Shaking a Fist at God

This imagery has been brought into my head lately. Whenever we insist on doing what we want- and for years as an addict I did this so I speak from experience- we are pridefully shaking our fist at God. We are saying we want what we want and don’t want to hear what our loving Creator wants from or for us. We are praying our will be done rather than God’s will be done. We are screaming that we know better than almighty God, who made us.

God brought me, loved me, into recovery, into humble submission to His plan. Jesus bought with His own blood and cleaned me up inside and out. I am not who I was and I am free now and joyful, I have peace. All this because I have accepted His plan for me and humbled myself to accept love and grace. It is so very beautiful! I am so thankful! Praise God!πŸ˜ƒβ€οΈ

Weirdo

I am a weirdo. I embrace it. I love it. I admire myself for being my authentic, God-created-different-self and maybe that makes me even weirder. I am secure in my Maker which makes me secure in me. That has always made me weird. And even weirder is that my main spiritual gift is faith in God so I have a fearlessness (I only fear God) I rarely see in others and a sense of security I also rarely see. None of this is to brag but to show how weird I am.

People try to reassure me I am normal but the weirdness of me does not want to be normal. I am good with hoe God made me. I embrace it because I embrace Him. I am good with different. Moreso, I am a stranger and alien because of belonging to Christ and a resident of heaven. Also, I am very cool with weird and different. And I, though a girl, was born a leader. Also weird. Also embraced.

God deserves my thankfulness at how He made me more than He wants me to not want to be how He made me and try to be like other people He made to be different in some way. Conformity is a slap in His face, a shaking the fist at Him. No, I embrace weird. I am happy to be who God wants and made me to be. And I particularly love other peoples’ God-designed weird. Is good. It celebrates God’s creative greatness.πŸ˜ƒβ€οΈ

As I Watch, There is Value

I used to play tennis. Now I watch tennis. As I watch, I remember how much fun playing was. As I watch, I rest, I encourage, I enjoy, and I video-record for my son. Just because my body can not do what it used to does not mean I no longer should be out here. Many older people are in the same boat. There is great value in watching and encouraging and being present. πŸ˜ƒβ€οΈ

Finished Reading a Book!

Thanks be to God! I actually was able to squeeze in reading an entire book!! That was alongside teaching and working and the band and family needs and wants and reading my Bible and birthdays and so on! An entire book! I am so thankful to God who has taught me to use every moment for the best and provided more usable time for me than I thought possible. Praise God!πŸ˜„β€πŸ“š