I believe that from conception, we are destined to be on a strange journey until we leave this body and go to our eternal destination. I believe that we are on that strange journey partly because of the choices we make out of pride, selfishness, greed or even good intentions, but also because of the choices God makes in leading is toward Himself and a glorious eternity. I believe life is beautiful because everyone’s strange journey is unique. Even if it parallels another person’s journey, the giftedness of each person is unique, their looks or ethnicity is unique, their other relationships are unique, and these differences are part of the beauty. And all the twists and turns make it even more beautiful and hopefully closer to God. And my own personal story, wrought with glory, joy, happiness, intense pain, more intense pain, almost killed me pain, beauty, nature, travel, lots and lots of people, distance at times and now extreme closeness to God, music, art, leadership, degrees from formal education, life education, children, husband, and grandchildren, and weirdness. This has been the highlights of my life. I would not change a damn thing, not even the near death experiences, not even the depression, and definitely not all the good moments or those two seconds when life was perfect and I felt loved unconditionally by a person which faded fast. All of it and definitely my relationship with God my Father, I would not change one thing. It is accumulatively strange and beautiful. No one’s story is mine. No one’s mind is filled with my memories and story. These together are my steange and amazing journey. And yours is just as unique and strange.and beautiful. This is exactly as God designed and intended. Perfectly imperfect.❤
It is a lie that we are ever alone. Sometimes I forget that and feel how I am feeling right now… alone. My loving God is one humble prayer away. Yet sometimes I forget and have to remind myself. Why? What is so great that it blocks my vision? And the answer I determined is that it is a cumulation of little things, a myriad of distraction bricks that add up to one large brick wall to shade me from the brilliant truth. The anniversary of my Daddy’s death, the death of a great friend, the rejection and abandonment of another, kids needs, spousal needs, being constantly criticized, demands of time, coaching, leading choir, the band, teaching, cleaning houses, etc. It seems like I should be savagely content with so many people around me pressing in at every turn. But these things, at the end of the day, drain me and as I sit in the dark alone in my room, waiting for my brain to stop so my sleep can come, I wish strong arms would hold me and I feel so so very alone. The distractions, you see, again forged a chasm between the many things requiring my time and attention and my precious Savior who should have it all. My priorities flipped and I confess that I need alone time with God desperately. So tomorrow I will arise early and walk with Him. And He will help me as He always has done and I will get my mind right with His help. I will remember that He is always with me, always loves me and comforts those who mourn and admit they need Him. And I will repent of my falling for the distraction scheme and busyness and remember that no is a good word when you need time with God, nothing wrong with that. Yes can never be the only word or the distraction liars will walk all over me again. Tired of that. I will fight. God will help as He always does. ❤❤❤
God is good. Only in staying close to God do I resemble goodness.
God is love. Only in staying close to God do I stay loving.
God is light. Only in staying close to God do I shine.
God is wise. Only in staying close to God can I convey wisdom.
Relationship to God is my priority. God, keep me close to You.❤❤❤