Rebuilding Contemplations 2 Years Ago

2 Years ago, I lost my daddy. I lost the man that loved me most in the world and who was always there for me. I also lost a liar friend that swore love to me and my family and just rejected us and split. (All is forgiven and we still love you, just recapping my pain of 2 years ago.) I also lost a friend my age in a car accident suddenly at the same time. Two years ago, I was a mess, a pitiable disaster shell of a girl… broken to understate it. The strongest crumble hardest when broken.

Absolutely, that was a defining moment of my life. Absolutely, that completely impoverished soul of mine was the means of God finally breaking this pride in me down to ashes and rebuilding a humble me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me spiritually, in light of eternity. Because now, as I keep choosing God to be my strength and keep humbly close to Him, even living with frequent opposition and injustice, everything keeps me humble and closer to God.

And now I am strongest of my life because I am weakest and God is able to work through me. This, my friend, is beautiful. I am thankful for two years ago and reflect upon it thoughtfully and often. I still get emotional but it is always tempered with joy and peace now. If you are going through a lot now, take heart. Hope is in Jesus always and with love. Don’t be afraid to break for Him and He will rebuild you way better. God is so very good!!❤❤❤

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Sobering Thought

Today my second cousin passed away. She was a mom of two, husband of one and was only 51 years old. She had beat breast cancer and had been in remission for 7 plus years. All of a sudden, she got sick and it was all over her body and in two weeks she was gone. She was absolutely beautiful with a happy, cheerful disposition. I had hoped to see her again but will have to wait a bit now. It is sobering when someone close to you and close to your age dies. It is not the first time. We are never promised tomorrow, some hypothetical construct. We have today. We must make the most of it with that eternal perspective. We need to be ready and close to Jesus. There is no fear close to Him and no insecurity either. Stay close to God and kiss and love your loved ones as often as possible. Live today. Love today.❤

Pointing to Christ

It is easy to feel overwhelmed and angry at the evil all around us, even in our own homes. It is rampant, the devil is really upping his game because his time is so short. Jesus is coming soon. So when you see the evil mounting around and hear evil words vented at you in even your own home or all around it, remind yourself that this is pointing to Christ and His pending return. We are close enough to taste the wedding supper of the Lamb. We are right here. Jesus is close. And if you feel Him more distant, remember the enormous weight He is feeling at how many will be left behind to go through the tribulation. And stop for a moment thinking of just us and pray for people to wake up and be saved. We need to point others to Christ even as the end time signs are pointing to Him too. Use it as a reminder to keep praying. Someday, the difficulties of this world will be trumped by the rapture and being in Jesus’ presence. I am right with you focusing on that and praying and fasting until then. God bless us everyone.❤

Rehashing Days Passed

Thinking about my life’s journey has been a repetitive occurrence of late. I have wanted to leave no stone unturned in confessing forgotten sins I have gotten away with or just have forgotten and maybe didn’t even realize at the time. And overall I believe my life has been like everyone else’s in that I have done really great things and have amazing memories and I have been pretty much scummy also at times. I have said beautiful words that have inspired and I have said careless words that have cut people to the quick. I have told the truth and I have lied. I believe this is everyone’s story with just the details different.

For my part, I am ashamed of the sins in my life and am truly sorry for them. And I wish I could go door to door and confess but I don’t know where all over the world some moved to or last names now or whatever so have to rely on God to help them forgive me.

But I praise God where He has given me grace and mercy. There is no sin too little or too great that His grace cannot cover it with His forgiveness and purify us with His blood. He is perfectly capable of restoring our souls where we are at our level. And He can and will restore our souls in heaven someday soon. And all the regrets and sadness of people lost and loneliness and hurt and every ugly thing will instantly be forgotten and us restored to full life in our incredible Jesus Christ. And that day is soon and I long for it for my family.

At the same time, I have sadness for those left behind. It will get harder, much harder, when that happens. And I want everyone to be saved, as God also wants every precious soul saved. He loves us oh so much.

So, I guess my thoughts on my past are really a distraction. I am made right by God through the sacrifice of Jesus and I have a job to do now. So onward I go and keep moving forward and someday it will be moving up. Praise God, everyone. Praise Him, friend. I thank Him for you and remind you how greatly you are loved and considered precious!❤

Remembering Lessons from Daddy

Today was my Daddy’s birthday. I have been thinking of him a lot. I miss him. More than that, I wish my kids could have known him better. But I assembled a list of key facts and morality codes he lived by that will benefit them and anyone seeking wisdom.

