During the day, I am very busy. This is an extremely busy season of our lives. I keep busy, I have no choice. But at night, alone and quiet in my bed, the rest of the house asleep and dreaming sweet or weird dreams as they may. That is when my wondering happens. Right before dreams come to me, I have thoughts. I wonder about all kinds of things. Some are beautiful and good, magnificent and praiseworthy things. Some are dark and mysterious, bordering on temptations. And this is when I have to stop the turn made and double back to good again. I cannot do this on my own. The Holy Spirit in me is powerful enough to tame my rambling mind and kick out what was kicked out hundreds of times before and reverse direction to godly wonder. It is not for me to choose what to think about, it is for me to contritely obey God when He said to think about things that are good and honorable and praiseworthy. That was commanded. So I need to constantly check my thought wondering and especially at night when it is hardest, obey God with the powerful help of the Holy Spirit. He helps every time I really want Him to and convicts me when I don’t. What a gift He is!!❤❤❤
People try to balance right and wrong. As if doing more good than bad saves your eternal soul. This is a ridiculous, ludicrous notion and here is why. Who determines what is right and wrong and which is better and keeps tabs on which you do in what column? See the ridiculousness of it? It is laughable. Even if you get right and wrong from the truth of the Bible, there are sometimes extrenuous circumstances and that God searches the heart, intent and motivation as much as what we do. So who can be more right than wrong by those high standards? You see how flawed that thinking is?
What God calls us to is perfection. But what He means by that is complete and mature and balanced. He wants us saved by the blood and resurrection power of Christ Jesus, which is a free gift in response to a humble prayer for it. Then we are saved. No right and wrong balanced, we are saved and secure for eternity with Him as long as we keep our humble prayer for salvation our heart’s desire. And no strings are attached, it is our gift. The complete maturity and balance (of eternity thinking and now thinking) comes after that as we live our lives focused on Him, maturing, growing, learning and studying truth, serving, appreciating, worshipping, praying, etc. As we strive every minute, every day, every thought or goal to be a follower of Christ Jesus, we become more like Him and eventually take on His likeness and focus and perspective. That is the perfection God calls us to. He takes us as we are, loves us, blesses us with the free gift of salvation, then trains us to be so much more for n our benefit and His kingdom’s benefit. And this is His will for us all. He loves us that much! How amazing is that! How perfect is He!❤❤❤
Teenagers drum up drama in their heads. Their hormones lead them one way and their imaginations expound on that in a narcissistic way to produce drama after drama for the real world from their perspective. My daughter said it best, “He’s either nice or mean or sad all the time now.” Anout sums it up.
Some people never outgrow that level of dealing with the world. They remain in teenager hormone imagination land creating drama forever. My ex is like that. If there is no drama, he will invent some to be happy or contentedly unhappy rather. It is exhausting. Now he is getting back together with his crazy wife I thought we had been blessed to be done with. And this is going on and this is and blah blah blah. Neverending drama. And my stepdaughter is teeming with that same narcissistic teenage hormone imagination drama too. Just goes on and on. My mom also has this . I think it is an epidemic, like the plague or something.
Momma’s tired of drama. You know who else wants us to get off the crazy drama train? God does. He wants us to live in perfect peace and keep our mind stayed on Him. He wants us to be joyful always and pray continuously. This is His will forum in Christ Jesus. So, simple is better and eternity-with-God minded is the ticket there. We need to let go of being included in the drama and as fast as they want to drag us there is just as quickly as we turn back to our view of the cross and rolled away stone. And I am looking forward to Easter and will work on celebrating that excellent day all year long. That was pretty dramatic.😄❤
So, we took my Mom out to Golden Corral for lunch last Sunday. It was her idea, because it was less crowd (no line) and she likes very few people around (lol) but likes their variety of foods, and one day is as good as the next to celebrate. And she has never been practical with money (learned that from Daddy lol), but she is practical with things like this. And she is right. What is an arbitrary day to celebrate something that is a part of who I am? Yeah, I know, not a romantic notion, but I am proud of my kids, I know I carried them for 9 hard sickly months each and gave birth without meds (rah!), and they are amazing people so I must have done all right so far despite it all. They both love God, love me and are doing great in school and life. Both are artists like me and both musicians now (piano first with theory then whatever they want). One is great at baseball and basketball now and one loves dance. I feel grateful for the opportunity to be these kids’ mommy. I always wanted to be a mommy and I am so thankful God blessed me with my own children. So one day out of the year to say, “Hey, you’re a mom” is kinda weird really. I am really not all that. I do the best I can but I have screwed up a lot and try not to but probably will again some other way. I fight the same balancing blended families act so many also work on. I try to keep everyone healthy but just got over being sick as a dog for not wearing a mask while scraping popcorn off a ceiling and sanding. In trying to make my kids more n independent, I always wonder if I and ignoring them too much. I teach them laid back and calm by exemplifying that mostly at home but teach them anger by erupting when driving surrounded by “idiot drivers”. So many things I do wrong. My kids see the best and the worst of me. But there is some good there, I hope. And in the end, I pray a lot and trust God will fill in for my deficiencies. And if they want to do something nice for me, that is nice but I would rather they obey. Lol Either way, I’ll take it and keep loving them the best way I can, as my mom did for us and her mom did for them and my Daddy’s mom did for them and my amazing Aunt did for them. I really had incredible role models of motherhood. I just hope the good parts carry forward. 🙂 Happy Mommy’s Day!!!!!!!! 🙂
Motion is what we were built for. God made us to move. When we work in any way, we are validating our makeup and propogating health and balance. God even built within us the motivation to work and move, called endorphins that produce a natural high as a reward. We feel good doing what keeps us healthy. ❤
So, I am up for renewal of my Audiology license and every other year am forced with a smile to do 30 CEUs (continuing education units). I can only do 10 hours as day, so am forced to do them as such over a 3 day span to knock them out. It costs a heap of money and is intrusive but I understand why they exist… to make someone money and be a pain in the neck. But I also learn a tad bit. Being a doctor for 15 years, I know a little bit about my profession. I don’t know everything so it is a wee good in a skantish way. But anyway, I am plugging along, getting my first 10 finished and reported today. Two more days of this nonsense to go. Yippee. But as a bonus break because God loves me, we had an extra band practice tonight! Highlight of my study day for sure. We have the best band we have ever had and we are a great, positive family having a whole heap of fun and making the most amazing music together! It is a blessing and and half and I believe God put us together. No doubt in my mind. Thank you, God!❤
So, today, after the work and breakfast were over, and after catching up on house keeping (which my host mom used to call “domestic goddess duties”), I kidnapped my children to race over to the clubhouse and play pool. We made fun in the day. It could have been a long, cumbersome day. I could have just plowed through and accomplished everything. No, that is not what we did. That is not my legacy to my children. My kids will know that I balanced work and play, with equal fervor, while loving God out loud the whole while. And so we make fun happen. So important. Remember the fun. 😄❤