I don’t usually add pictures to my blogs. I use Instagram to share pics and try to segment my life that way so it makes sense to me. But here we are on vacation and I was struck with the level of peace we are experiencing. Recovering from the loss of a few close people to us, we have been quite broken for quite some time. And here we are in St. Augustine and it feels like a healing balm has been placed all over us. God has blessed the vacation. I know I have beloved people praying for us. The effect and answer of tthose prayers is a peace. We have had great fun and experiences and just sheer enjoyment here. Ate at the best Italian restaurant ever (first pic), toured the downtown, went to the beach, played and the park, little things and time spent doing nothing. This has been a healing, enjoyable, blissful vacation and I and feeling more like my happy, strong and meld than I have in a very very long time. Praise God!!
Life is a treasure in and of itself. Sometimes there are treasures within the treasure we discover as we walk along this life’s journey. We also find urchins and snakes sometimes, but we will leave the bad guys to another day’s talk. We want to focus on the good and blessed. We may find a treasure God placed in our lives, one so precious that you know God intentionally placed it there for you. And you pick it up and carry it with you and thank God for this amazing gift of treasure He gave. Then some punk bully comes and steals your treasure out from under your nose. You are shocked then angry then horrified then just sad because this treasure was everything to you. What else could you have done to protect your treasure from this evil one? Could you have taken better care of it or built a better home for it to stay? And you sit and mourn and temporarily, the journey halted for the moments of contemplation and mourning such deep, unexpected loss. And while mourning the loss of your forever treasure, you look up for a moment and see a glimmer in the sand. Rushing over, you realize God had not intended your forever treasure to be stolen by the evil bully and has given you an extra beautiful treasure to hold and enjoy. Maybe one day the forever treasure will be returned or find its way back home to you, but even if not, He has provided an additional forever treasure to enjoy and care for. Why? Because He is our Heavenly Father and loves us so incredibly much! God’s great love inspires His gifts of treasure for us to care for. And His treasures to us are worth loving and appreciating and protecting and caring for. They are perfect treasures from our perfect Father. I am so thankful for my treasures, even the one stolen from me and definitely the new one formed. Amazing gifts from an amazing God.
God blessed me with an enormous heart capable of great love and this indomitable spirit that has been tested many many times but has gotten stronger, all by God’s grace. But I still screw up. I blow it completely. I say the wrong thing, am way too transparent (because I wish everyone else would be), say too much when I should leave it alone, will fight for those I love dearly, even if they don’t want me too and I love people with extraordinary and difficult lives because I relate and understand. I come on too strong sometimes. So, my screwing up capabilities are enormous and very very real and present. But underneath, I have a heart of solid gold and intentions to love and uplift and help and heal because God loves me and fills my heart up so big. So I am sorry when I screw up. I never mean to, it is never intentional. But there it is. I am a firm believer that God sees and knows my heart, everyone’s in fact. And I am so very thankful for that. I keep trying to do better with people.
This room has been my slumber center, my shut eye headquarters, and when Kathleen was newborn, my attempted sleep spot. My bedroom is my sanctuary, a child free zone (or so was the plan), a respite from noise and toys in the rest of the house. And it has served me well in this role. However, the medium dark antique green that adorned the walls felt as if the walls were starting to come in a bit and as pretty as the color was, change was desperately needed. So comes the choices, which color do you choose? I wanted peaceful, first and foremost, and cozy. I wanted that same feeling from the beach motel recently visited. But do you go sunny yellow or warm sand or water blue or even a soft orange? And for once in my life I did not tie in this room’s color with the rest of the house, in warm hues. I opted to refresh and change and sought a little welcomed advice and voila, Mystic Sea, a very light sea foam greenesque color with a hint of blue. Immediately, the room feels bigger, the ceiling higher, the peace and freshness of the beach is here. It is truly amazing what a change color makes. White or eggshell paint has no place in my home except maybe the trim. Love lives here, life, a story. I want to enjoyy my hhome,create a welcoming cozy atmosphere my kids and their kids will love coming home to. A home is colorful because we who live here are such as well and it should reflect us. So don’t be afraid to do something different. You can always repaint it, half the fun. 🙂 And a little paint is the best, easiest and most economical way to transform your home into an art piece. I am so glad for the change!
So, a vacation just happened to the beach. When you vacation with children, the youngest being 5, the rest of the family vacations really and this mom hopes for a few quiet moments to dig into the sand and plant herself there… for days. However, that usually doesn’t happen, so I satisfied myself as usual with making sure everyone else was having a good time and vacationing. So I thought about my ideal vacation. Get ready for something deep and profound. My ideal vacation is a day… at home… alone. I would take a few hours really, at least a half hour, 10 minutes even. And in this space of time without anyone wanting this, needing that, pulling me here, wanting to go there, talking, always talking, never ending the talking, etc. Because on vacations where everyone else is relaxing and I am working, when we leave I get back home not to relax but to unpack and clean up and put away and so on and get dinner because they forgot they ate an hour ago. So, whoever wishes me peace, this would come with some time off. That would revitalize me for a long time. Everyone needs to recharge their batteries the way they can do that best. We are all different. And I am happy to have had a great experience with my family but I’m exhausted. If you need me, I’ll be sleeping, exhausted from my “vacation”. lol (We had a lot of fun, I must say that 🙂
And forging up the dunes from the beach, our hearts wander deeply within our experiences to find a way to remember this calm day, this day we shared of peace and moments of joy. This day was calm and home. Fading smiled emerged as realizations were prompted by trudges onward back to the circus. And the clowns were still tastelessly swinging their jokes and bears were shamelessly begging for food while balancing on balls, jugglers juggling, acrobats working relentlessly on their form and every day looked just like the other, this sterile home deprived place in sand and dying grass. And you dread going back and are on the verge of drudgery and role acceptance and unbeknownst to you, a flicker of warm light hits your eye. And you remember that for a few hours you had gotten away to the beach. You still had the sun smell on your skin. You still had sand in your fip flops. And even if the rest of the the walk takes you down paths of redundancy or valleys of pain and discomfort, there are great momentous memories you can cling to and draw from and there are always hopes of return or hopes of future days like it and of course future plans after this life is over to better days forever with God. Hope comes in many wonderful shales and sizes.
My conclusion thought, after years of study and experience with people, patients, kids, family, elders, is that life is really best when it is lived simply. I hear from them and see how fragile the human condition is and how much we need family and good friends to rely on. It is true. I do not know how I would have survived or would survive now without my best friend. I am not sure I would want to see the person I would have become without my Grandmothers’ influence in my life. Friends and family are vital. Love also is imperative. But that one aspect of life very quickly becomes complex for seemingly no reason at all. And here is the rub. Other people do not usually embrace simplicity alongside you. So their crazy charges into your simple spaces. And bam! Just like that life is more complex than you would prefer. So, on this sea of life we steer our boats along, maybe it is worth a little complexity to be relatable and reachable for people rowing around us. After all, a little tide now and then gets you to shores yet unexplored so you can search for buried treasure and maybe save a lost soul now and then. And maybe if we work on simple with some complexities, we can be simply complex and happy. A lighter side of approachable with something sacred swelling. Perhaps the light of our eyes will bring joy to an unpolished traveller. Perhaps the ease of our touch will lift the spirits of those weighed down. Maybe that is okay after all.