Finally Forgiven, Mostly Forgotten

Hard to do, forget. Not sure we always should as it warns not to do things that way again. So probably for the best, but sometimes we can forget a while and choose to decide not to remember. We can actively push it away until it becomes automatic. Of course there are triggers but we can choose to keep obsessing over it or send it packing. We choose this. Emotional people have more trouble getting to their choice through their emotion but the choice is there somewhere… dig til ya find it.

But today, I realized that I have finally forgiven a person and all persons involved in a past incident in my life. I am 100% at peace with it all, with them all. And the funny thing is that I really thought I was there already a couple of times before. I was not. I had said the words, thought the right thoughts but too much thinking about it remained, a desire to see what happened next, a will to know, a want to understand, a wish to see. Ever so faint but present nonetheless. And today, watching the grandbaby, seeing my kids in our home, hearing my husband practice guitar, thanking God for the blessings of my life, I thought nothing of this past experience. It would have been a passing caveat, a slight distraction of thought now and again, moreso after contemplation. My mind was finally quiet on the matter. Later, still quiet.

God works in different paces for different depths of pain. But if you keep humble and remain praying, especially if you can fast also, read your Bible, do what you know you should, don’t do what you shouldn’t, draw close to God, He will get you where you want to go in His timing and for your good.

All that being said, I am more ready today than ever for whatever God wants me to do. I am beyond the distraction. I am fully His. And my outlook is more His than it has ever been. And I praise God for doing what I could not do alone, as He has so many times. I owe Him everything and it is all His. I am so thankful. Praise God!!😄❤❤❤

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Pardon Me, Your Addiction is Showing

What is seriously odd about an addict is that they are the only one around them that realizes/ admits they have an addiction. Everyone around them already knows and either is playing along or gives them hell about it or anything in between. For instance, porn addicts leave trails of debris in their histories or how many visits on the cloud or Internet. Also, PIED is a pretty obvious indicator. And who really plays games that much, yes you are not fooling anyone but you. We are actually intelligent- surprise! Everyone knows. This is just one example.

Addicts think they are so smart because they have made a career or lying about it and covering for so long. It is obvious to those of us who have recovered from delusions and are reading truth/thr Bible every day. Does that make us better? Uh, no. We are not delusional. Just makes us aware. I believe people should realize that they are making a choice. Everyone knows. There is no secret or fantasy world that is successful to hide in. Just know that it is a choice to continue in an addiction and help is available all over the place, first in truth and then a million other places nowadays. Getting help is a choice. Hope is there always, the starting point to freedom is admitting what everyone else close to you already knows. No one is fooled. Time to admit it and stop the lie cycle. Hope is everywhere. Just say what we all know and seek truth and help. Those you love want you to get help and be free from that bondage. We already forgave you or would be gone. Forgiveness is prevalent with us and with God, and forgiving yourself is next to freedom. How amazing freedom is. Hope is there. Hope is everywhere.❤

Benefits of Being Married Long Term to an Addict

Many people believe there is only negative in being married to an addict (it does not matter the addiction of choice- they all look the same ugly in a spouse and are all rooted in false beliefs, lies, sin and pride). There are many advantages and blessings. Some are the following:

1. Being humbled every day allows a contrite heart to flourish. It is next to impossible to feel like the center of anyone’s life or attention who already has their addiction as the center. Yes, the downside is that often even God and obedience comes after the addiction, but I am showing the positive and it is true that you cannot help but be humble when married to an addict. This helps a lot when working on contrition with the Lord. And that is a hurdle to faith most people really struggle with.

2. You depend on and trust in God only and that is very healthy spiritually. You cannot depend on the addict often but you realize quickly (because of the contrition mentioned earlier) that you can always depend on and trust in God.

3. You love truth. You realize that the addict, although in denial with lies and false beliefs, is riddled with guilt and fear all the time and lies like they breathe. This is so obvious and lies upon lies gets old. So you love truth. I read my Bible all the time, loving every word, every truth it is. You truly appreciate truth more than most do.

4. You accept and learn to be content in God. You appreciate everything good in life, really appreciate every blessing, every kind word, every word of encouragement, every friend who sticks around, every prayer where you feel God there with you. You appreciate more. You are thankful for a home with air conditioning, transportation, food, all those blessings people take for granted. You are content with unimportance. You are happy with every blessing and know full well that God is enough every day, every time, every moment.

