Why do we want more despite having so much?

Why do we revisit the past in our minds we thought we long let go of?

Why do we want to do one thing and then fight ourselves about it?

I believe the answer is not simple and is simple. The simple part is a lack of focus on God. The less than simple part is it is easier for us to be in the physical than the spiritual. We wrestle the physical world while wrestling the spiritual one. We are constantly doing this and it is not always easy if we are tired or run down or not spiritually fit or praying. Our selfish peaks through. We see grass as greener elsewhere and find out it is a swamp in reality and damage is done. We give in to the enemy constantly bombarding us with attacks. We battle, battle, battle all the past and the present while trying to focus on the future with God. It is complex and ambitious. In fact, for me it is overwhelming sometimes, but I am learning to keep in the Word and pray and humble myself before the Lord and tell Him about it and ask for help. And when I do that, He gives me what I need for that moment. He loves me, you see, and is big enough to help. So, I guess all the complexity is me trying to do it all on my own and the simplicity is that God really can do it all and will help when I humbly ask Him to. Praise God!❤


Rock Bottom

Been there, done that and it is not pretty. Rock bottom is not really rock but deep sludge that threatens to slowly drown you, in my case. Some people have an accident or incident that would probably feel like landing on rock after a 3 story freefall. But I digress, not wanting the glorify the bottom, whether rock or sludge. I merely want to say that I am not there anymore and will not be again. I can say that definitively because I am now standing firm on God’s promises. His promises are all throughout the Bible and all are mine through salvation in Jesus Christ, Yeshua. You see, there are three choices when you hit rock/sludge bottom. 1. Very selfishly and eternally die. 2. Proudly stay there and/or scramble up and drop back down repeatedly, indefinitel eternally. 3. Humbly pray to Jesus Christ for salvation and forgiveness and get up eternally. So, really two choices are quite foolish, if you think about it. Pride versus eternal life. Hmmm. I prefer humble myself, that was my choice. Every person can make this same choice anytime they want, foolish pride and eternal death and pain or humble acceptance of the free gift of salvation and obedience and eternal life. Hmmm. Doesn’t seem like a hard choice to me now. At the time it was, which is why I had to hit rock/sludge bottom to begin with. Jesus is hope, you see. Truth, peace, joy, faithfulness, gentleness, love and hope, the whole bit. Just something to think about. ❤

Hardest Thing

The hardest thing to do in life is humbling ourselves. It is not out of pompous attitudes or beliefs of our grandeur, necessarily, but that of letting go of selfish pride and humbly praying to God and admitting we are sinners in need of a Savior and accepting Jesus Christ as just that. That is a step most people have the hardest time with because then we can’t do whatever we want unless we want pure and holy things. Even shy people feigning humility are proud and selfish internally, sometimes more stubbornly so. It takes a great deal of courage and bravery to kick our selfishness to the curb. But exactly that is what God REQUIRES for eternal salvation. He doesn’t suggest it or think it would be nice. Oh no. He requires it. And some people just choose eternal damnation rather than humble obedience. And I can think of very little more pathetic and saddening than that. My heart hurts literally for them. ❤

Humble Walk in Pride Central

Self-absorption is our greatest problem as a society, in our churches, in our government, everywhere. It is the dark side of pride. Walking humbly amidst throngs of self-absorbed people is like a meek, little kitten walking across the road of racing lions. And yet, we are told by God to be humble. And truly, we cannot pray effectively without being humble. Sometimes walking with God is very much like walking quietly against the flow of a roaring crowd. And I’m ok with that because Jesus always holds my hand and walks with me. ❤

Eating Humble Pie

So, my son’s baseball coach had promised him he would pitch last game. He didn’t put him in, he went back on his word in ambition to win (which they didn’t anyway), teaching the team that ambition beats integrity. But I digress, this is about my son’s lesson tonight. Tonight, coach let him pitch. He had thought he never would so did not practice. So when he did finally get in, he did mediocre, not great as he had envisioned in his own mind. And thus he learned that we must be ready just in case, be ready in all circumstances to be our best when called to be. He learned from his bite of humble pie, and I did too. I was reminded that I need to be ready when called upon. I haven’t kept up my exercise regimen because it has been so busy lately with school and their baseball 4 nights a week and pick up practices. And I feel tired, my back hurts, and I have no room in my schedule were God to call me to serve Him here or there. This is unwise of me. So I am getting back on the saddle, going to bed earlier and reorganizing our schedule with what is flexible to move and get up and go again. I also need to be ready when called to help where needed. So I too have eaten some humble pie. I am glad for it. ❤

Bleaching Houses

Every year, my mom’s house becomes an ugly mold and mildew greenish color, the result of warm rain in Florida. And this year, I bleached her house. Her whole house. In one day. With bleach, a hoze and a ladder. Up, down, up, down, reach, stretch, miss the windows, so on. Took the whole day. I was sore, hungry, thirsty (because I forgot to drink and worked through lunch), tired. And got yelled at. Got home and had to do dishes and cook and laundry. And this is my life now. Once I was a career woman, a doctor who worked for a good amount of money and then came home and did life. Now, life abounds with needs that I seem to be the only one that can do them. And am I whining? Maybe a bit, but I do have a bigger point. I would not trade this humbling family life for any amount of comfort and money. Not millions of dollars, not trillions (although I would pay off our national debt with that lol), not for whatever is bigger than that. I would rather be a humbled me- a mom, a wife, a teacher, a keyboardist in a band, a Sunday School teacher, a friend- than a face locked onto a cell phone, career driven proud woman who misses the whole point. Who I am is meaningless without eternal value. What I do is idiotic if I work my life away for the temporary. My identity is absurd without locking into what God made me to be, what He sees my priorities to be. I am nothing without my Creator. And I am close to Him when I obey and humbly trust Him. Then, when humble and obedient and trusting, I am a fierce woman of God and absolutely nothing can move or shake me unless He allows it for my growth or His glory. And prayer and Bible reading keep me connected.❤

The Power of Humility

Humility is strength. People see through a proud lens that humility is weakness. Quite the opposite, really. In the scheme of things, we people are weak, helpless to natural disasters, crumble under attacks, heart-broken when cheated on, fragile when a loved one dies, breakable when deficient in minerals, and powerless to determine our eternal destination apart from humbly accepting Jesus Christ as our Savior. The flawed world and evil people puff us up to sell us things. We are little, that is the reality. We should be humble. However humility is strength because realizing that and drawing close to God and Jesus for help puts us in their protection, the strongest Beings in the universe who made us and love us. Humility allows God to work in us. And we really need God to have the very best life and hope of everything good and eternal security. ❤