The Key to Not Taking Offense

Everyone knows me now knows I do not take offense at the criticism of others. I see every person’s comments as personal biased opinions for which there is a rigorous but unknown backstory. Someone may say something rude but they did not mean to be rude, they did not have another way to express their lack of energy at such a horrible day they had. Or the rude thing may reflect their upbringing and they think it is normal. Or their car broke down earlier and their frustration level is overflowing onto me. There is a reason and I love people enough to give them that benefit of the doubt. Now if I am victim of it habitually, I will pull them aside and talk to them and apologize for any offense I have given them. This does two things: breaks the ice in a humble way and makes their bad behavior realized. It may even help them get to the heaet of the matter. I mean, who doesn’t want to be apologized to? Who stays angry at someone being humble to you? So the key is to stay humble and not take things/words personally. For instance, I went out shopping, I noticed the weird phenomenon that I turned a lot of guys’ heads. I thought I must be having a good looking day and that’s nice. Then my husband tell me this dress makes me look fat. The old me would have either attacked him or cried, depending on the time of the month, but nope. Not today. Not anymore. I no longer take the offense. I consider the source, he was raised highly critical and thus criticism is normal conversation, in addition it is his strange, twisted way of trying to help me look my best. It is not nice but I no longer take offense. If I need a word of encouragement, I go to God or my best friend. So someone may pitch you something offensive with or without realizing it but it is up to me or you to take it, accept it from them or not. Don’t take it personally but just as if they were trying to give you a present of garbage, you can gracefully refuse to accept it and say “no thanks, not my size” or “no thanks, not true of me”. Stay humble, seek to understand and you may help them. Forgive them and you help you too. Love you. ❤

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Joy versus Happiness

Happiness is a feeling based on a decision. Joy is much deeper. Joy is a character trait, a result of the Holy Spirit living inside. It is proof that you are God’s, part of His internal spiritual gift to you and is not conditional upon a decision (excepting that initial decision of salvation). Happiness is a decision and is generally tied to feelings and emotions which are readily tied to circumstances. You can temporarily force happiness in bad circumstances by strong will and decisions, but can never sustain such will when tired or hurt or damaged for very long or consistently. Joy, however, is forever. Joy is internal, unshakable, incombustable. Joy cannot be moved. However the enemy tries to dumb it down or distract you from its amazing power. The joy of the Lord Jesus Christ is our strength inside us available any minute or second of the day. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Happiness is external, joy is internal. Our goal should never be so shallow and fleeting as to be happy. Happy is so easy to manipulate. Joy is deeper, stronger, internal, POWERFUL. You can not increase its presence or power in your life, you can only recognize it more as you declutter your spirit and soul of distractions and wordy pullings. Joy is our treasure, so closely bonded to peace that the two must exist together. These attributes of God live in us who are saved! We own these valuable resources! We do not have to ask for them. We have to obey and uncover them with faith and release of this world. This world is not our home, we are just passing through. Heaven is our home. And while on earth, we have valuable joy and peace and the other fruits of the Spirit tied together with love and hope and faith. Wow!! What incredible power we possess over the schemes of the enemy. How beautiful is the blessed God who is the originatornof these gifts and pours them out to us generously and lovingly. Is am so thankful that He saw fit to save such a little girl as I am. Accepted by God, it does not matter who else rejects me. I am a beloved child of the Most High God!!! So are you!!! ❤❤❤