1. Daddy always told the truth. He did not lie and detested lies. Yes, you have to face the consequences if you did something wrong but the consequences for lying are a slow death inside and misery along the way so far worse. Truth is always the right answer.

2. Daddy loved God, family and country in that order. No exceptions. Daddy would fight to the death for any of those and in that order. He was a junior high Sunday school teacher and church song leader, a faithful husband, great provider, loving father, and former Marine and lifelong farmer. This was proof, which you always provide when you believe in something.

4. Daddy was very generous and secretive about it. He loved anonymous gift giving and was quite sneaky about it. He saw more rewards for helping without notoriety or reward, knowing then that God gives greater eternal rewards in heaven. Pretty smart cookie.

5. Daddy saw black and white and had no time or patience for gray. It was right or wrong. Dismiss the wrong and live the right. No in betweens, no compromising the right ever.

6. Daddy loved nature. He tended his fields with a passion for their Maker and appreciated, knew and coaxed the soil and plants to perfection. He was an amazing farmer and loved nature.

7. Daddy sang like an angel. He was big and strong, had taught boxing in the service, ran and repaired heavy equipment, farmed, was tough as nails but always sang like an angel for Jesus. You use the gifts you were given. You just do.

8. Daddy put everyone first. God was first and foremost but everyone followed after. He never saw a stranger, picked up hitchhikers, helped countless people move, took great care of us and all our family members, helped out friends with car repairs, even after a double shift. If he could do it, he knew he should.

9. Daddy loved me unconditionally. He was the only one other than God. Yes, sometimes he disagreed with my choices, but he alway was there loving me, there for me, eager to provide for me, had my back. Always. My rock. My secure person.

10. Daddy was faithful to my mom. He is the only man I know of who has been. No porn, no cheating, turned off raunchy shows or even commercials, looked away at trashy dressed women, never even side glanced. He was faithful to her, even when she weighed over 300 pounds. Didn’t matter, that was his sweat heart and he loved her. Proved it.

So, I hope everyone sees the example of my daddy as one to follow as a human. Of course Jesus is a greater example, but daddy pretty good too. I am proud and honored to have been his daughter.

Happy birthday in heaven, daddy! I sure do love and miss you.❤❤

Never Forget the Bad

The wounds you bore, the mistakes you made, the pain you survived, every tear cried, never forget. But remember for the right reasons. Remember that the enemy and bad choices made all those things but God has healed them all or is in the process of it as soon as you humbly ask Him to. Remember where you have been in order to bring glory to God for getting you through and saving your soul for eternity from such devastation. Never forget what God has brought you through. Forget to glorify God and forgive it all, even yourself, and then deny these things power over your present, learning that God’s salvation and life is far greater for you and for eternity. I am proud of where I have been because praise God He got me through them wiser and humbler. Our history needs to be reflected on sometimes not to go back or grow bitter but to forgive and realize what God brought us through and never to go back to it. Forgetting or drowning the past in distractions or drugs/addictions of choice prevent the full lesson. Sometimes greater than the pain of that time is the longer drawn out pain of remaining there and not allowing God to heal you and complete the leason. People believe the lie that it will hurt more but the truth is that God frees completely. ❤

Pet Peeve of the Cross

Christians are Christians and have all the promises and rewards and relationship and security that God provides because of the work of Jesus. And yes, His mode of sacrifice was the horrific cross. But instead of the torture He went through for me, I cannot help but wish the symbol of Christianity was an empty tomb, a grave with the stone rolled away. Because if He had died that horrible death for us and stayed dead, it would have been an incomprehensibly nice gesture but have no eternal value or meaning. But He rose from the dead! The resurrection is the power over death once and for all for all of us who accept Him. And some even keep Jesus on the cross! Hard for me to take. Our hope is the resurrection. I will buy a necklace with a pendant not of a cross but of the empty tomb, thank you very much. And I am so very thankful for His resurrection after His sacrificial death. We live and are secure and loved eternally because of Jesus. 😄 ❤ ❤ ❤