1. Admit and state the full insult/pain/hurt/trauma, etc. You have to have something valid and tangible to forgive. You can not forgive a feeling.
2. Realize why you were hurt by that and what false believes you had that made it an offense. For example, it hurt when he criticized my cooking because I believe the lie that I may not be a good cook or may not be loveable unless I cook well or whatever. Pain from an offense is a byproduct of something deeper. You have to address the deeper issue.
3. Pray and ask God to give you truth to expose and remove the lie and remove the specific pain from it.
4. Forgive yourself and the offender and whomever else you may have been holding a grudge against. If you need help, humbly ask God to help you.
5. Let it go and move on. Do something else. Your work is finished.
6. Repeat this process until no more offenses come to mind.
7. Rest and enjoy the peace God provides when we obey and when we allow Him to lighten our burdened heart. ❤ ❤ ❤
Some days can take you through many journeys within their span. Today I walked 2 miles, swept the porch, cleaned a room, nursed a daughter fighting a cold back to health, vacuumed, we killed a dead old bed (from too much jumping oy) and assembled a new trundle bed without instructions or hardware, a different we played tennis and swam, had two meals and preset the third to begin while we were swimming, prepared the songs for tomorrow, and now finally can work on the quilt. Busy day, feels like we lived two days in this day. Busy day. Many journeys. Many moods waded through also, my emotional family. So tomorrow will be a quiet day, church and rest and quilt. Balance is so important and I feel out of balance now so will rest tomorrow. I believe when you don’t get it right, we can get it right as soon as we decide we want to and tomorrow will be more balanced. God is so hood and allows redemption even in small things like overpopulation a day. 😄❤
As a big picture person, blame to me is rather a waste of time. However, being surrounded by detail oriented people, blame is a hot topic in this house. Whose fault is it? Who is to blame? To me, it happened, fix it. Try not to do it again. They love my forgiving nature (I just don’t major on the minors really lol) until I am to blame. Then I am the scum of the earth when I make a mess and must be reminded of it daily or hourly until something else happens more worth their attention. This is an Aquarian living with three Libras and a nearby Libra mom. Such is life, but I have learned a valuable lesson from this unfortunate circumstance. It is most often better to accept the blame immediately and clean it up the best I can than to instill my life philosophy of nonjudgment and full forgiveness upon those who struggle with that concept. In other words, it is better to be humble than to be correct. It is better to promote peace by any means necessary than to foster a stumbling block for someone else in my correctness. Lol Life is a pickle. No good if you suck on it but brilliant if you bite in. ❤
When there is a tryout for a team or job interview or broken relationship with someone you love or a broken friendship or whatever the case may be and you don’t get that affirmative call from the other person when the ball is in their court, sometimes they have a change of heart and realize their mistake but call too late. Either your number has changed or you have moved or your heart is decidedly alone or what have you. But restoration is God’s business and forgiveness is ours. We can and must forgive and move on. We must ask their forgiveness if we have access to them and ask God’s forgiveness also. God restores. He restores peace if unity is no longer possible but we must do our part and leave the rest in God’s capable, loving hands.
We who are saved are covered by the blood of Jesus. How it is supposed to work is that we are sinless because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ our Messiah the moment we humbly accept Him as our Savior. Then we ask Him to forgive our sins and poof, they are forgiven. God is very generous and full of grace. Then, we stay close to Him in humble prayer and Bible reading and worship and living and working for Him and His glory and direction. If we sin then, we go back to God and ask forgiveness. We are covered. Amazing grace!!! It is our job, though, to try not to sin, turn away from doing things that sadden the heart of our Heavenly Father. He gives us ready forgiveness but we need to do n our part. He sure is good to us and His eternal rewards are so worth it. ❤
Everyone knows me now knows I do not take offense at the criticism of others. I see every person’s comments as personal biased opinions for which there is a rigorous but unknown backstory. Someone may say something rude but they did not mean to be rude, they did not have another way to express their lack of energy at such a horrible day they had. Or the rude thing may reflect their upbringing and they think it is normal. Or their car broke down earlier and their frustration level is overflowing onto me. There is a reason and I love people enough to give them that benefit of the doubt. Now if I am victim of it habitually, I will pull them aside and talk to them and apologize for any offense I have given them. This does two things: breaks the ice in a humble way and makes their bad behavior realized. It may even help them get to the heaet of the matter. I mean, who doesn’t want to be apologized to? Who stays angry at someone being humble to you? So the key is to stay humble and not take things/words personally. For instance, I went out shopping, I noticed the weird phenomenon that I turned a lot of guys’ heads. I thought I must be having a good looking day and that’s nice. Then my husband tell me this dress makes me look fat. The old me would have either attacked him or cried, depending on the time of the month, but nope. Not today. Not anymore. I no longer take the offense. I consider the source, he was raised highly critical and thus criticism is normal conversation, in addition it is his strange, twisted way of trying to help me look my best. It is not nice but I no longer take offense. If I need a word of encouragement, I go to God or my best friend. So someone may pitch you something offensive with or without realizing it but it is up to me or you to take it, accept it from them or not. Don’t take it personally but just as if they were trying to give you a present of garbage, you can gracefully refuse to accept it and say “no thanks, not my size” or “no thanks, not true of me”. Stay humble, seek to understand and you may help them. Forgive them and you help you too. Love you. ❤
There are good memories that uplift and nurture the mind, bring true history to mind that encourages. Then there are memories worth forgetting. Easier said than done but here is what worked for me. I forgive. I tell God I freely forgive, even the unworthy, even the unrepentant, even the still doing it, even the crime, and then myself for not forgiving until now and whatever role I did play. And I tell this to God and give the rest of it to Him. Then I ask Him to help me forget the bad and remember only the good, may only be that He was with me through it, may be a lesson learned, may be some good was there too. And then I let God help me forget by not trying to remember any bad. I let go of it. I visualize giving it to God. Visualization is huge for me because I am so visual. But we’re I auditory, I would say it. And there it is. The bad things will weigh down your soul and can be a stumbling block or build to a stronghold and you can stop that from happening with God’s help. He is way bigger than the badness. And He has already won the war! Hold on to Jesus. Lean in. Hold Him tight. ❤