Still Learning

I am still on a journey, still humbly teachable

I walk or run as need demands

I am still on this journey with those I love

Those who remain are purposeful.

I still journey on, no matter the weather

It all has a purpose.

On my journey, no matter the hostile environment

Faith reminds me God walks beside.

I am still on a journey of epic proportions

To heaven one day and here now.❤

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Greatness of Music

Music, if you are good at it and do it right, tells the listener about you. Without saying a word, music says more than words can. This is why musicians understand musicians better than anyone else and why listeners like some musicians above others, because some are great at their artistry in music and some do not let themselves out. Now not everyone has opportunity to do this or the guts, but those that really tell their story through their music shine like a lighthouse. We just watched a documentary on the life of John Coltrane, and he was very much a master at this expression of music. And when I grow up, I want to push hope and inspiration through my fingers into the keys and produce inspiration. ❤

Then Came the Dawn

The darkest hours in history always preceded the dawn. That is still true. It will be true tomorrow. In many ways, light is gaining ground and yet darkness digs in, refusing to be extinguished without a valiant effort. However, darkness knows full well that it’s time is short. Those benefitting from the darkness will do so for only a short time and then will be imprisoned by it forever. Now is the time to choose light, the winner and champion. For the dawn comes. It always does. It always will. And one day soon it will do so forever. Do not doubt the light of dawn or its power. For darkness runs from it with its tail between its legs. Never doubt it. God is the light and Jesus ushers in the dawn.❤

Remember to Pray

Please remember to pray. Pray for our country, our President and those working for us, for our enemies, our church, our friends, our families, ourselves. This is a long hall we walk to heaven, wrought with obstacles and distractions, but keep focused on Jesus. Pray diligently. Read the Bible to fill up on truth. Keep doing it. We got this! ❤

Past Clarity

Many can relate, I have spoken with many who get it, who feel me when I say I grew up neglected and criticized. My dad was my strongest supporter but he was rarely home. My grandmas loved me but one I did not see anywhere near enough and one was too busy and clean for me as a kid. My Aunt supported me but was married to a control freak and started her own family. I would have given anything for regular encouragement. So I got straight “A’s” for a pat on the back from school and volunteered for everything at church to feel valuable there. I cleaned the entire house, mowed the lawn, played the piano brilliantly, searched and searched for encouragement and attention, both of which I lacked. Instead I received criticism from my mom and abuse and verbal attacks from my lazy sister. And God gave me the grace to move forward. I decided at age 9 to be a doctor and poured into that goal. I wrote songs, played piano and sang. All searching for encouragement and attention. When looking for a husband, I wanted encouragement and attention and ended up with attention man who criticized and ignored me. God kept moving me forward. After divorcing him and remarrying, my current husband was great at first and now is criticizing me. And now my son is being raised with criticism. So now I know I am the problem. I must be unable to be encouraged. I must do everything wrong. I must be weird. But God keeps moving me forward. You see, I realize that God is the Maker of me. He made me strong to get this far. He made me smart to become that doctor. He made me musical to play for Him. Whether or not any other human being appreciates me or encourages me ever, I know Whose I am. I am God’s little girl. I am the girl He has forgiven and loves and has gifted to worship Him. I am God’s and He keeps moving me forward as encouragement. And if He is the only One I have, He is the only One I need and that is enough. I am content. I trust no human but I trust God. And heaven is not far off, for He will come soon for us. Then none of this unfair life will matter, it will all be forgotten, so long as we keep moving forward with God and saved by Jesus. ❤

Keep Praying

The requests grow linger every day, just keep praying.

Your mountains rise from molehill made, just keep praying.

Drama arises to attack, just keep praying.

No more energy to fight back, just keep praying.

It may seem a worthless tool, but please remember God saith

A prayer will only be answered with humbleness and faith.

Combine those and present them high and keep your eyes upon the sky

And just keep praying.❤

Control Freaks

I gotta admit that in my previous life B.C. (before Christ) I was all about control, and not necessarily myself. I had about certain way I thought my life and those I loved and society at large should be and worked agressively to get there and live up to that expectation. I always tried to be good and moral as I was raised and wanted good for everyone, which is lovely, but tried to force everyone into how I thought it should be good. Strange, I know, but nonetheless, people will always do what they want or decide to do no matter how much you want them to do something else. Porn addicts will remain so until they decide not to be controlled by those evil urges anymore. Alcoholics will continue to drink until they decide not to be controlled by that evil (for them) substance anymore. Same with drug addicts or workaholics or food addicts, etc. No one can control another person. At least not for long. Nor is it healthy. Unless it is their decision, they will keep doing it. Real/God’s love and gentleness may pull them out or at least get them to listen but they still have to make the choice. They may respect you enough to not do it in front of you or become or attempt to become sneaker about it but they will keep doing it. It is their own attempt at control, which is ironic and the lie because they are actually giving up control to the thing addicted to. They want control and have accepted the lie as truth that the addiction gets them there. It never ever ever ever will. In fact, it keeps them from a deep bond with God who loves them no matter what and is actually strong enough and willing to help. So stop trying to control or change anyone but yourself and just accept them as they are and heap love on them or decide to reject their behavior and leave. Quit whining and make a decision and do it. I control very little except myself internally and even that I defer to God most of the time. And I am content, at peace, full of joy. Yes, I am very tired often for being second to a disgusting addiction, going with unmet needs often, and if I think fleshly and emotionally, I can become despondent and forlorn. But in my Spirit, as I read my Bible and pray and keep giving everything to God, He continues to comfort me and love me and provide. God is that big and loving. What a great comfort that is!!!! ❤