So, in my spare time, I will be working on a quilt for my bed. I have never made anything like that for myself because I thought it was selfish. I still think it is, but it is an avenue for creativity and an artistic work for my hands to keep busy with in spare time. I detest just sitting and doing nothing unless there is a good movie or something. So, I am designing it with materials left over from the quilts I made for my kids (the only quilts I have ever made) and odd fabric I had. I will design a keyboard in it and notes and guitars and drums because it is such a strong part of us. I will have a background of a barn like the one I grew up with. It is an art project. I am excited. So many renovations are being done on the house, it will be nice to not be cold at night with the air conditioner right on me. So I am excited for warmth. And there really is no moral contemplation here except to say that I am very thankful to God for both creativity, supplies, and an outlet to keep me sane in this dry period. And while I work, I am always praying, so that is a beautiful thing for me. I am so thankful. I know it is God who does all good things.
Tomorrow, our band plays an oldies rock and roll gig at the Hard Rock Hotel, a black tie thingy. And we look forward to this standing gig every year. And that got me thinking. Last year, I was a different person with different focus and different mindset. We had a different Drummer, no longer with us now. I had Daddy still with us and I was helping in his care so the gig was like a vacation. My husband and I had a strained relationship for all the time I spent caring for dad and his stress over working. The kids were a year younger. This year, I go into the gig differently. My voice is stronger. We have a new Drummer (whose wife is not psycho, thank God, so less stress). Daddy lives in Heaven now. My kids are older. My husband is now retired. His and my relationship is strong now and peaceful. The kids are older. I am stronger and wiser for having gone through all that. And I have to say that this gig is such a vastly better proposition and I am looking forward to it very much. It is always wonderful to play a great event at a beautiful place and now the stress level is way way below market value. And whatever happens in the world, this GS are better internally in me because of God and He is still in charge of everything. And I thank God for the gig and the setting and the peace in my life. I thank God for my family and our life, our country and the ability to still make music.
Nothing stirs the soul, awakens the imagination or feeds the mind like music. It is a dance of the Divine on the ears and hearts of its listeners. It is constant in nature and can be heard always when still. People recreate it to their best abilities, people try to capture and convey and tell their own story as it is played. Music can go against its nature and denote pain or upheaval, express negativity and rebellion, hatred, evil. Everything good can also be used for evil, but in its pure form, in its purest self, music speaks of Divine things, joy, peace, hope, gentleness, it is a love thing. And when I have hiked alone and sat for days under the sky and found rest and solitude in the world God made, the music of nature sounded sweetly in my ears as strongly and as real as the best of Braums or Mozart or as sweetly as Jewel or Fernando Ortega. Yes, it sometimes had the fun of Marley or passion of Santana or expressiveness of Adele but in its subtlest form. In nature you have to be still and quiet to hear it but it is there as strongly as you or I. It breathes out the music of the Divine and breathes in the unclean then out comes the clean music. It cleanses the soul as it plays this timeless rhythmic original piece. Nature orchestrates the Divine music with clarity and distinction so beautifully that tears flow. I long to hear it again. I long to play it. When my fingers lightly touch the keys, I work to repeat the sound I hear in my soul from these visits. I work to portray the fingerprint of the Divine in my expression of music. I long to play with other musicians with such similar longings of the heart and together it is so beautiful. To come close to the emotion of the Divine music which flows and encompasses the very soul of a musician is to share a very special place which no one but a musician can possibly understand or appreciate but enjoys hearing when pure of heart. To open one’s self to the expression of music is to become vulnerable to other’s interpretation of it or knowledge and rejection of you personally because it is such and part of you. But to express yourself to the Divine is to worship Him and the rest takes care of itself. A musician is being who they were meant to be when they tap into the natural music of the Divine and deign to play what their heart finds. It is truly beautiful!
