Wednesday, we had Thanksgiving dinner with my mom and Thursday with my husband’s ex and daughter and family, so I could not fast on Wednesday, my normal day. So I fasted today. I could not discard a day of fasting and prayer for any holiday, even my favorite one. I wanted a day with closeness to Jesus to show my gratitude. How better to do it. And I would genuinely miss my time with Jesus. And since I began fasting on Wednesdays The beginning of September, I have found enormous growth in my goal of the closest walk/ relationship I can have with God on earth. I genuinely want to please God. And each day with Him without the distraction of food, needing to depend on Him for strength and satisfaction, I am wiser, stronger, more beautiful inside and closer to Jesus. My faith grows. I see His hand at work in answering prayers, I feel His glory around me and in me all the time now. I can sense His correction when I screw up and feel more tangibly that it is one easy step of one humble prayer to get back where I need to be. My space is cleaner, my thinking is purer, my desires are more in line with God’s desires. I really want everyone saved. I really want everyone to be raptured when that happens soon so they don’t have to go through a very difficult tribulation. I am more thankful. Colors are richer, textures have more depth. I have noticed these things since I started fasting weekly that have no other explanation. This leads me to declare that God blesses the obedience of weekly fasting with prayer. There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever. And I challenge you to do it too. If enough Christians do fast regularly, imagine what beautiful revival would emerge and so many would be saved. This needs to happen.❤
Herons are commonplace where I live, but I never tire of watching them. They are regal and appear almost breakable and elegant and yet stand unphased amongst alligators and snakes. And they are the most accurate fisherbirds. I can see why. I watch them fish. They stand keenly, quite still for a time duration that presses my impatient tendencies to the limit. How long will he wait? But he is studying, calculating in his little bird brain. He doesn’t want to put out effort for nothing, he wants a meal, wants it to count. So he waits for the perfect chance, the right position, the fish become quite comfortable in his presence, so long he waits to strike. But strike, he eventually does and to great effect. Great fisherbird. The king maybe. No great heroics like the osprey with his beautiful flying acrobatics. No prattle like the moorhen. No clumsy and really fun misses like the awkward but terribly fun pelican. No, the heron is in its own class. He knows he is the best fisherman around. He knows God made him that way. He is confident.
And here is my lesson from the heron. Two actually… 1. We are all made differently and methodical is effective or even more effective than jump in and see what happens. And 2. God pours confidence in His creation but the still accept it more. The heron waits and studies and grows more confident in the environment God made him for. Quietness in God’s presence builds confidence and success. Not because of us but because of Him. With God, I have confidence. The closer I am to Him in stillness, the less I have to say and the more confidence and success I have. ❤
There is an art to communication. I find it is easier for me to be silent and listen when one much wiser is speaking. When those without such wisdom speak, silence is difficult for me. I long to learn, want to be wiser, ask God for such things. And when He speaks to my mind or heart, I listen and learn. But God is not a one-sided relationship. He does not want us entirely silent. He wants us to praise and worship and serve and sing and speak. His Words. He longs for relationship with us. Yes, we are to listen. But then respond. And how you respond is where the proof or absence of wisdom will be. Strive for wisdom. ❤
Thr more time I spend with the precious and awesome Maker of the universe, several things become glaringly obvious and real. Here is my short list.
1. God’s epic grace is very very sweet. God is good at power under control. His love drives Him to perfectly graceful and gentle grace. God is gloriously graceful and the closer I get to Him (when I only in-my-face got it once I started praying with fasting weekly- on Wednesdays for me), the more real and beautiful He is. He is a gentle, careful Father and what immense grace He exhibits all the time.
2. God is holy. Holiness is only something God can do. Everyone else is not perfect and is ridiculously less powerful. When we are saved by the blood of Jesus, God sees us as holy. It is the only way we are saved and secure eternally. Not closed- minded as some less informed people claim. It is honest and truthful and the way it is. And it is a plan full of sweet grace as we were precious enough to Him to provide salvation to anyone who humbly asks Him. Amazing grace.
3. God is always right here. He is not there or busy or will be here later or just was once in the past. God is always right here. And He never is surprised, overwhelmed, late, hateful, unfair, uncaring. He is always here, loving, full of grace, beautiful. He is a humble prayer away at every moment. He cares. He can keep up with everyone simultaneously and not get tired or bored or exhausted.
That is a good short list and what I noticed as I grow closer to God and I have done so on a much greater scale once I started fasting. Praise God! He is so worthy of praise!❤❤❤
I recently saw the “love of my life” (at the time I thought so) in a recent picture someone had. He looked super skinny and old and I learned he had married a really controlling and harshly domineering woman. And at first I thought he got what he deserved for throwing me out for that thing. Then I thought better of that little dig. You see, what I did not realize at that time through my heavy tears was that God had bigger plans for me than to be a wife to a philandering man (found that out too).
Yes, at times my marriage is rough but I know I am with the man God wants me with until death separates us. And here, I can focus on my kids and my home and serve in church and help a lot of people and play great music in a band and working as a consulting doctor. And as such, I am using my talents. In addition, I have a great future vision of housing teenagers who are pregnant so they will keep their babies and not abort them. It is on my heart. And I have to wait for a while but I will work on that goal.
All this detail to say that God knows what He is doing when He puts people together and when He separates them. Do not regret anyone. Learn what you can and accept God’s plan for you. He truly knows best as certain as you breathe. So the one who rejected me was not meant for me. Just learn and don’t get too close too soon next time. Wait for God’s timing and confirmation.
My mom and I have had a lot of great moments and a lot of very strained moments all my life. When Daddy died, our relationship began to mend, mostly because we shared a mourning process. And I knew we are her only family here. And God has been working on my heart. Altogether, our relationship has become much more docile and close. And I am thankful for my mom. I know most people are thankful for their mom but I had abuses to overcome, to forgive. And with God’s help, we are healing. And I tell you all this because it is never too late to mend a heart. Never. God does not ever do “never”. I believe he sees the word as a dare. Lol But remember that our God is eternal and time means little to Him. So your “never” is comical and my “never” was just me lacking faith and believing lies and very comical. And God opened my eyes and allowed His love to pour into my heart and soul and mend its broken places. Again. It never gets old to Him and there is never too much attention to detail He heaps upon us in showing us personal love and healing for every layer of it. Do not give up. Give up your “never”.❤
So, today my daughter and I made a bunny family out of 3 socks, rice, rubber bands, ribbon and fabric markers. We live the Magyver craft project youtube hacks. Lol. So, I decided to do that rather than take a much needed nap after last night’s extremely late night. So, apparently I am better to my children than myself. And I am glad of that. Serving others makes me happy, serving myself rarely does. Like my dad always said, “I can rest in heaven.” So, hope your New Year is bringing you joy and peace so far. Don’t forget to thank God for getting us through another year. Maybe talk a bit more with Him also and maybe read thr Bible a bit today before the day is out. God bless and keep you. Trust Him (and pretty much no one else). Love to you. ❤