Different Emphasis with Time

Being 40+, much of what I have focused on through life getting here did not really signify. Much would have no lasting value, no eternal component, just distraction and noise. Much I walked over or through very quickly should have been explored, deepened, much more time spent because of its eternal component. There is here and now which is survival for the moment and there is here and now which affects your eternity. As you mature, you realize this and plan the next steps more thoughtfully. Really getting this would have changed so much of my behavior and choices from then, which is theory and bears no relevance to the now. However, knowing this makes the now much more meaningful as an opportunity to put this valuable wisdom into practice. Think of the eternal before attempting to act or speak. ❤

Advertisements

Tennis & We

My son and I play tennis well. We both love playing, we talk while we play, it is great one on one time. Being 12 and having grown taller than I now, his blessed little hormones have started us all on a roller coaster ride of sorts, sometimes fun and sometimes very scary. Normally a good, steady boy, he now is mostly that but sometimes suspicious, contrary, volitile, interested, not interested, narcissistic, giving, sacrificial even, weepy, austere. It is intense because he is definitely my son and whereas my daughter inherited my fun living side, my son inherited my drive and ambition. Wowzers. BUT I have three tools in my pocket: 1. My fun loving side, 2. God and the knowledge that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and 3. Tennis. As long as I can play, we can still communicate and bond doing something. Oh, and I also have food. Never underestimate the power of food to a teenager. I know if he gets angry, I must feed him for he is just hormonal hangry. So thank you, God, for all your help and how uou made me and for tennis!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ 

Still Learning

I am still on a journey, still humbly teachable

I walk or run as need demands

I am still on this journey with those I love

Those who remain are purposeful.

I still journey on, no matter the weather

It all has a purpose.

On my journey, no matter the hostile environment

Faith reminds me God walks beside.

I am still on a journey of epic proportions

To heaven one day and here now.❤

Living With vs. Approving Of

Just because I tolerate a bad behavior does not mean I applaud it. Or does it? I have things I work on and so does he. If I let some things slide, am I admitting none of us are perfect and saying I love you anyway? Or am I condoning a sin that keeps him in bonage to it and thus being guilty of it as well? This moral dilemma, I believe, requires God’s wisdom and truth and God’s power and direction in order to know. Basically, I will do what I believe is best and listen all the while to the Holy Spirit to direct me to what God wants me to do. What else can any of us do? Only God knows how to save a person and only He can share what little we might be able to do to help. ❤

Standing Up for Children & the Elderly

Children and the elderly need us to defend them, support them. Hopefully the elderly have family to care for them but I have seen plenty who don’t. Hopefully children have loving parents to look out for them but often they don’t either. And sometimes the caregivers are there but are so narcissistic and lost in their own cares and addictions and agenda that children or elderly are not heard or cared for properly. We have a huge problem with end times “lovers of self and lovers of pleasure”. And in order to care for someone else properly, we need to love them which requires a certain amount of self-sacrifice. So, it is of great value to remember that the God who made us is also the God who knows what good or evil we do, who we serve, who we value and will reward or punish us based on those findings, for all eternity. And we have a finite opportunity to produce for ourselves infinite consequences, for better or worse. And children and the elderly who need us is our primary focus and objective. They cannot get through life successfully without our help. We must put them first.❤

Control Freaks

I gotta admit that in my previous life B.C. (before Christ) I was all about control, and not necessarily myself. I had about certain way I thought my life and those I loved and society at large should be and worked agressively to get there and live up to that expectation. I always tried to be good and moral as I was raised and wanted good for everyone, which is lovely, but tried to force everyone into how I thought it should be good. Strange, I know, but nonetheless, people will always do what they want or decide to do no matter how much you want them to do something else. Porn addicts will remain so until they decide not to be controlled by those evil urges anymore. Alcoholics will continue to drink until they decide not to be controlled by that evil (for them) substance anymore. Same with drug addicts or workaholics or food addicts, etc. No one can control another person. At least not for long. Nor is it healthy. Unless it is their decision, they will keep doing it. Real/God’s love and gentleness may pull them out or at least get them to listen but they still have to make the choice. They may respect you enough to not do it in front of you or become or attempt to become sneaker about it but they will keep doing it. It is their own attempt at control, which is ironic and the lie because they are actually giving up control to the thing addicted to. They want control and have accepted the lie as truth that the addiction gets them there. It never ever ever ever will. In fact, it keeps them from a deep bond with God who loves them no matter what and is actually strong enough and willing to help. So stop trying to control or change anyone but yourself and just accept them as they are and heap love on them or decide to reject their behavior and leave. Quit whining and make a decision and do it. I control very little except myself internally and even that I defer to God most of the time. And I am content, at peace, full of joy. Yes, I am very tired often for being second to a disgusting addiction, going with unmet needs often, and if I think fleshly and emotionally, I can become despondent and forlorn. But in my Spirit, as I read my Bible and pray and keep giving everything to God, He continues to comfort me and love me and provide. God is that big and loving. What a great comfort that is!!!! ❤ 

Something About the Night

There’s something about the night

About being alone in a bed

That throws loneliness at your feet

And drowns the laughter.

There is something about the night

Alone and cold and stark

That I should be happy about

But it still always feels a struggle.

There is something about the night

That weighs heavy on my heart

Of feeling unloved, unwanted

Of cuddling up alone.

But with God, there is no night.

He lights it with His calm.

The day is always there with Him

The night must flee it’s course.

So I cling to God in the night.

He pampers my soul and spirit.

The flesh may always burn with want

But my soul and spirit are free

Of the great pain of the night.

So to God I put all my trust.

And I will choose to listen

To the voice of peace and reason

And God will bring me comfort.❤