Lately, I have laid to rest two very dear friends and my Daddy I love is fading fast. And it occurred to me just exactly how precious every single good thing is in reality. It is so very easy to see things as mundane and take them for granted and tomorrow they may not be here at all. Things happen just that fast sometimes. It is heartbreaking and devastating if you focus on the badness of all of that, the heaviness, the weight of it on your head and heart. However, one thing is I know I am so prayed for and that God has answered prayers of my loved ones still with me and has given me this perspective… be thankful for every moment, every second, every kiss, every touch, every dinner together, every cup of hot cocoa curled up in front of a movie together, every hand holding yours, every shared song, every time your band plays together, even for crappy practices, everything good. Value it. Cherish it. Take pictures. Be very thankful. Then, when bad things happen as they are bound to, we can have amazing memories and moments in time and prayers of appreciation for these things to lift us from the mire. And a life of appreciation brings about positive from an otherwise negative experience. Fortunately, my friends and soon my Daddy went to heaven and I will see them again and they are happy and whole and pain free right now. That is a positive. The positive, happy things HAVE to be the focus. Too much focus on the pain of loss or sadness or moments you will miss or regrets will destroy anyone. Appreciating the now moments, every single one, prevents regrets and keeps one positive and hopeful and in love with life. We have to do this to self preserve and to be amazing and strong people amidst hardship. Otherwise, what was the point? If we are destroyed with the first bad, how high can we hold our heads? How can we represent our Maker God that way? We are saying He is not enough for us. And He is. Really if all we had is ourselves and Him, we’re still good. Because He can make a whole other way, a new life, a new journey, a new journey partner. God can do anything He pleases, so let us thank Him for what treasures He gives us all the time and appreciate all this and we let His goodness, strength and creativity flow through us. Every moment. Pay attention to them. Love them. Live in them.
Moment by moment, the soul protests
The giving away of a great thing attests
To the lack of some semblance of fairness I see
And the realization of what will not again be.
And I pause. And I pray.
Moment by moment, the Spirit interjects
The giving of blessings I cannot forget
And it amazes me so how the bad masks the good
Until I demand that thankfulness be where it should.
And I pause. And I pray.
Moment by moment, I’ve much to enjoy
The day to day workings of my girl and boy
And my family and friends and dear husband too
Remind me that God is so very very beautiful through.
And I pause. And I pray.
Time is my primary love language, so I understand its importance in my life. If people love me, they spend time with me. If I love them, I spend time with them. It is unnatural to people who speak a different love language. Someone who primarily gives gifts thinks giving someone something or spending money on them says I love you, whereas someone who is set up for time thinks that is very nice but let’s go out or stay in together and that may not matter to the other person. There is a disconnect. But I digress, I want to focus on time for this thought process. Time to me is of the utmost importance. Primarily because it only lasts as long as it does and then is gone forever. You can not reclaim it. You can not unlive it. You can not return and correct it. You also can not speed it up or slow it down, though it feels like that sometimes. You have to take it for what it is. We are restricted by time. Time has great value. You can not with any amount buy more of it. You have what is allotted to you unless it is taken first. And that is it. A bleak thought but a meaningful one. Because. Each moment needs to count. Some moments, you wonder why you even exist. Other moments, you are certain the world would applaud if they saw you right then. Some moments can bring the greatest laughter of your life. Other moments leave you reliving its horror. Life is a mixed bag when it comes to time. But making moments as great and memorable as possible is a goal of mine for my children. It doesn’t always work, but I try to bring about as many joyful moments for them as possible to give them a coat rack to hang their coats on, stability in an uncertain world, loving thoughts amidst hate around them. Time is very fragile and should be captured in glorious memories as long as is possible. And every moment lived purposefully and beautifully is another that is won for security, for remembering when we need a lift, for attending to. Each opportunity to shine and serve should be taken, each kiss should be felt, each hug should be notated, not because we are taking inventory but because we want our memory libraries to look back on and feel proud, loved, happy, peaceful, etc. when we need them. I have friends who have died already, taken before their time, and many more with cancers of various types, fighting the battle to live. And they are my age. They say how valuable time is and how they took it for granted that they had more. And Lord willing they make it through and have many many more years with us. But their viewpoint has certainly changed. Time is fragile and thus so are we. We need to respect that moment each of us are living in the here and now. We should plan for the future but with a flexibility that still allows us to live each moment that arises and pay attention to opportunities to be who we were made to be. Then we can look at our time and be proud of those moments. And they matter, all of them. The silly is as important as the purposeful too, for silly helps sometimes.
People move a lot. So many reasons for this. Some go where the job is, so go for climate, some to chase other people who already moved, some for change, some running away, many reasons. You learn (when you have lived quite a few years) that change is I evitable and that you live in this moment as big as you can. Take it all in, take pictures, remember because you do not know how long you will have this person in your life. I used to walk with a friend every morning I walked but now I don’t have that privilege anymore. I miss it. I had friends who hugged that I no longer can hug. I miss that. I know many friends who have enlarged their families since I left that I will never know, and I miss separation from their lives. As many times as I moved for school, I always made beautiful friends that I had to leave behind. I miss them. When you move, you always leave some or a lot of your heart behind. Of course, there is a flip side to this. Wherever you go, there are more people. I have searched for places without anyone, but you wouldn’t want to live there. So, opportunity exists to make new friends, enlarge your heart where you are, repair it. And there is one Friend you take everywhere you go. God never leaves your side. He never decides He is done with you. He never decides one day to stop holding you or showing you His world. He is the one constant in this moving world. We move, others move, God is already there. Love that about Him. If you need arms to hold, He will somehow get some to you or He will just hold your heart. It is beautiful. Each day with a friend is a treasure. Guard it, make it count. And never forget your constant Person in life.
It is impossible (financially, time wise, etc.) To vacation as often as I would like. It just cannot be done. So, the absolutely beautiful mind is that we can command it when we must. And when crazy is becoming your dominant feature, we can call ourselves out for a brief vacation moment to calm our butts down and regain some peace before we continue on our merry way. When you are away from it all, even for a few minutes or hours if you are really blessed, the phone off, the TV off, the tablet and computer off, it becomes amazing that we tolerated all that noise before and no duh that we need a break from it once in a while. We need silence. Of course that happens indoors. Sometimes we need the noisy but peaceful silence of outdoors. Sometimes we need jazz or classical music, so staying that takes us where we usually are not mentally. Sometimes I change something up, add candles to dinner, draw a bath, add lights to a tent for the kids, so staying to mentally put you somewhere else. Isn’t that what a vacation is? The benefits are enormous: happy kids, happy spouse (well, unless like mine your spouse dislikes romance), happy me, happy you, peace and joy. There is a luxury in momentary escape. It refocuses you on what is truly important and what is distracting nonsense, which turns out a lot of chaos in life is. Most things in life can wait a little bit to answer, respond to, focus on. Very little is as important as we make it out to be. And really, if we get flustered at every little thing, how much faith in God could we possibly be exercising??