- I understand this is out of topic for my normal (yes, I use the term loosely) blogs, but I am about to pick up my pen again (laptop, actually) and write another book, this one an autobiography (not that I am famous but I have led a fascinating life that might help someone else). So, of course, thought of my favorite authors. It occurred to me that the absolute beauty and mesmerizing quality of Jane Austen’s great classic novels is the relatable quality they possess and the positive spin and wholesomeness of that spin. I love Louisa May Alcott for the same reason. Also, I am female and very few men would have the patience to understand how true these characters are to what we go through. There are amazing coincidences, granted, but who cannot relate to financial hardships, choosing a spouse, wrestling with emotions, parental interferences, sibling love and also rivalry, moves, vacations, death of loved ones. Who cannot relate to these experiences? Everyone knows an Elizabeth and hopefully a Darby, everyone knows an obnoxious Mrs. Bennett or detestable Fanny, and I believe I once dated a Willoughby. Lol And I think in real life also our story may have familiar experiences with different faces and meaning but varies so sharply that each view of their life is decidedly unique. To know people fully is to love them. This is why God loves us so much more than any human can, because He made us and knows us best. We are characters that develops as our stories and journeys continue on, each taking twists and turns that are unique to us but never a surprise to Him, the Author. I love getting to know other people for this reason and am very thankful for all of it. We all have amazing stories to tell that will help someone.
I love watching movies- all kinds except horror or porn (too much of the trash we have in too much abundance in the world these days and there is no redeeming value, only harm in those). I love action, adventure, drama, romance, documentaries, animated, the works. My favorite is comedy though and here is why. Comedy always masks and makes lighter severely poignant and severe realities and brings out the funny of this horrible and realistic situations we often find ourselves in. I recently watched (like 5 minutes ago literally) all alone in my little apartment this French romantic comedy called Blind Date (thank you, Netflix) and it made me think about life and relationships a bit differently,and that is the beauty to me of movies and their power. I have never seen a bad movie (yes, I am that annoying type) and believe we can all draw out something new, an i sight, an idea, a viewpoint,a twist from every movie we see. We feel more connected to other people. We see things from another’s viewpoint, we see another part of our world than the little circle we live in. We become a little more understanding or knowledgeable or wise or informed and hopefully less judgmental or closed or sheltered or lonely. Maybe I am too visual or optimistic but this is how I view the world and movies and me. There are lessons everywhere and we can have open eyes and open minds and open and humble hearts and internalize what we see to make us better. We must grow as followers of God and I see movies as a tool. Of course all tools must be used wisely and for the right reasons and certainly one must be searching for the positive truth in the world. I am quiet and contemplative after every movie, even one I laughed my butt off during. Lost more butts that way. And every movie bears a lesson, even if it is to enjoy and celebrate life. Never underestimate the power of a movie to change your thinking. Just make sure your mind is being changed for the better, as in better in God’s eyes. Cheers! (Don’t forget the popcorn. 😉
Life is not but a journey of growth.
The lessons they shape as onward we go
Past the darkness of valley, the triumph of peaks
And all through it, God’s presence we take
Though we may not feel it, we may feel on our own
And think that our heartbreak is borne all alone.
We must then dig much deeper still
Past the pain and emotions, past our great strength of will
And drop our defence and bend on our knees
And give God our broken and His love receive.
So cheer for your journey now and into the fog
Keep your head to the wind and your focus on God.
As the end comes for those we grew up listening to, a part of us ends. That comfortable spot in our memory of a singer or band or their collective music or works of art in an artist in general, even paintings or sculptures or movies or good books, is now uncomfortable or saddened to some degree. I had friends that called to comfort me when Rich Mullins died. I am now comforting my husband because Lake (of Lake, Emerson and Palmer) died. It is of great meaning when one whose work we utilized in our psyche growing up become unable to be seen. Knowing they are still out there is somehow comfortable for us. So losing them from this world we are a part of is very sad and we should grieve these things. They are a part of who we are. So peace with you, Mr. Lake, and thank you for the beautiful music you made that stirred my husband’s soul and caused him to miss you. You will be missed truly. God rest your soul.