Today, I was socially cautious and ambiguous in a crowd! We had our first 4-H meeting today and lots of people were there and I sat back and watched and listened quietly. This excites me very much because usually in my haste to make friends, I frighten people and talk too much, I radiate the room, without meaning to. It is generally not good and generally gets me into trouble. Silence has been my goal, ambiguity. I want to be the fearless leader God made me to be but I am learning to temper that with wisdom and know when to speak and when to remain silent. That is the key. But Yay for little accomplishments. One must celebrate tiny victories along the way. 😄❤
I am so very honored to have a best friend of 40 years!! She has been my best friend since we were 3, and we went to church and school together. And we have been a short bike ride and we’ve been hundreds of miles apart from each other but it never takes but a prayer or voice on the phone or text to bring us right back to the running conversation. And we miss Jody, who used to be one of us, but we are thankful for each other. We have unique issues we pray over each other about. And we have sometimes been weak in our faith at different times and helped encourage each other in the truth. And I am eternally thankful to God for the blessing of her in my life. We needed each other and still do. God always provides. I am so very glad He does!!! Thank you, Shawn, for being the constant human in my life, best friend second only to Jesus! Love you!❤
So our grown son (from my husband’s previous marriage), the Marine and all around really great guy (maybe a tad biased), gave us the wham banger news that his wife of 4-ish years just left him for her ex-fiance of ancient past, the one who wouldn’t commit. Yep. We were going to visit them this week. Now, instead, he is moving alone out west to room with a Marine brother and a fresh start because he loves her sincerely and everything there is her. And I got to thinking. I had that happen in my ancient past… dumped for an unworthy ex after years of commitment and mutual love. And some people are a blessing in your life when they are there and some are are greater blessing when they go. It is impossible to say and realize that for about are year and that is are fact. Before a year is up, you only say it through clenched jaw. But how much worse to end up in many years with someone who hates you and has run you into the ground or stolen your freedom and identity and taken all your purpose to suit them and then threw you out or selfishly cheated. And like I was, he is blessed to start afresh and have us praying for him and encouraging him, and whatever God had for Him can be more apparent without someone half there and unsupportive. Nonetheless, as horrible as divorce is, sometimes you are forced to face it and change everything and that is never easy. So if you think of it, please pray for our son to find the path God wants Him now. God is the healer of hearts and Maker and Lifter of our heads. Thank you and God bless us, everyone!❤
In marriage, you have a lot of time to practice joy and peace. Happiness is direct reaction to circumstances so joy and peace are quite different as they are deep enough to keep you soundly whether or not your circumstances are favorable or heavy. And marriage is the constant bending of my will and bowing of my head in compromise. Ideally both are doing so but my responsibility is what I am doing. So bad day for spouse often would be bad day for me but as my relationship with God has deepened and grown and ripened, my joy and peace have sunk in to depths impenetrable by surface tremors. It is tested though some days, like today. It seems like the happier I come in from my devotion walk, the more the enemy will try through my husband to discourage me. And I have to remember that my fight is not against flesh and blood and certainly not against my husband who I am bonded with. And the more the attacks, the greater the joy and peace. And that boggles the mind but is because Jesus endured so much for us, for me too, out of His sheer love for us, so amazingly. And to have difficulty and yet not sin in it and go to Him with it and pray and give it to Him who is capable of understanding and powerful enough to dissolve it is to honor Him. And I want everything I do and say you honor Him. He is everything. So I practice my joy and peace and feel exceedingly blessed to be so greatly loved by my Heavenly Father, who happens to be the Creator of the universe and me and you.❤❤❤
1. Be observant. Wait a minute before you offer anything and see what they really need. Don’t ask outright or you will get a want and not a need and that only lasts momentarily, but see for yourself what is needed. Often this involves prayer and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance. Remember: providing a want lasts for a day but filling a need is much deeper and longer lasting.
2. Don’t answer their need by filling your own. This is huge. My mom always used to tell me “Men always comfort with sex”. I am not sure about always, but it certainly is tried often. But when someone needs a hug and to share space and tears with someone, sex is really not what they want or need and is getting something for you out of it. Just an example but as a same sex help, if you give chocolate when they need company, you are treating them with what would benefit you and not what they need or want. In essence, either scenario above is a distraction and the problem remains. Remember: to help someone, you must consider their needs and not yours.
3. God is invaluable in helping anyone. To help anyone without praying with them is futile and shallow and unwise and plain ridiculous. As if you have unlimited strength to give them. As if you are all knowing to see into their soul and determine who they need to forgive. God is. God does. Call on His help before you help at all with them. They will how closer to God when He helps them. They will know that all good things come from God, our Savior and Healer. Remember: Do not forger God as Healer, Wisdom, Love and Truth.
4. Touch them. I don’t mean touch them inappropriately but we are Jesus’ hands and feet and people need hugs and reassuring touches. Some more than others, but everyone needs some level of the security and reassurance that comes with touches and hugs. Remember: We are Jesus’ hands and feet.
5. Put them first and just love. The people who comforted me most when Daddy died and my best friend died to me and another friend died all at the same time were the friends and family who had plenty of other things to do but took time out to just not say anything but be in the room with me. My cousin Nicky gave us a place to stay and just loved on us. That meant the world to me. My best friend texted with me support when her van would not allow her to come over. Another friend far away phoned me. Friends here came over. I was in no condition to talk but they coexistence with me and just let me know I was loved and not alone in the world. That is huge when you lose three from a very small circle of loved ones. Just that someone still exists who loves you. You don’t usually have to say a word. Just exist with them. That is healing in of itself. Remember: just be with them and love them.❤
Staying close to God requires that you put the things that are not God down. You spend dedicated time with Him. You humbly pray. You read His Words, the Bible. You worship. You just chat. You stay close to God like you stay close to your best friend. But you have an advantage with God in that He is always with you, always available, living in your heart. ❤