Living With vs. Approving Of

Just because I tolerate a bad behavior does not mean I applaud it. Or does it? I have things I work on and so does he. If I let some things slide, am I admitting none of us are perfect and saying I love you anyway? Or am I condoning a sin that keeps him in bonage to it and thus being guilty of it as well? This moral dilemma, I believe, requires God’s wisdom and truth and God’s power and direction in order to know. Basically, I will do what I believe is best and listen all the while to the Holy Spirit to direct me to what God wants me to do. What else can any of us do? Only God knows how to save a person and only He can share what little we might be able to do to help. ❤

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Not Sure When It Happened

A lot I do remember, some is still fuzzy, and I have lost the memories of many a tumultuous year. And I have forgotten many deep wounds and remember others still (although the pain has been replaced by scars dripping with forgiveness), lots I appreciate and many great little moments worked in. I remember many guys, which led me to the decision that either most guys are selfish or more likely that I have not exhibited great wisdom in the past choosing guys, which is far more likely (or maybe 50/50 with college guys of which I am referring). And somewhere along this 43 year trek of road along this journey, not even sure of exactly when, but I believe God has tamed me. Through suffering and moments of glory, God has melted this wild girl into some semblance of a tame but strong, Godly woman. That is certainly not to brag, I am not sure if I know of many more humble, but it is to say that God is a miracle worker because me being tame is a miracle and only God could do that. I have been a fighter rebel, proud and strong, defending the weak (and me too) most of my life, living free and wild by hook or crook, desperate for adventure and attention and a kind word from anyone, no matter what it took to get one. And God shaped that sad soul into the woman I am, His little girl grown up to be momma to many. And that is why God is my Champion, my Lord and Master, my Savior, my Father and my Friend. He made me, I blew it, and He remade me. What story is more beautiful? Any that go like that. God is everything, friends. Don’t neglect Him for He does not neglect us. He is for us.❤

Run the Race

Never give up. Run the race. Finish the course before you. And on your journey to heaven, don’t forget not only to focus on Jesus’ arms ahead but on the beauty of the journey itself. There is glory in everything God made… His fingerprint and breath, His design and inerrant beauty. Run the race with purposefully beautiful intentions.❤

Hard Days

When they wear you down, and the days are harder than you thought they could be, know that we are all having those days. You are not alone. You are not the only one feeling pain and being insulted. But know this. The other person who shares the experience of difficulty, insult, pain, hardship, persecution of all types was Jesus Christ. So praying to Him about these things is taking your pain to someone who also lived it, understands it and loves you. And when you truly get this, you have a world of help and hope. So, consider this and know you are lived so much by God. Love you.❤

Life is Also in the Pain

As a doctor, I know some stuff about medicine and the human body. And I have read up on many illnesses, they just fascinate me because of my love for humanity and how things work. And a book I read about leprosy opened my eyes to the appreciate pain as a valuable part of life. He documented lepers throughout their illnesses as he treated them. Their biggest problem and sadness was not being able to feel pain, so they would get wounds they didn’t know about. They wanted more than anything to feel pain because they stated they don’t feel alive or a part of life without it. Pain is connection. Since reading that book, I look at pain differently. We barely grow in character with good times, however immense growth and character development happens through pain. At least for me it works that way. I don’t go searching for pain still, but if it comes, I am appreciative of the lesson I search out. It is a good part of connection, learning and life. ❤

Tired Now

I started an exercise regiment for my kids now in school. This is because I started to notice more of them and it reminded me that they have my genes and will be prone to carry more with them. So, we are becoming healthier on purpose. And I realized that healthy takes a lot more energy and time. Lol So, in addition to a schedule busy with band gigs and church kids choir and landscape work, we are also doing school and extra healthy exercise and diet and stuff. So wow. And all these things happened in one day along with having to sight read a song for a wedding I was asked to play for with a cellist (practice was today). So that was fun. Everything in one day and I am exhausted. Literally exhausted. Doing a lot one day or a few days is a lot, but we are at a little more than a month of this pace now. Oy. Ready for a vacation. Figi, maybe? Hawaii? For now, I will say a prayer and go to sleep. Sweet dreams. Remember to make God your priority for He made you. Love you. Zzzzzzzz…❤

Of All the Beautiful Days

This day was full of busy (the 5-k and making of a costume before a deadline) and beautiful catching up with wonderful friends we love dearly that live far away. It rang with the familiar bells of too much to do, blended with the joy and peace of reuniting with very great friends and then more busy-ness (the flat tire) and then more beautiful with watching my husband’s other band play a gig and then being a roadie. Busy and beautiful was the order of the day, and despite every potential frustration, I have been unable to stop smiling. Truly, God’s brilliant light shone on us all day long. He is the Maker and lifter of our heads. May God be praised!!❤