A Forgiveness Note

To Whom It May Concern,

Hello. It has been a really long time since we spoke. I want you to know something, for my part. I am very sincerely sorry for every distress I caused you. And I fully forgive any distress you caused me. At the time, I did not understand why you willfully bestowed such intense pain on me. I did not understand the lies and betrayal and traumatic pain. But now I realize fully that God designed that to humble me and bring me to trust deeper and more fully in Him. God is my anchor. He is magnificent. And the pain from you I forgive fully and thank you for causing it. I have never learned so much in such a short period of time. And although it was so very long ago, I needed to write these words and release you of any guilt or pain or sin against me. I forgive you freely and happily and with love. And I encourage you to draw close to God and cling to Him for safety and security. Trust God only. He never let’s us down.

With Sincerity and Love,

Tonya😄❤

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Encouragement & Growth in Writing

God has grown me up, matured me a lot in the past couple of very hard years. And I went back to my earlier writings. I noticed the same progression of maturity reflected in my writing style and substance. And it fascinates me now reading other people’s work and how, not unlike the eyes, their words are windows into their souls. We glean from life what we put into it and pay attention to, for better or worse. And we capture and describe those acute observations and impart that into words, writing styles, art that tells a story, as all good art does. And it is beautiful. My particular progression matched my spiritual journey through life, starting first somewhat shallow and self-centered then as my world broke it became depressing, searching for joy out of it, wanting freedom from the oppression. Now, my joy is returned and peace as I have found peace and joy in Jesus Christ’s salvation and assurance and love. And my writing reflects my maturity now, in that it is not about me but is in God and how I may be of service to my fellow mankindians. And writing is such a beautiful way to share life with others and really celebrate each other. Keep writing, friends. You are precious and appreciated!❤

Movie- Inspired Thought about Stories

I was watching a strange story, The Curious Life of Benjamin Button, or something like that. It had bad parts, but it was thought- provoking. Of course, being a mom I can never watch a whole movie start to finish so I see them in parts (which is the suckiest part of being a mom lol). Anyway, it struck me that life has way more meaning than was presented but that all life matters, everyone matters, everyone has a story. Some are inspiring and beautiful throughout and some are just in moments, but everyone has a story to tell. And what a shame some people wait until life is nearly spent to take the time to tell someone the story, and they may be unable or unwilling by then to listen. So, I am purposed to continue living my life out loud and proclaiming my story from the rooftops as I go. And I hope my story can inspire my children and anyone who hears it. I will be raw and real, “warts and all” as thr British beautifully put it. And please write or tell someone your story. God purposed it as He purposed you and you are beautiful, as is your story.❤

I Write Forgiveness

I write the word with a gleem in my eye

I write the word my heart just cried

I stand and cheer for surrender of wrongs

I hold no ill will though the wrongs seemed long.

I write the word that frees my heart

And draws me close to Jesus’ heart.

I write the world that sets me free 

And allows God to forgive me.

I write “forgiveness”.

Then forgiveness rewrites me.❤

Life Outside the Pages

I once felt more alive reading and writing than I did actual living. This is saying a lot because I am a pretty big “liver” (not the organ) too. I love life. The thing is that life didn’t always like me so a book was my friend, my escape, my journey into an alternate reality, my learning tool about people, my entertainment. I would stay up late into the night with my reading light on in bed, with four or five repetitions of “lights out” before I would allow my sleepy eyes to close in slumber. It was the classics: the Bible, Jane Austen anything, Loisa May Alcott, C.S. Lewis, Agatha Christie, Herman Melville, Brontte, the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings trilogy, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little Princess, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, the greats. I loved poetry also. And it occurred to me after having burnt out of books from intense doctoral study and way too much college education, that reading is just now becoming a love again. But in the interim, I realized that the Bible was gaining prominence as it connected with my deep desire for truth and closeness to God AND that it reinforces reality lived well as opposed to escaping it. And my busy schedule forces me to prioritize so this real life business may be handled really well, I must limit. I lately enjoy reading my new blog friends’ blogs, writing, participating and reading my Bible and a chapter here or there of some great book.❤

Reading Minds

As I read, I glimpse the mind of the author. I see their heart, read their mind, know a little of their innerness. Writing is an artistic expression of who we are and only really good artist writers can convey their story as they convey another. It is fantastic and I confess reading is one of my greatest joys. And the Bible is my favorite book because the Author/God tells His whole story through many other authors at various times in history and assembled it and thus revealed His mind and will and heart, so epic. This is my favorite way to get to know artistic person, no matter who they are or what their story. Everyone has a lesson to share, a beautiful mind to read. Bliss!❤

I Exist, So I Write & Read

God makes some quiet, some loud, some meek, some strong and some of us writers. I am not professing to be amazing at this but I do know that if I do not write, I go insane. My passion to write drives me. Writing is sharing, conveying ideas, giving some of yourself away to risk some exposure in hopes of being accepted, sharing, feeling companionship, being social. I write truth because I am a humanitarian and wish to free and help people. I write poetry because it is an extension of my artistry with a more direct purpose. I read because I know and understand the author through the style of writing, the medium chosen, the choice of words, what was said, what was left out, gaining their knowledge, seeing God’s fingerprint in them. There is an exchange. I am an extrovert, wild and untamed, but I am crazy about introverts and love them study them through their writing. You can tell about men through their writing also. If they don’t ever write, they are not serious or committed or are purposeful in leaving no evidence, if you know what I mean. You can themoellell whether the author is kind or wise or shallow (which is just so sad for it shows either ig orance or fear) or just incredible. I can see immediately if the author knows Jesus Christ as Savior and for how long. It is beautiful to read, to write. Please continue on this journey and thank you for allowing me to be a part of it. God bless you and your writing!❤