A Productive Day

Today, I missed him again. It didn’t cripple me this time but brought about a strong desire to be productive and live life extra deep, with intense meaning, realizing one less person is here to love me. So, I walked a double, played and sang with greater intensity in band practice, worked a little on tying the quilt, shopped for groceries faster, trimmed more jasmine in the backyard, cooked an amazing steak and potatoes for the fam, did the dishes right away, spent more time with the kids, spoke to help and encourage two friends, showered and feel amazing. Lots of other little things, but I feel honored that God got me over the hump to reflective productivity when I miss him. I was so blessed to have him as long as I did. Was sure good to be and feel loved. Missing will always be there somewhere until heaven but it is becoming a scar tattoo of Jesus. I am growing closer to Him and He is reflecting more in me. Jesus is my hope and love. Praise God!!!❤❤❤

The Right Question

There is so much talk that everything is good as long as it is what you believe and want and it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone. I believe that is the answer to the wrong question. I believe what is my right and wrong is a fool’s game because we all have such differing experiences and interpretation. I believe we have to always go back to the truth. The only truth I know of anymore is God’s Word, the Bible. It has never been disproven ever. No other book can boast of that. And it was written by God through people, except the 10 Commandments, which God wrote Himself. I believe inventing and living off your own truth is short-sighted and egotistical at best and extremely and eternally dangerous at worst. The question is not what is ok. That is the wrong question. What really matters is what secures my eternal future and helps those around me and what will God allow me to carry into eternity? And that means also what will please God? Apart from the Bible, I am not sure how you would know that. There is an eternity that we will meet sooner than you think which should excite you if you are close to God obeying His Word (which involves heavily reading the Bible and praying) and should terrify you if you aren’t. I believe that motivates behavior in a completely different way when you ask the right question. Many things are ok, but are they eternally beneficial and pleasing to God? That is the correct question to focus all your energy upon. ❤

The Best Man I Know

The best man I know is the one who passed his Y chromosome down to me. Scientific and not romantic is the approach to this thesis, because if I lay my emotions out there, I will cry and not be logical so I am speaking from the doctor part of me. It is my rational, lab coat on side that has served me well long before obtaining a degree. But I digress. Here is why my daddy was the best man in the world (no offence other really magnificent men I have had the privilege of knowing): 1. He was loyal to his wife and family. This is beyond mere faithfulness, hard enough to come by these days, I know. But he was loyal to our family, meaning that our family unit was defended valiantly against anything coming against it. He would defend us, any of us, to the death and I was completely and utterly safe within his care. He knew his strength and ability beyond any hesitation, and he was a boxing instructor and drill instructor in the Marines and a strong fatmer and an excellent marksman to boot, so he really could defend us and would successfully, I never ever doubted that. Since safety is such a great need for a little girl, I grew up safe and secure. That is amazing to this little girl. My daddy also gave up his ex and three daughters for my mom and our family (mom required that of him, we never would have). He never looked back but probably always silently struggled with that decision but never showed that. 2. Daddy provided for us. My mom was a housewife and my sister and I went to private Christian school because he wanted to provide us the best education possible. I am certain that is why he worked so very much overtime, to provide for us. He sacrificed his free time for our education and mom being able to not work outside the home, which she absolutely did not want to do. He provided protection and paid the bills and we never wanted for anything we needed and most of what we wanted. He provided well. 3. Daddy was a strong manly Christian. That should have been first but I believe this is why he was loyal and a great provided. He loved Jesus. He taught me how to be moral and love Jesus too. He was man enough and convicted enough to drag me to church every time the doors were open. We sang together in a family quartet in churches in the area. We sang in the church choir and for church musicals my dad volunteered to be in, despite his hard work and limited time. My dad knew that some things are more important than rest and often told me he would rest in heaven. He is resting now but I bet more likely he is singing for Jesus right now with his angelic voice. 4. He was my rock. Again, because he lived Jesus, I could always count on him. All my life he would ask if I needed anything. He helped me with anything I needed ever. So here is my short list of why daddy was the best man on earth. The world was better for his having been here and I am who I am largely because of him. Thank you, daddy. See you soon in hew reaver for I think Jesus will take us home soon. Love and miss you, daddy. ❤❤❤

Tonal Beautality

Our eyes are easily manipulated and can perceive immaculate beauties or unsurpassing ugliness, based more upon the settings you pre-programmed your mind with than actual reality. And I am not sure if the beauty God showers on His people is from outward changes that stem from internal goodness or if the inner goodness creates a perception, but it is a fact that those walking closely, purely with the Lord in His love and peace look more beautiful every day. And I am not sure if it is that in me or my getting more toned by walking 1.5-2.8 miles daily and eating healthier that is causing other people lately to lavish compliments on me about my appearance. It looks to them like I am losing weight, as that is what is expected to have happened when one becomes more attractive. So many have said it that I stepped on a scale. Just 4 pounds down is all, but I noticed my clothes are looser and looked objectively and saw a healthy glow about me. Never being one to base anything off appearances, mine or others- I am way too deep for that nonsence-, I speculate that a toned body is attractive but a toned spirit/heart is unfathomable more attractive. I am thankful for spiritual health, then mental health, then physical health. These are wildly important blessings from God that I do not take lightly. I am so thankful. In my family too, if course. People who are morose and just mis-focused. God is good, friends!!❤

Homeschooling Joys

After 4 years of homeschooling (we took off some time during year 3 to care for and then bury my daddy), we have been flowing like a well oiled machine and now that we are on year 5, we are booking. We can do a full comprehensive days work for two grades in 2 1/2-3 hours with no drama and doing PE and piano lessons afterward as a reward. It is fantastic. I love it!! So rewarding. It is not for everyone, but we sure love it. ☺❤