God’s Word. And there you go, the recipe for success through the ups and downs of life. God and you got this!! No worries! ❤❤❤