Destructive People

There are some people who we are really better off never knowing. They are destructive, “toxic” in today’s language. The problem is that most often we do not know this about them until we are in deep enough that the damage is already done. Of course, there are plenty of destructive people who make it obvious that they are just that, for instance those trying to divide America and not support her President’s attempts to unite and heal us or those who use their entertainment platforms to combat unity, but I digress. For those secretive about it, one way we can prevent being conned is by being close personal friends with the truth. When we are close to God in regular prayer and read His Word, we are so familiar with the truth that when we come in contact with smooth talk and little subtle lies, we see it for what it is. And expect it to look good, maybe too good, and play on emotions. If you feel your emotions being tugged or moving unusually, chances are something is amiss. Remember that as the very best of roach killers is 99% food and 1% poison, so the very best of lies are 99% truth and 1% poisonous lie. These are the ones we have to be the most closely on guard for. For example, in my previous life, I had met a guy who told me how beautiful I was, how wonderful my personality was, how fantastic everything I did was, how much he lived me, etc. and my emotions were tugged. Of course, as soon as someone came by who he thought had more to offer, he dropped me like a bad habit and left me high and dry, not even looking back. Talk about destructo-boy. Smooth, pretty words with a touch if real truth amidst a world of flattert. This is just an extreme example but happens a lot. This is why when I met my husband, who is a little rough around the edges but never pretends to be anything else, I respected that and took notice. It should never the goal of an honest person to get what they can from you. And when someone loves you for who you are, like my husband does, they may not talk so pretty but they prove they love you by their actions, helping you with life and not demanding your life from you. I can be myself with my husband. He loves me is why. Destructive people love only themselves, and I am not sure they even understand the word love truly. They are damaged so they damage others or chose to damage others because of evil choices. It really doesn’t matter why unless they are trying to heal and change. The action requires us to eliminate that bad behavior from our lives. That is not selfish or rude or mean to them, it is good stewardship of what God has given us. It is being responsible and loving to ourselves. So please cozy up to God and His Truth as often as you can and be on guard against thieves of joy and peace, these destructive/toxic people. God knows. He will provide always. His love for us is real and true. 

The Story of Beauty & The Ugly

Beauty was a sweet girl who loved who she was because she could run and play and pick wildflowers to give her mom or the neighbor lady. She would cook bread and take it to her grandma. She was so happy she could do these things and felt happy inside. No one told her she was beautiful but she was, with a unique beauty that left impressions on the heart. As Beauty got older, she went to school and met The Ugly. These were the “popular” people who told themselves they were beautiful all day long and told everyone else, including Beauty, that they were not beautiful because they were not The Ugly, a self-glorifying dictatorship of thugs who happened to have a lot of money. Beauty shook it off rhe best she could and excelled at school and helped other “not beautiful” people the best she could. Well, Beauty moved out of the house young after getting a job and she met her first boyfriend. She felt beautiful with him. He told her she was beautiful. Never mentioned her generous loving heart much, just emphasized her looks. Well, she believed him but became confused when he started calling her fat. Well, she tried to get skinnier and worked and went to school. Soon she found out he was telling another girl she was beautiful too. And immediately she saw the lie and was devastated. Beauty moved on eventually to a new boyfriend who also emphasized her looks at first and later started calling her Dat and hit her… once… and was lying to another girl. Beauty felt not beautiful as The Ugly had told her. And magazines Beauty picked up told her she needed to be skinnier and prettier and be wild in bed for men to like you. And they sounded like The Ugly tyrannical dictator thugs. And on TV and movies, Beauty saw all the girls considered beautiful were stick figures and loose as possible with no morals and only care about appearance, not realizing they were airbrushed and often ill, and Beauty realized they were The Ugly also. And Beauty picked up her now dusty Bible and started to read. And Beauty realized that The Ugly were all wrong, every one of them, and that she was beautiful and that beauty had nothing to do with what she looked like. Beauty was made uniquely and purposefully by God, who made everything we know of and loves us each, is bit enough to be with each of us at the same time. God said being kind and gentle and loving and helpful and productive and sweet was true beauty and Beauty remembered that she was all those things initially so long ago. She cried with happiness that God who made her thought she was beautiful and suddenly, what The Ugly thought was the stupidest thing on earth, unworthy of future thought. So Beauty forgave them, forgave herself, forgave the bad men, forgave everyone and started living her amazingly beautiful life. True story.

