Time with Daddy

Before my Daddy went to Heaven, I had a lot of invaluable time with him. It wasn’t invaluable because we had deeply wise discussions because he had dementia and gradually lost his memories, recent first and then past. What made it so special was that I got to see who he really was inside and his spirit. He loved Jesus. I know this because even when all his memories were gone, he still talked about Jesus and going to heaven and expressed great morality in his limited speech. And I got to see the pure base of love that God creates in a heart that loves and serves Him long term. It was beautiful. And in being so close to Daddy as his physical body diminished, I saw a renewing and resetting of his spirit, almost like he could see Jesus sometimes and I believe he could. And in my arms, he transitioned over and it was the biggest blessing of my life. I want to keep other older people company who are suck in bed to comfort them and learn and love on them. Older people are such an extreme blessing and what they teach us is worth more than gold. ❤

The Lighter Side of Life

Looking on the bright side, heaven is coming up on the horizon. And as dark and deceitful as this world can possibly get, that makes the light of truth in heaven that much brighter! And while Muslims expect their 72 virgins in paradise for killing a Christian or Jew, the reality is that murder unrepented of gets you a direct ticket to hell but the Christian and Messianic Jew goes straight to that heaven/paradise they were expecting where we are as pure as virgins and that is the sad ironic truth (sad for them, pretty amazing for us). Heaven is coming soon and even better, we have a secure, eternal relationship as adopted children of God Almighty!! Woo hoo! I can not stand the thought of people being lost, but everyone has their own choice to make and I am so happy to be on the winning, loving, peaceful, joyful side with Jesus Christ our Messiah. Oh how I love Him!!! ❤❤❤

Finally, A Pantry 

Some really good things in life take time to develop. We have had an empty room, a closet with no shelving, a blank space really for some time (7 years), just being used to hold stuff, storage. Meanwhile, we have had no pantry, little storage space and an eyesore. Now is the time. Finally we have money available, a new shed to put things into that was in there,  carpenter available, materials assembled, electric ready, baseboards removed, everything prepared. It all takes time. Masterpieces do not happen overnight. This pantry, when done will have a sink with running water, countertops shelving, like a mini kitchen with lots of storage. It will be beautiful! And I was thinking about it. People, including me, want things to happen immediately, instant gratification, with perfect results. Life is not like that. There are processes we need to go through. There is an order to things. And God knows the right timing for these things to stick when they get here. Were the pantry put together haphazardly, it would not have the best function for us. And in waiting for it, we realize exactly what we need, which is not what we had originally thought. So planning and time is beneficial for a great new pantry. And for many of the things in our lives personally. If we take our time and process the options before making decisions, maybe they also will be even better for everyone. As I age and mature and God blesses me with wisdom, it is making more sense to take my time and do things right. Amazing things come to those who wait. Like Heaven waits for us and comes in due time, a great pantry will be made and perfected in due time. Yay!!

Don’t Know Everything but Know Something

I don’t get a lot of stuff, like how the chocolate molten lava cake works or how someone can choose willingly to become so evil as to harm a child or how we can be moving like 1,000 miles an hour to keep us on this rock and it can feel like we acne standing still. These things I ponder, just don’t get at all. But I know this to be true. We, each acnrend every person on this planet, we’re made on purpose by a loving and powerful and very very smart God who is still in charge. He is so in charge that He told us what would happen and how to be saved from it all in the end in the Bible and opened up a way and spelled it out how to come pray to Him. I understand love from observing Him. I get love by experience. Love isn’t the falling, the infatuation, it is the staying, the faithfulness and self-control and gentleness and peace and joy of just being together. I get that my behavior and my children are my responsibility to keep myself right in the head and prepare the kids for adulthood in a pretty twisted world. I know beyond all doubt that each and every one of us will die and some will be taken up before that can happen and there is an eternity to look forward to or not, depending on how you did with the salvation and prayer thing mentioned previously. And this is where my hope comes in. Despite my crazy and at times otherwise unbearable journey through life has been, God is my constant and hope. I have not been constant but He sure is. And He drew me back and reminded me of these things I mentioned. No point is too late to remember and humbly talk to God and realign with Him. He is big but love and wants everyone He made on purpose to live forever with Him in heaven, His original intention for us. This I know. I will work on understanding the lava cake next. 

Losing Grandpa to Heaven

As hard as it was to lose my Daddy four months ago, now my Grandpa (Edwin Metzler) has left this world and gone off to Heaven to join my Daddy and precious Grandma there. He was my last living on earth grandparent. And growing up, he was a missionaries kid in Africa and later in life a missionary to Arfrica with his wife and 3 girls. And when they retired from ministry to work and take care of their girls in the states, Grandpa was a math teacher for high school until he retired and then Derry college. What I remember best of gim, besides his relentless puns and incredible bass singing voice was his presence. He was rather aloof but I knew he loved us not because he said it much but because he was there. He and Daddy helped me move countless times. When we had programs or recitals, he was there with my Grandma. For every birthday party and holiday, he was there and we ate and played games most of the day. I remember he was always with us camping too and loved to swim. He didn’t say a lot that was serious, rather avoided seripus if he could, but when he did or when he was asked about the Bible or the Lord, he would stun you with his understanding and insights. He lived to 87 years of age and passed into Heaven a few hours ago. I am not mushy with tears like I was with daddy, but have shed some tears, but I feel the loss for sure, but I know that Heaven is now.being inundated with jokes and beautiful bass singing now and Daddy probably put him to work immediately in the choir and that makes me smile. At least I have Heaven to look forward to and being with Jesus most and my family. Many are there now along with my daughter. Looking forward to seeing them again when Jesus comes back for us. In the meanwhile, I will spend tomorrow afternoon with my mom remembering Grandpa and appreciating his spectacular life and ministry and jokes and presence. Thank God I had him in my life up til now!

Tired of Waiting

I am waiting for heaven. I am not sure how to wait more gracefully, but God can guide me as I pray. I am needing His grace, His peace, His joy in this ever darker world. Evil is ramping up around us. I can feel it, we all can. It is ugly and I want to go home. Heaven is the home of all who n put their trust in Jesus Christ for their salvation and love and seek God then live for Him. Thank God for the Bible or we would not know what that looks like. Dear Lord, I know you are coming soon but are delaying out of grace to save as many as possible. Please help me help your cause in any way I can, please help me and my family and friends to be ready. I love you, Jesus!

What if Jesus is Coming Back Very Soon?

I have seen a lot of YouTube videos on end times. I am sure everyone has. There is a tug at my spirit, though, that longs for Him to come but prays He delays so more can be saved, my family, my friends, even my enemies. But we have to be ready when He comes, no matter how long He delays in His grace and mercy for those dragging their spiritual behinds. Jesus is Coming soon, the question is how soon? And that is really just a secondary question.The first question is what do I need to do to be spiritually ready? That answer is why the Bible was written. We are to humble our hearts and souls before the Creator God and admit we are sinners (we are not perfect), believe Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection paid for our sins and accept His sacrifice for our sins. Then we pray all the time, we read the Bible, we find a good church that just lovingly preaches the truth of the Bible as is and do your best to live according to that Bible. Obey God. Focus on Him. Forgive everyone in your life who has wronged you, whether they asked or deserve it or not. Ask God’s forgiveness for every wrong you have done. Love and tell this plan to everyone you can. That is what to do to be ready. Focus, focus, focus. Even if it is years, you would never lose spiritually if you live this way. In fact, life would be greatly better this way. 🙂 ❤