5. You develop a thick chin. You realize that what God says about you is the truth and are thankful for it. You realize the truth is not in the accusations and put downs and anger/rages that always accompany the adddictions because of their nature and guilt and fear. You realize that God lovingly made you and sleep alone for years or not, you are beautiful inside, God lovingly made and gifted you. You are incredibly beautiful because God’s glory shines through you. So beautiful!

6. Forgiveness comes easily. You have to forgive so much and are humbled and contrite that forgiveness comes super easily. You have to forgive to survive. You forgive because you love. And you forgive because God forgave you and you want to be forgiven and have your prayers answered.

7. Greater faith in God. You rely on God for every encouragement, every good thing, every solution to every abuse, every emotional anything, healing when stress is getting to you, every comfort when lonely, everything. This is invaluable in a walk with the Lord and makes us closer. And heaven will be so much more beautiful!

8. You show them God’s true love. When you stay with an addict, you have the chance to show them love. In fact, the act of staying married to the addict is the strongest show of love along with the forgiveness. Love is patient, kind, self-sacrificing, humble, real, truthful, joyful, peaceful, faithful (even if they are not), etc. We are responsible for how we love. And love is purely beautiful.

9. You are in obedience to God. God hates divorce and if it can possibly be avoided, it should be. There are many blessings and rewards for obedience to God.

I hope you understand better the blessings involved in being and staying married long term to an addict. No one is perfect except Jesus. Staying married is your choice I would say largely because of these blessings and love. And God’s love is the greatest force I know.❤

The Gift of Forgiveness

Forgiving someone who has wronged you, from the past or immediately, is an immense trifold gift. It is a gift to God who made you both. It is a gift to the person, even if they are not sorry or don’t realize it or care. (That is the one gift most people don’t want to give for they don’t often deserve it in their eyes, but remember that forgiveness is based on mercy which can only be given when undeserved and in addition is the basis of how we will be forgiven.) And the third gift is to yourself. Forgiveness is freeing and releases you from anger and bitterness, even stagnation and depression. So forgive someone today and give three gifts at a time. You benefit from each of these gifts and God’s kingdom does also. It is a win- win- win. And if you forgive one person everyday, soon you will clean that space in your brain up in no time and enlarge room for more joy and peace to reside.❤

Praying Over our Kids

Do not hesitate to pray over your kids. In fact, loving prayer is never a bad idea. Yesterday, my teenage son was hormonal and angry, being passive aggressive to my daughter and I, just not himself at all. I know he has some unforgiveness which shows up when hungry, tired and hormonal. We all have some demon or natural bent we fight. So I went up to him gently and laid hands on him and prayed. The result was immediate. He at first pulled away but as I kept pouring truth in love and gentleness over him, he softened and anger subsided and as I asked forgiveness for those who wronged him long ago, his anger subsided. Do not hesitate to touch and pray over your children. Who else will? It holds an eternal value.❤

Refusing to Get Offended

I am not sure exactly when it happened, but after most of my life having been inundated by criticism, always at home- by parents and sister first and later husbands- I drew close and deepened my relationship with God. First, I read my Bible every chance I got. Then later my heart softened and at Ling last humility became my constant companion and I was at long last able to humble my heart to pray and kneel to my God, the Almighty. Then I started the obedience of fasting once a week and that drew me closer to God even more. And somewhere on this journey with my Lord God, He revealed to me that His is the only opinion that matters and that He loved me and made me on purpose for Himself and His kingdom. And that, my friends, when you finally grasp that and hold it in your broken heart, frees you from anyone’s criticism. You are above that level of insecurity and immaturity and distraction and certainly those lies. And you realize that God’s encouragement and blessings far far outweigh any pathetic attempt to put you down. God is way bigger (to entirely understate the magnitude of that) than any evil coming against your soul for the Holy Spirit lives there now. So, I refuse to get offended now. My pride is not puffed up and I know the truth about God and the secret that He is in charge. What people say about or to me is discarded the second it does not line up with God’s Word about me. And I genuinely forgive them instantly, feel sorry for them not understanding that God loves them too, and then praying for them to get it. And here is my secret. You are welcome.😄❤

Eternity Time Perspective

It takes some people a lifetime to forgive themselves, much less other people. In stark contrast, it takes Jesus one second to forgive us when we humbly ask Him to. Us forever, Jesus one second. And even better than that, Jesus forgets it entirely. How cool is that?!?!❤