I long for home, meaning heaven or back on a farm in Michigan. You could get away to work alone on the farm, be in a sort of solitary enjoyment and working the land God made. I love and miss that quiet that never happens in a big city suburb in the third most populated state in the US, Florida. If you live busy, fun, crowded beaches, theme parks, sun every day, beautiful tropical plants all over year round, this is the place to come. If you want to be alone and still and quiet, enjoying nature, you would have as much trouble ad I am. I love people, just not so many so close. Especially when driving.
However, God has helped me be internally at peace amidst this perpetual chaos. He has trained me to listen to Him and I can do that now even when it is busy, busy, busy. And this has been a great learning experience and I no longer want to shoot out people’s tires and I am much more calm when they take my parking spot. I am certain the peace of God has kept me out of jail, come to think of it. And, in all seriousness, I know it has made me a better person in every way. Yes, I still want heaven or a farm in thr middle of nowhere, but I will take peace inside as a beautiful way of life and a tool to still have peace in chaos.😄❤
Venturing out into the realm of the semi-sane, I reminisce with about a milliion thoughts at once, some good, some not, some neutral to carry the burden of the flesh making sense of the spirit realm. I find myself in this place of unsorted logic and well sorted fantasy and I pause. I have once again ventured too far in, to far down the rabbit’s hole into the bizarre netherreaches of quasi-logic. I pause. Here before all of us is an as yet unparalleled mix of distractions and foolishness clouding the sight of the physical so the spirit is camaflouged during a time it would behoove us to truly focus on that which is spirit and is the cause of the terror, the evil, the darkness, the distractions, the confusion, the foolishness. All things happening are warning the spirit to wake up not chasing the body toward its distractedness. The opposite reaction is occurring. And the crazy is evident, the irrationality is vast, the denial is abundant and the lies are ubiquitous. There is an amazement at those who can keep calm amidst the chaos and our lights shine so brightly within us who know these secret things and rest secure despite it all in our precious Savior Jesus Christ. God gives us the choice to know the truth and embrace it and find rest in Him OR hit the crazy fantasy searchers who need distraction to feel safe and not fear. Fantasy, escape from realities, make people feel secure, better, even happy for a moment, euphoric for a little bit but peace does not find anyone where God’s Spirit is not. It can’t. They are connected, related, relevant, necessary.You can not have one without the other. You can’t, not permanently. The only way to counter crazy is to promote peace and love and faith and hope and light and truth. And those things only come from God. You can’t fight a sword with a banana. You need the right tools. If you are tired of crazy and uncertainty, man up with some Holy Spirit. You can find Him by praying to God the Father and reading His Word the Bible. It is just that simple. And simple is what is needed. Simple and distractionless. So here is our hope, personally and for our country and world. It is truly that simple.
Watching the best and strongest man I have ever known slowly shrivel up is the most difficult thing I have gone through because I love him and know him. To also have someone in your life not care about your pain in helping care for this great man and criticize and complain rather than be honored by the service increases the difficulty. To add pests in the house, trust issues in other arenas, responsibilities of work, teaching and raising children, leading a band, playing piano at church, being a friend to other hurting people and narcissism of seemingly everyone around us adds to chaotic turbulence of life. Am I complaining? No. And let me tell you why. It is my firm belief that I am honored to be in such a position and still be at peace and joy internally, so much so that I can do all these things at once. Where is this peace from? How did I obtain it? Sounds simple, but it was from God. The Holy Spirit in me renews my peace and joy no matter what threatens to undo it. I asked Him too and humbly put down my own control over the situations. I decided rightfully long ago that if I used my own strength, even though I am a strong person, eventually my strength buckles. There is only so much a human can take. We have limitations, though amazingly made. So, understanding this, God allowed me to see that He was the only One big enough to handle any and every complexity and attack that could ever come my way now and forever. So, I pray. God changes things while I do what I can and be as humble as possible. My goal each day is to remember that my being and significance and any good in me is only because God wanted it that way. He loves me because He wants to. There is my strength. My greatest strengths in letting go. The last of worship in life is letting go of one’s agenda (not dreams- that is from Him) and attempting to be a conduit of Him, giving Him His rightful place and serving where given the opportunity to serve. The peace and joy flow freely as a blessing and reward from God in response to our humble obedience and worship. And rightfully so. God is a peaceful, joyous God. He loves me. He loves you. Always has.