Hard Lessons

Ok, so in my younger days, ahem, God had to whack me in the head to get my attention and teach me lessons I desperately needed to learn to be useful in His kingdom and even right now in this place with these people. I was largely on my own in many ways and was grossly independent with an annoying kind of false humility (which is based on an enormous pride) and I needed training tempered with love (most often) to get my hard-headed attention. I desperately needed to be humbled and alone with God. It is funny thr clarity that comes with decades of maturing, mildewing and contemplation.

The hardest lessons ever were always the same lesson: I am little but loved and God is great, solely worthy of worship, and the only One trustworthy who loves me unconditionally.

It seems a simple lesson. I was not simple. I knew enough to be dangerous but not wise, highly intelligent and over-thinking everything but with an arrogance I am almost embarrassed by now. God has always been about simple presentation of that lesson. And He has always been about a relationship with me, amazingly, and is big enough to have that with everyone who accepts Jesus as their Savior.😄❤

Honored to Have Broken

I have long known the bit about God using the broken beautifully. I have lived it. But in my case, it was my choice to be broken. How so? God wanted me because my Grandmas and Aunts were praying for Him to want me and I was proud and rebellious. I would not humble my heart to God with any of His many gentle nudges. So I had to be broken to have a chance to be humbled. God loved me enough and answered their prayers enough to break me to save my soul. I am excessively thankful and God can break me anytime I need it. I choose to stay humble, though, because I see it’s value. I realize you cannot have a relationship with God puffed up with pride. If broken gets you humble, be thankful for the broken. If broken does not lead to humble, it is wasted and may need to be repeated. Accept the lesson for it means you are loved enough to endure some temporary earthly pain to gain eternal glory. Someone is praying for God to draw close to you. Be thankful. Choose truly humble of heart to draw close to God who can make everything better inside- peace and joy and all.😄❤

A Life Lesson From Carrots

Our carrot harvest was small. Lots of carrots were there fully matured but tiny. Half of them were too skinny to eat of any use at all. Of the half that were edible, only a few had reached their full potential. I realized what I did wrong. I did not thin them and planted the seeds too close together. I let them be comfortable.

However, my lack of thinning them made them be overcrowded. They had no room to expand or grow. They needed me to disturb their comfort and move them around, separate them from their comfort in order for them to grow stronger and healthier. They would have benefitted us more had I disrupted their comfort.

This is how life is. God has to mess up our comfort a bit because we need to grow stronger, for our benefit and His kingdom’s benefit.

A comfortable life can never be the goal… growth is. A closer relationship to God, deeper roots, healthy strength to help nourish others and praise God. God would not be showing us the most love and care by leaving us alone in comfort, just as I did not show my carrots the greatest love and care by leaving them aline in comfort. Comfort spoiled the carrot harvest. Comfort spoils our usefulness.

As children of God, we need to appreciate and thank Him for the struggles He allows in our lives. Proves He loves us and wants us to grow stronger. I will be grateful and not grumble anymore to the best of my ability. God knows what is best for me and has always done that for me despite my lack of understanding at the time. He is God and I most certainly am not.❤

Struggling

When things are going well, look out. All was quiet for about a minute and internally peaceful with God’s love and grace and help. Still is really but seeing someone from my past pop up, someone I used to know every secret, someone who I obviously loved incredibly more than he loved me, who I haven’t seen in a long time, and now I am married to my husband and all is in the past. But seeing the face and hearing the name from a friend just reminded me of the weirdness and struggle with keeping focused on the now. It is easy for me to get distracted, my mind is always racing and God is the only one now who can focus me. And I had to refocus because it is strange to see someone you loved in the past out of nowhere when the loving someone now and being committed in marriage is happening. And I thought hard and really truly would not change a thing. If I had not gone through heartbreak, I would not realize fully God’s strength in restoring me and raising me from the dead. He saved me from myself, no question in my mind. I accept that everything happens for a reason, a blessing or a test, and that God gives grace when we fail the test if we ask Him and smiles if we pass the test. Tests must be. How else does anyone really know how they will respond in a specific situation if they are never in one. It is easy to say the right words without a struggle. When the struggle comes, you and God see what you are made of and infinitely more important what God is made of. How erasylse can we know with our tiny human minds? God has to show us. And I am so very thankful He chose grace for me and gave me a wonderful husband who takes such good care of us. I am content no knowing or contemplating the what ifs. What matters is the now. I choose God’s way and path for me. I am thankful for the blessings and thankful even more for the struggle. Pain is an impressive teacher sometimes if we are open to and decide to learn the leason. ❤

A Tale of Two Women

There were two sisters who were born only 15 months apart. Both girls were raised in a Christian home, went to Christian school and church, and had parents that prayed with them at mealtimes and bedtime and had a hard-working father and mother who was a housewife. Both girls were taught the same, brought up with the same morals. Despite these commonalities, there were some differences. The greatest was that one daughter was favored and a bit privaleged by the residing parent and the other girl had to do all the work. Regardless, the girls ended up quite different. And it is opposite what most people think of. The privaleged, favored child did not appreciate being treated so well. She did not grow up happy at her better treatment. No. She ended up jealous and spoiled. The girl who was treated to all the work appreciated life more, loved nature, felt confident that she could take care of herself (because of her experience doing so) and yhis girl was happy. 

So, my point is that spoiling your kid is not beneficial. Neglecting is not good either but there must be a proper work load on your kid to give them self-confidence and enjoyment of accomplishment that only comes from doing something. One learns nothing from doing nothing, but one learns something from doing something.❤