The longer I live and the closer I get to the Lord, the more sins He exposes in me so I can get them cleaned up and right/forgiven/confess/repent before I face Him in eternity. It is very kind of Him to show me the error of my ways. And it is humbling. For that I am thankful and truly feel loved. But I wanted to share in case anyone else needs help seeing it in themselves.
I always thought of myself as funny- don’t judge me lol. I also am thr most positive and optimistic person I know. However, in all my “funny”, I have a strong tendency to sarcasm, which is a disguised spirit of griping. Think about it. I have made almost a science of pointing out what was wrong in a flippant but real way and having fun at their expense. I have been a griper. “Venting” is another area I have been guilty of griping and criticising. And I was convicted how guilty I was. And I read in the Bible that God hates this practice. In fact, He had the ground swallow a good chunk of Israelites who were grumbling in the desert after being rescued from slavery in Egypt. That tells me grumbling is sin and is hated by God. And this makes sense because it is the opposite of thankfulness and praise.
So, I have had a major re-adjustment, yet another come to Jesus moment. And I am now working aggressively on a spirit of appreciation and praise, an obedience God will love in me, an act of worship to the precious God who made and saved me. And I am so very thankful to grow and change and see another fault within me to work on for God’s glory. Praise God!!!❤❤❤
Laying down your burdens to the Lord requires the first step of laying down your pride and tight grip on these burdens. We fixate on the problems and thus they grow while our faith hangs put on the sidelines and shadows waiting its use. We need to humble our heart and visualize placing our problems/burdens at the foot of Jesus who can actually help and grab our faith up and then let go of those burdens. Then focus on God who just helped you yet again and thank Him for it. Ponder His amazing ability to handle every problem in the world simultaneously. Really try to n wrap your head around that and then be thankful that such a powerful God delicately made you and sustains you because of His enormous, unfathomable love for you.❤❤❤
I fell off the my horse yesterday. Here is what I learned.
If you fall for a minute, brush off the dirt, mend the wounds, ask forgiveness, and get back on the horse. Falling off is inevitable in a fallen world. Staying off is a choice. Get back up there and ride. The horse will understand. The Trainer will forgive and help you. If it is muddy out, be more diligent and listen better, obey better, serve better. Use the horse to help serve more. Don’t choose to stay in the mud after a fall. Thr mud is no life. Get back on the horse. Don’t focus on thr mud beneath you, focus on the destination, the road and the Trainer.
Count on the Trainer’s wisdom and advice from the Training Manual and His Words and follow it again. Never fall off the same way again. Do your best to stay on the horse. Be humbled but not humiliated and learn from it. The Trainer will help you.❤
Today was horrible. I will not lie. My husband woke up in a really bad mood and then it got worse. Last night was no picnic. And it is all culminating on him right now. He has lived with guilt and blame and unresolved issues so long he is now literally paying for it. He is angry, moody, passive aggressive and rightfully so after a fashion because we are dealing with and paying for termite annihilation, a broken van door, and PIED while doing house renovations on the back patio and two gigs this week and one just finished from the weekend. It is a lot for any person, and such stress and punishment brings a rawness of temper. And of course I and the kids are the closest things to lash out at.
But is that really understandable and normal? Is it OK to be a jerk when paying for past and present sins you are busy denying exist? God is not One to be fooled. He sees and knows everything. You can lie to yourself so long and other people so long but God sees. He awaits that humble, contrite heart coming to Him for love and help which He freely gives. Then He wants change for your sake. Until then, I prayed for consequences. Be careful what you pray for. But I am with the Lord and ready. I am tired and am giving up on frustration. As such, I am now praying for all of it. I am being the humble one and admitting I cannot do this alone and refuse to be frustrated another day. So I give up. I have no control, perceived or otherwise. I can do nothing alone, I freely admit it. My meaning, identity, lifeblood, spiritual gifts, abilities, health, strength, oxygen, everything is completely dependent of God. So of course is every event and situation of my life. I can control nothing. I can want another person close to me to get help and repent, as it hurts everyone close to them as well as themselves, but I cannot change or soften a heart. Only God can, and He knows what it takes to soften and correct another soul He made. Of course, it is always their choice ultimately, but God knows them best and can help most if anyone can.
So, long story to say that I give up on frustration and will pray humbly and do everything I can do and give everything all over to God for His will to thrive. I want to and do decrease and Jesus Christ increases in my situation. And I will walk the path faithfully, even if God and I are the only faithful ones doing so. I will be trustworthy even if no one else is. I will be kind and encouraging even if everyone is mean and selfish around me. No matter, I give up frustration. I give it to God. And praise God for being strong enough to take it and work corrections and who knows, maybe miracles. ❤
God renews my strength and anyone’s strength at the opposite end of one humble prayer. God honors that smallest of sacrifices of one humble prayer. Vast mountains can move after one humble prayer. Governments can change after one humble prayer from a contrite and pure heart. Lives and focus can change from just one, you guessed it, humble prayer. Just do it. Just humble your heart before God and pray and you will be amazed at the depth, sheer power, wisdom, knowledge, understanding, peace and joy of our loving Savior. ❤
I grew up in Michigan and loved carpet because it was warmer than hard floor. There was a softness and cushion (ours was worn out but you could imagine it there and see it when furniture was moved lol). To me, it was warm and beautiful and cozy. In Florida now, where carpet is hard to come by, it is also now thought of as super ugly. Because it stains, can hold smells, holds dirt that cannot be retrieved by normal vacuuming, and holds heat.
Of course I was thinking about this and realize that those things about carpet that make it ugly are also in our brains. Yes, I am weird, let’s move on and hear me out. Our brains are collectors. We collect memories- good and bad- we hold them with their stains and dirt and smells. We have a trap door for all the garbage we put in there. And we vacuum to tidy up a bit but that pesky dirt is still there. When we get really convicted, we ask God for a thorough cleaning to get all the dirt out we cannot reach, and by His grace He removes it “as far as the east is from the west.” Them we let the rabble in again to put more dirt back in- filling our brains with more distractions and worldly lusts (maybe even porn), entertainment that glorifies humanity or demons rather than God, bad scenes, arguing and bickering, video games that glorify self or evil, social media that is narcissiatic, glorifying self. And all the while God longs to thoroughly clean us and keep us clean so we can spend time with Him and enjoy freedom and peace and joy and all the fruits of His Spirit and be beautiful again eternally.❤
When I drive now more than ever I am very defensive. People seem to be making irresponsible choices to text or stare at their phones now… a lot. It is their choice to do so, as it is my choice to make responsible choices and drive carefully with the phone down and on silent. That is one example.
I am not responsible for anyone else’s choices but my own and I am fully responsible for my own. I own them. What I do, I am responsible for. How I treat others, I am responsible for. What I say, I am fully responsible for. And the thing is, this is true of every single soul God created.
When we meet God soon in heaven, we will each account for our words and actions and choices. There will be no one to blame, no getting out of it, no reasoning it away or excusing it for emotional or hormonal drives. No, it is yes or no. Even now, as distracted as we are it is yes or no. Responsible choice? “Yes” or “no”. And anything added to “no” does not make it less of a “no”. ❤