On Attacks and Defense

All bullies are cowards. My daddy (the Marine) taught me that. He was right. He was always right because he never said anything unless he was sure he was right. When people attack, they are bullies and cowards. And there are one of three reasons: 1. they were brought up and/or treated that way, 2. they have pride issues and feel they need to feel more important by putting someone down or 3. they are really punks because they have been coddled and never disciplined and think they can do whatever they want. All of these categories boil down to the fact that regardless of why, they choose to attack. They choose aggression. Remember that. To defend yourself is the choice you must meet them with or the cycle continues. I have always done this and always prevented or curtailed or punished an attack. One time I was blindsided because it was an old boyfriend who had never acted that way before. Once I realized, it was too late but I took care of him after. I still stood up, still fought. Someone attacks you, turning the other cheek is the right thing to do but before you turn it, make sure your firearm is in hand. Rolling over and taking it empowers them to do it again, to you or your loved ones or other people. Bully cowards will keep attacking once they get away with it the first time, once they choose that behavior and level of cowardice. Defence is being a good steward of your body, God’s space to live in you. They chose to put their bodies in harm’s way by attacking, you must refuse to let them get away with imposing harm upon you or those in your care around you. The right thing is to stand against an attacker. Let no one tell you otherwise. Seems like an awful lot of people nowadays are getting away with an awful lot lately here and abroad. Fight back, people. We have arms for defence of ourselves and families. This is on purpose. There are bad people that should be relieved of their right to impose badness on everyone else. Who better to defend themselves than those who would be attacked. Do not let these lunatics free to attack. Stand against this evil. The day you let evil in, it does not stop until ruination. Do not reason with evil, stand against it with solid arms and a soft voice of truth. “Speak softly and carry a big stick” or equivalent you are comfortable with is still very good advice. Just my momentary thought after watching the news.

The Games People Play

I like Trouble and Sorry, Euchre, Dutch Blitz, Uno, chess, checkers, many others. I grew up playing these games. I even like Monopoly even though I am not greedy enough to win, it is still fun. 🙂 But of the many, many games I have played growing up, I never saw such manipulative, selfish, hateful, deceitful games in my life as I have witnessed and that have been forced upon me as an adult. Other adults play these elaborate games, and I to this day see no reward in them other than death and eternal housing in a very hot place. And I think what a liar Satan is, what liars have told us we have to look a certain way, believe and repeat back what they say to be loved or important but the love and importance is not real or permanent and guilt follows and death is the reward for your efforts. These games are in direct opposition to the truth and thus God. God is truth and His message is so simple and pure. Believe and trust in Jesus Christ as Savior and be saved and have eternal lasting peace and joy and love. Wow! A breath of fresh air. Light. There is no trick, no deception, no twist or rug pulled out from under you, no broken heart, no regrets, no demands on your appearance just guidelines of modesty and cleanliness, good things that serve us better that promote moral integrity. No games. No games!! I like that so much I live it and you should too. 🙂 I want you happy and game free unless it is one we choose, like rummy with friends. 🙂

Narcissists Should Change

Among us Earthlings, we have really good people who love their maker God. We also have these selfish souls who have decided they are their own best gods and must have made themselves and made everyone else to exist for their benefit. These people are called narcissists. Narcissists take and never give, much like entitled parasites. They demand but never give. They insist upon their way, their praises, our worship and give back only more demands and enough of whatever we desire to get their way and hot one drop more. They shapeshift to keep from being found out, they lie and coerce and manipulate and require praise and worship in return. They appear perfect and make every effort to be charming and delightful and put up such a great front that everyone insists this is an amazing person. The perception of them changes as soon as they reveal their true colors and cold heart and have drained their forced worshipers of their life and energy and moved on to greener pastures, better, younger, higher energy, undamaged, strong so they can eat well and feed their egos anew. And until these people humble themselves before God and acknowledge Him as the One who should be worshipped (until they are forced to their knees on judgment day and it is too late), they will only be as temporarily happy ad their next conquest and will never know truth and God’s peace and lasting joy. They will continue to terrorize and bully and play these immature games until they draw their last breath. Narcissists need to change. For their sake and the sake of all of society. Our beautiful world is more and more polluted by these creatures and good people are unapologetically hurt every day. If change is not executed and true change only Jesus can bring, these folks will be required to continue being their own God into eternity and be separated from the real powerful God of the universe. And I don’t wish that on anyone.