I am not sure exactly when it happened, but after most of my life having been inundated by criticism, always at home- by parents and sister first and later husbands- I drew close and deepened my relationship with God. First, I read my Bible every chance I got. Then later my heart softened and at Ling last humility became my constant companion and I was at long last able to humble my heart to pray and kneel to my God, the Almighty. Then I started the obedience of fasting once a week and that drew me closer to God even more. And somewhere on this journey with my Lord God, He revealed to me that His is the only opinion that matters and that He loved me and made me on purpose for Himself and His kingdom. And that, my friends, when you finally grasp that and hold it in your broken heart, frees you from anyone’s criticism. You are above that level of insecurity and immaturity and distraction and certainly those lies. And you realize that God’s encouragement and blessings far far outweigh any pathetic attempt to put you down. God is way bigger (to entirely understate the magnitude of that) than any evil coming against your soul for the Holy Spirit lives there now. So, I refuse to get offended now. My pride is not puffed up and I know the truth about God and the secret that He is in charge. What people say about or to me is discarded the second it does not line up with God’s Word about me. And I genuinely forgive them instantly, feel sorry for them not understanding that God loves them too, and then praying for them to get it. And here is my secret. You are welcome.😄❤
Any addiction you choose to put first in your life you chose. It is an illness that help is needed for, but it becomes an addiction to begin with by choice. The addict wants to escape the responsibility of reality by purposefully escaping into pornography, alcohol, drugs, overeating, overworking, not eating, whatever the drug of choice is. They choose this as their savior, their idol to enslave them. In doing so, they unwittingly choose a slavery lifestyle, to be dominated and controlled by the addiction, to life in perpetual guilt/conviction and shame, to be in hiding and lie continuously to cover it up.
This does not have to be the reality. God is way stronger than the ties that bind you to a false idol slavemaster. God is freedom. He only needs a humble, sincere prayer for help and He can and will provide a way out. There is a lot of help out there and with God as your helper, no slavemaster can rob you of His joy and peace and truth, which is the strength to rebuild and love you back to life.❤
Thinking about my life’s journey has been a repetitive occurrence of late. I have wanted to leave no stone unturned in confessing forgotten sins I have gotten away with or just have forgotten and maybe didn’t even realize at the time. And overall I believe my life has been like everyone else’s in that I have done really great things and have amazing memories and I have been pretty much scummy also at times. I have said beautiful words that have inspired and I have said careless words that have cut people to the quick. I have told the truth and I have lied. I believe this is everyone’s story with just the details different.
For my part, I am ashamed of the sins in my life and am truly sorry for them. And I wish I could go door to door and confess but I don’t know where all over the world some moved to or last names now or whatever so have to rely on God to help them forgive me.
But I praise God where He has given me grace and mercy. There is no sin too little or too great that His grace cannot cover it with His forgiveness and purify us with His blood. He is perfectly capable of restoring our souls where we are at our level. And He can and will restore our souls in heaven someday soon. And all the regrets and sadness of people lost and loneliness and hurt and every ugly thing will instantly be forgotten and us restored to full life in our incredible Jesus Christ. And that day is soon and I long for it for my family.
At the same time, I have sadness for those left behind. It will get harder, much harder, when that happens. And I want everyone to be saved, as God also wants every precious soul saved. He loves us oh so much.
So, I guess my thoughts on my past are really a distraction. I am made right by God through the sacrifice of Jesus and I have a job to do now. So onward I go and keep moving forward and someday it will be moving up. Praise God, everyone. Praise Him, friend. I thank Him for you and remind you how greatly you are loved and considered precious!❤
This was a gift sent to me from a good friend and sister and fellow mother. What a great reminder that we are never alone on our journey. We have the Lord and each other. Always remember and cherish and nurture that.❤
As I Fly through this life,
And the turbulence grows,
I know who holds up my wings.
For I once used to walk
And sluggishly climb
But God gave me the Spirit for my keeping.
And along now I fly
Through life’s high points and low
And I never run out of fuel
For even if I glide
For a little while
God raises me body and soul.
We are not alone
On this flight we are on
Even if it seems that we are.
No, God’s in control
When we ask Him to be
So we can have peace and just smile.❤
My heart is uptight today. Not enough sleep is probably the reason but it is always really more than that, isn’t it. And we washed and waxed the vans today and cleared off and swept the back patio in preparation to finally put flooring down. And I have lost more so am at minus 24 pounds now and look great. All these things and I should be happy. Much moreso, I have the deep underlying joy and peace from God in my spirit and that is always my constant. However, today I have anxt. I know why. Sometimes the frustrations of life buckle down in us, just fall in and create weight on our hearts. And I feel things moving in the spirit world, being much more sensitive to that as I draw closer to the Lord and deeper in His Word. And things are going on. The enemy is stepping up his game and God is, in answer to faith and prayer, stepping up His game and reminding said enemy who really owns everything. And here I am doing my little work and feeling it all. And sometimes ya just gotta feel it and keep working and doing your best and just pray more. And that is my job. And I will be faithful in that work. God bless you all. Hang in there! Love you, friend.❤
I have searched the world. I have met such a large diversity of unique people that I have loved all around the world. I have traveled and searched all over. Always looking. Always exploring. Always wondering what was next. I found I was searching for my identity, trying to see who I was like of my vast array of ingredients I am made of. Hungarian, French, English, Aboriginal American Indian, Swedish, German, Scotch- Irish, and much of my family living in Africa. Which part is me? Where do I fit in?
It struck me that I am unique. There is no one like me. No one that I am like. I am weird. And really, I am an exquisite coctail of all these brave and successful descendents but fully God’s special built me. And I fit in with Him and pretty much that is what really matters most. More than that I am loved deeply by Him, no matter what. So I don’t have to keep searching. There is no right fit. I am beautifully weird everywhere except in God’s arms.❤