Hard Lessons

Ok, so in my younger days, ahem, God had to whack me in the head to get my attention and teach me lessons I desperately needed to learn to be useful in His kingdom and even right now in this place with these people. I was largely on my own in many ways and was grossly independent with an annoying kind of false humility (which is based on an enormous pride) and I needed training tempered with love (most often) to get my hard-headed attention. I desperately needed to be humbled and alone with God. It is funny thr clarity that comes with decades of maturing, mildewing and contemplation.

The hardest lessons ever were always the same lesson: I am little but loved and God is great, solely worthy of worship, and the only One trustworthy who loves me unconditionally.

It seems a simple lesson. I was not simple. I knew enough to be dangerous but not wise, highly intelligent and over-thinking everything but with an arrogance I am almost embarrassed by now. God has always been about simple presentation of that lesson. And He has always been about a relationship with me, amazingly, and is big enough to have that with everyone who accepts Jesus as their Savior.😄❤

Walking a Tightrope

When we feel like we are walking a Tightrope through life, we miss the point. When trying to wrestle with making the masses happy, balancing time with our kids and spouse, figure out how much time our work should take and then a complexity added of how spiritual to be and when and how to do right and not wrong and when to say what and when to not talk, the tightrope under our feet gets skinnier and the distance beneath us is greater to fall.

And people fall from it all the time. People, sadly, believe that is all there is and lose hope and fall. And that is the saddest thing ever because they have clearly missed the point. And maybe that is why we weird big picture people exist, to remind you of the big picture.

Sure, we are weird. I own that and have never cared what people thought of me because of the big picture thing. Yes, I miss a lot of the details so I miss a lot, but here is the thing. I am good at at least one thing, seeing and showing the big picture. And here it is. This is huge and if you grasp it, your tightrope will suddenly turn into a wide bridge over a trench.

Accepting Jesus Christ as Savior is all about grace and putting God first.

If you really embrace that, your life will instantly be brighter and load lighter. Guilt loads will dump off to God’s forgiveness. Loneliness will disappear because God comforts and fills you up with thr Holy Spirit, a constant companion with warm arms and power when needs be. And balancing everything becomes easy as He gives abundant wisdom when we put Him first. And reading thr Bible and praying keeps our connection to God strong and bonds the relationship so peace and joy is forever right there no matter what.

No need to walk a tightrope, just need to see the big picture and embrace it. Then wow, that grace takes over and perfection is no longer required, just devotion. Wow! Freedom! Hope!😄❤

The Choice to Remember

To a significantly great extent, we are given the ability to choose to remember or forget. Now I realize that traumatic events take a great deal of time and forgiveness more than time to get to that place, but it is possible. I am proof of that. I remember what went down, but no longer remember smells or details or pain or sounds and yells. I chose to forgive long ago and more recently asked to forget and God granted me that to the extent a human mind can. We have to remember some or it may be repeated or help someone else somehow. Also, it becomes a beautifully remade scar filled with God’s diamond dust healing to give Him glory for healing us from it and making us prettier and humble.

But I really went down a rabbit hole there because I want us to all start practicing the remembrance of good things. In fact, I suggest we get a notebook or memo app and write down who and what kindness was done to us in our day. Thr smallest thing, the biggest thing. We can choose to remember. And then we can, at the end of the day, week, month, whatever, look at them and smile and thank God for those blessings. It may encourage you. You may see patterns. You may appreciate more. You may whine less. You may share the idea with someone else who seems down a lot. It may help them. Old fashioned people call that counting our blessings, but make that fresh and call it “choosing good” or “good things to remember” or something. Maybe post some good thing to lift someone’s face to God for a minute. Maybe change the world one good thing at a time.😄❤

Born Confident

Many of my friends seem to have been born insecure, born worried, born unsure. I never understood that because God gave me the spiritual gift of faith from birth so I was always confident in Him and myself. I was born confident. I was incredulously sure of things I knew very little about yet. My less confident friends always envied my confidence and we’re amazed by it. Truth be told, I was made that way and had little to do with it other than exercise it.

But being born confident has its own issues and easy-coming sins. I tended toward pride and independence (which sounds good except that now I realize I need to depend on God). In fact, I had a judgmental bent back then and a certain annoying know-it-all obnoxious quality about it. Even if I was right, that is hideously annoying, I see now.

And here is why I say all this. There is no person on this earth perfect or together or flawless. No need to look out the corners of your eyes at someone and wish you had their confidence or sureness or strengths. You have your own. Maybe it is different or not as in-your-face as some of us loud folks, but I can guarantee that when exercised, your gift rocks. And cautious has its advantages (your guardian angel doesn’t have to work so hard maybe). Embrace who you are and thr beautiful way God made you. Rise to it. Develop it and see how invaluable you are in the kingdom of God. That is a beauty He loves and rewards, and I personally find it inspiring and alluring. Be God’s.😄❤

Honored to Have Broken

I have long known the bit about God using the broken beautifully. I have lived it. But in my case, it was my choice to be broken. How so? God wanted me because my Grandmas and Aunts were praying for Him to want me and I was proud and rebellious. I would not humble my heart to God with any of His many gentle nudges. So I had to be broken to have a chance to be humbled. God loved me enough and answered their prayers enough to break me to save my soul. I am excessively thankful and God can break me anytime I need it. I choose to stay humble, though, because I see it’s value. I realize you cannot have a relationship with God puffed up with pride. If broken gets you humble, be thankful for the broken. If broken does not lead to humble, it is wasted and may need to be repeated. Accept the lesson for it means you are loved enough to endure some temporary earthly pain to gain eternal glory. Someone is praying for God to draw close to you. Be thankful. Choose truly humble of heart to draw close to God who can make everything better inside- peace and joy and all.😄❤

So Thankful

I was thinking tonight of all the things, travel, opportunities and people God has blessed me with every day of my life. There are more than I can name or even remember. I am so very grateful. It shows me unquestionably how unfathomably good God is. There are so many blessings. Every one of them was precious and purposed into my life, even the pain. I do not wish for a different past, a different upbringing, more of anything. I am so very thankful. And it hit me that God is perfect and good and loves me so much. He orchestrated my life like a poet in love, masterfully and exquisitely. He designed my days and provided restful sleep for my nights. He painted incredible scenes when He knew I needed them and allowed just the right encouragement at critical times. How precious is our Savior! How amazing is our God!!!😄❤

Reimbursed

So the birthdays left me a bit tapped out. I got a job offer- working 2 days a week for $3,000-$5,000/mo. I had hesitation from my husband so said no to it. So I told the Lord I was trusting Him to provide as He always did. And He gave me 6 consults in about a 6 hour commitment, including drive time. So God reimbursed me and/or rewarded me for honoring my husband’s leadership. And I just want to tell you that God takes care of us like that. And I enjoyed fasting today as I saw 2 of thr patients during a small part of the day and homeschooled a good bit of it. So God blessed me and I wanted to acknowledge the trustworthiness of God. You ask Him and He provides what you need most every time. Praise God!!!😄❤❤❤