The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The good: Our band family had a great family gig today at the mall’s food court. There was singing, dancing, congo lines, great stuff. And my kids could come to it and have a blast and participate. They knew all the songs and played Morocco and egg shakers. It was a blast and I killed those congo songs, just saying. Pays to have gone through a reggae phase. Lol

The bad: Missed my friend today a lot and band family no longer with us. I wish there was a way for me to turn that off but for now, I feel it hard and do the best I can with God’s help.

The ugly: Got a bit lost on the way home and ended up very tired through Winter Haven. Oy. Must to printout my own directions and not rely on following someone. Lol 

But all in all, a tired but great day and gig. Glad to be home. Headed to the shower and then bed. Church tomorrow with my kids!!! I have a lot now… my two and the big bunch from church. Momma first and foremost. 😄❤

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In Memory of Family

We have lost family. I wanted to remember them. Here is to time together. We love you dearly still though you chose to leave us. May God bless you and keep you close to Him as we are not allowed to be. God is for you! You are always welcome. ❤

Missing Kat

Kat LaLonde, our Lost Daughter in Law

Wil Sepulveda Missing

Wil Sepulveda, Our Lost Drumming Brother

Feeling Blue

Today, as we had homeschool P.E. this morning and I coach and knew I in my old age would be exercising with young energetic kids for an hour and a half, used today as one of my 2 days off of walking 3.0-3.8 miles. The other is Sunday, so studying with kids keeps me focused on the Lord. But today, despite the celebration we put on for my daughter’s birthday, I fought feelings of blue. Why? And it just dawned on me as I put her to bed that I missed my intense alone time with God in the morning. I genuinely missed it. I missed Him. I wanted time with just Him. Time to just talk to and listen to Him, share life, worship, celebrate His creation, be strengthened, just be with Jesus and listen to His Holy Spirit. I was blue because I missed my Heavenly Daddy. So I am off to read His Words and talk to Him. May you do the same! Love you and wow, so does He!!❤❤❤

A Productive Day

Today, I missed him again. It didn’t cripple me this time but brought about a strong desire to be productive and live life extra deep, with intense meaning, realizing one less person is here to love me. So, I walked a double, played and sang with greater intensity in band practice, worked a little on tying the quilt, shopped for groceries faster, trimmed more jasmine in the backyard, cooked an amazing steak and potatoes for the fam, did the dishes right away, spent more time with the kids, spoke to help and encourage two friends, showered and feel amazing. Lots of other little things, but I feel honored that God got me over the hump to reflective productivity when I miss him. I was so blessed to have him as long as I did. Was sure good to be and feel loved. Missing will always be there somewhere until heaven but it is becoming a scar tattoo of Jesus. I am growing closer to Him and He is reflecting more in me. Jesus is my hope and love. Praise God!!!❤❤❤

The Best Man I Know

The best man I know is the one who passed his Y chromosome down to me. Scientific and not romantic is the approach to this thesis, because if I lay my emotions out there, I will cry and not be logical so I am speaking from the doctor part of me. It is my rational, lab coat on side that has served me well long before obtaining a degree. But I digress. Here is why my daddy was the best man in the world (no offence other really magnificent men I have had the privilege of knowing): 1. He was loyal to his wife and family. This is beyond mere faithfulness, hard enough to come by these days, I know. But he was loyal to our family, meaning that our family unit was defended valiantly against anything coming against it. He would defend us, any of us, to the death and I was completely and utterly safe within his care. He knew his strength and ability beyond any hesitation, and he was a boxing instructor and drill instructor in the Marines and a strong fatmer and an excellent marksman to boot, so he really could defend us and would successfully, I never ever doubted that. Since safety is such a great need for a little girl, I grew up safe and secure. That is amazing to this little girl. My daddy also gave up his ex and three daughters for my mom and our family (mom required that of him, we never would have). He never looked back but probably always silently struggled with that decision but never showed that. 2. Daddy provided for us. My mom was a housewife and my sister and I went to private Christian school because he wanted to provide us the best education possible. I am certain that is why he worked so very much overtime, to provide for us. He sacrificed his free time for our education and mom being able to not work outside the home, which she absolutely did not want to do. He provided protection and paid the bills and we never wanted for anything we needed and most of what we wanted. He provided well. 3. Daddy was a strong manly Christian. That should have been first but I believe this is why he was loyal and a great provided. He loved Jesus. He taught me how to be moral and love Jesus too. He was man enough and convicted enough to drag me to church every time the doors were open. We sang together in a family quartet in churches in the area. We sang in the church choir and for church musicals my dad volunteered to be in, despite his hard work and limited time. My dad knew that some things are more important than rest and often told me he would rest in heaven. He is resting now but I bet more likely he is singing for Jesus right now with his angelic voice. 4. He was my rock. Again, because he lived Jesus, I could always count on him. All my life he would ask if I needed anything. He helped me with anything I needed ever. So here is my short list of why daddy was the best man on earth. The world was better for his having been here and I am who I am largely because of him. Thank you, daddy. See you soon in hew reaver for I think Jesus will take us home soon. Love and miss you, daddy. ❤❤❤

Many Hours at the Pool

The biggest reward for cleaning mom’s house and taking care of her, other than the satisfaction that is present, is that her clubhouse has a huge pool and other grandparents have kids that swim there. So there we stayed for hours of fun at the pool. We are a golden tan now and are exhausted but these are the memories you hang your hat on. These are new good tech-free moments with family that make you feel amazing and you remember as the good times for when things get rough. God gave us good memories there with Grandma/my mom and with her pool. Thank you, God!❤❤❤

What Brings Great Joy

I wanted to pause from my quilting and just praise God from my heart for all the joys He has placed in my life. There are way too many to mention, but I need to give Him props and thank Him for a few that stand out. All my life I wanted to be a doctor (well since I was 9), and He fulfilled that passion for me. And as a professional woman, I wondered if I would be too old to have my own kids or adopt (both are beautiful and either would have sufficed) and He answered by allowing me to carry two beautiful babies. One I look forward to seeing in heaven, she would be 22 years old, maybe with children of her own by now, who knows but she will be my Heavenly blessing, as well as my twin brother and family up there already. Therefore, Heaven to be assured of and look forward to is a great blessing! The love of my life is a major blessing. I never thought I could love anyone so deeply and fully and know so well and click with so intrinsically. I didn’t think before meeting him that soulmates was a real thing. He has blessed my life. Of course also hurt me, so every good thing has its down side. I am blessed by growing up on a farm with a Christian family who took us to the best church. Oh how I loved that farm! Only another farmer can truly get that but the hard work was replete with rewards of bird in song, glimpses of foxes at play, skies that changed all the time, deer accepting you as a friend, dogs running with you in the field, the feel of dirt and long grasses, better than any bed, swinging on ropes to the rafters in the barn off straw bales, riding on the tractors or combine with Daddy, the smell of fresh air and taste of fresh vegetables. The list goes on. My spirit was the most free there outside on the farm. Mmmm. Let me just take that one in a minute. I have been blessed being able to homeschool our kids and have a husband supportive of that. What a difference it makes to spend time with your kids!!! I am blessed each time I sit down at the piano and can play anything I want to or write original songs. (My fantasy, ideal cabin has a piano, by the way. Lol) I am also blessed to do art, see art, teach art, just express myself, write, everything that shares passions and ideas with another person is beautiful. Anyway, I could go on all night, but this partial list is what God chooses to flood my heart with joy and peace and love and calm. Some blessings are worth thinking of and revisiting for better perspective and appreciation of life and God, and some are worth waiting for. ❤