The Art of Forgiving

Forgiving someone is only really easy if your emotions were not shredded or if you barely if at all trusted that person. If they were trusted or loved or were supposed to be trustworthy or love you, it can get complicated. Feelings were hurt, trust broken, lies were always involved, etc. This forgiving we must do (because God requires it of us) becomes more of an art.

I have learned this art of forgiving, forged after many disappointments in people I trusted, betrayals, losses, etc. Here it is… God has to help us. Seems simple? Too simple, like I am an idiot for saying so? On the contrary, pride is the real obstacle to forgiveness. Remembering humbly how many sins God forgave me for helps me forgive others, even the closest people to me. I can forgive someone who did anything to me because I have been forgiven of so many wrongs myself. And also, God assures us that we will be forgiven as we forgive others. That is pretty strong motivation. Realizing we are not perfect allows people to sin/make mistakes/hurt us. God says it is really God they are sinning against and He will repay them. But we are supposed to forgive and God will help when we call on Him. Then forgiveness frees you of the burden of carrying it around and reliving the pain over and over, giving you life and vitality as a reward. Forgiveness is an art and we need the Master Artist’s help to make it.❤

Forgiving is the Key to Being Forgiven

Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 were very clear. As we forgive others, we will be forgiven. So if we harbor unforgiveness, we put ourselves in harm’s way and put ourselves in bondage to our own sins. Pride is the culprit, yet again. Ego says they don’t deserve forgiveness. Even if that is true, when you make that judgment, you doom yourself to not bring forgiven by God, so they win twice- one by the offense and once by your pride keeping you from forgiving them. So forgive and they only hurt you once, you are forgiven your sins, and God will deal with them later. “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay.” Trust that and forgive. Let it go and you will have obeyed God, which brings blessings. It is freeing and feels great when you dump that baggage. And then you can be forgiven and closer to the Lord. Beautiful!😄❤

Forgive Now

If you wait ’til they deserve it or ask forgiveness, that robs you of precious time you could be full of peace and joy and it robs God of your full service and worship. It is also selfish and prideful to withhold forgiveness for it shows God you are not thankful for His gift of forgiveness grace. Forgive now. Right now. If you don’t feel you can, do it anyway and ask God for help as you do. This shows humbleness to God and obedience which He always honors. And He forgives us lavishly ONLY as we forgive others. Stop living in the painful past of wrongs done against us. Be grateful to God for all the blessings you may not have attended to by your unforgiveness and forgive now and live a beautiful life right now. Let it go. Stop trying to control something evil and keep sinning by not forgiving. Forgive now. It will make your life soooooo much sweeter and free. God will help as soon as you decide to do it and ask Him for help. Join the peace and joy life God intended. His grace is sufficient for all your needs.😄❤❤❤

Spouse or Family of Addicts Yields a Forgiveness Expert

One big thing about living with an addict, whether you are married to one or there is one or more in your family, you become a forgiveness expert. Now, this isn’t automatic. It took me a while to

1. be humble enough to admit that I was not perfect (when you see someone every day in addiction(s), you tend to compare and feel pretty holy and it takes maturity of humility to admit to not being perfect and thus forgiving. (It helped me a lot with this when a pastor said “Our comparison should never be against other people who are also flawed but against Jesus who is perfect, then we see the need for His grace”) and

2. Be mature enough to know that God will forgive my sins as I forgive those who sin against me and

3. Trust God enough to have control of the situation and yield my control of it,

4. Find comfort and strength in a strong relationship with God, and lastly

5. Realize that forgiveness does not mean enabling as long as they know where we stand and we maintain healthy boundaries (forgiveness is the earthly manifestation of grace which frees rather than enables – they carry obscene amounts of guilt continually and this frees them of more).

All these things needed to be in place for forgiveness to come easy to me. When you decide to stay with the addict, you decide to purposely stay with someone who has chosen to feed their own selfishness and narcissism based on lies and escapism over any real love for you. They decide to be Willoughby from Sense and Sensibility. They do love you in their way “but not enough” because of this sin sickness, this self-inflicted denial and escapism (escaping from pain or discomfort or trauma and God). It is humbling and to survive relying on God is paramount to success.

Know that it is always God’s desire to draw everyone close to Himself and so He rewards those who stay with those running from Him and who keep showing His love. He wants them back and appreciated you standing in the gap through prayer, Bible study and loving example of grace and forgiveness.

So we have the extra blessing of opportunities to forgive. As such, we are in a very good position to be rewarded richly by God and also to be able to help other people in the same position or less experienced at it. Anyway, God bless us, everyone. Much love to you on your journey. 😄❤

Sea of Forgetfulness

Our sins are thrown by our Heavenly Father into the sea of wilful forgetfulness as soon as we humbly ask Him to. This is the depth of the love of our loving God and thr power of Jesus’ sacrifice and His power to forget as well as forgive. And oh what a relief that is to be truly forgiven completely. Pure. Clean. It is gone. If you bring it up, that is the enemy or your own unforgiveness of yourself. How dare you feign higher standards than God. How dare you call a sin unforgiven that God has forgiven and forgotten! Do not play the enemy’s game that way. ❤