It could be that they put you down because they see you as way better than they are and, rather than put effort into becoming better, they want you beat down to their level. They, then, become bully cowards who are admitting their own poor worth. I feel sorry for them. If they realized how much Jesus loves them, maybe they would see we are all the same level as created but with different, amazing God-given potential. It could be that Jesus is the change that eliminates bullies and restores health to people. It could be if people accept Him. ❤
When I am pushed, I used to proudfully push back harder but now I respod quite differently. I now question the source. “Why push me?” “What do you gain from pushing ME?” “Who is pulling your strings?” “What motivated you to choose a push?” “Are you in charge here or are you a pathetic lacky?” And here is the question I ask when I feel the best about it… “What is the lesson I need to learn here?” I have known since childhood that ALL BULLIES ARE COWARDS. Also, I truly fear no one or nothing because I know and believe the truth that “Greater is God in me than he who is in the world.” That has not ever changed and will never change. The thing is that you will make a bully back down by standing up to them but will only change their hearts with God’s love. Questions are a way to get the person to think, thus planting a seed of thought into an otherwise automatic destructive mode. And maybe I can learn from it as well as they can. There is always more to learn. So I stop any immediate harm first and foremost. Then I question. When Jesus was bullied, He fired back with questions. Is He not our ultimate example? Yes, He is. So there ya go. Works every time and maybe you become their first real friend and give them a tool they can use for good or conversion or repentence.❤
All bullies are cowards. My daddy (the Marine) taught me that. He was right. He was always right because he never said anything unless he was sure he was right. When people attack, they are bullies and cowards. And there are one of three reasons: 1. they were brought up and/or treated that way, 2. they have pride issues and feel they need to feel more important by putting someone down or 3. they are really punks because they have been coddled and never disciplined and think they can do whatever they want. All of these categories boil down to the fact that regardless of why, they choose to attack. They choose aggression. Remember that. To defend yourself is the choice you must meet them with or the cycle continues. I have always done this and always prevented or curtailed or punished an attack. One time I was blindsided because it was an old boyfriend who had never acted that way before. Once I realized, it was too late but I took care of him after. I still stood up, still fought. Someone attacks you, turning the other cheek is the right thing to do but before you turn it, make sure your firearm is in hand. Rolling over and taking it empowers them to do it again, to you or your loved ones or other people. Bully cowards will keep attacking once they get away with it the first time, once they choose that behavior and level of cowardice. Defence is being a good steward of your body, God’s space to live in you. They chose to put their bodies in harm’s way by attacking, you must refuse to let them get away with imposing harm upon you or those in your care around you. The right thing is to stand against an attacker. Let no one tell you otherwise. Seems like an awful lot of people nowadays are getting away with an awful lot lately here and abroad. Fight back, people. We have arms for defence of ourselves and families. This is on purpose. There are bad people that should be relieved of their right to impose badness on everyone else. Who better to defend themselves than those who would be attacked. Do not let these lunatics free to attack. Stand against this evil. The day you let evil in, it does not stop until ruination. Do not reason with evil, stand against it with solid arms and a soft voice of truth. “Speak softly and carry a big stick” or equivalent you are comfortable with is still very good advice. Just my momentary thought after watching the news.
My kids and I stopped swimming and got out of the pool because something interesting caught our eye and we investigate such interesting things in nature. Well, we saw a large wasp being unable to get away being attacked by a large number of ants. It was incredible. These tiny ants, probably about 1/20th the size of this wasp were working together to prevent this large flying wasp from leaving the ground. They were attacking together and beat down and killed that giant as we watched. It was incredible. And I thought, the power of the ant is not his size, obviously. Yes, they are individually strongish when considering thier size but not strong enough to compare with a wasp normally. So, how could this happen? The strength of a tiny ant taking down a giant is numbers and teamwork. Ants work together and there are a lot of them doing it. How do cities develop? Lots of people working together. How are corrupt governments overthrown? Lots of people working together. How do bullies get defeated? Lots of people working together. The giants are brought down by teamwork among lots of people for the good of the people. One other note: Ants are not hotheads or selfish or narcissistic. They serve the colony. Our early forefathers were like that, many people working together to benefit everyone. They benefitted too of course because when everyone is pitching in and working together for everyone else, there are always opportunities to rise up and prosper, as long as the colony isn’t harmed by it in any way. So, we could learn a lot from the ants.
I can take a lot, A LOT of criticism from the masses. I am not offended when anyone criticises me in the public sector, business world, even many relatives. But when someone I let into my heart criticises and puts down, it hurts like nothing else since childbirth. It rips out chunks of your heart. Too much is ripped out, there isn’t enough left to keep loving that person except with the Spirit’s love He gives. Nothing else remains and the relationship is over to me. And done is done. That probably has to do with my temperament, that I am a February sweetheart, I don’t know. But I know that my soul is a sensitive one to those few I allow close enough to be in my inner circle. In that little region, I am easily hurt, vulnerable, sensitive and very very deeply loving. I see criticism very seriously there. I feel ever negative look, every pain of each person there, every happiness and sadness of the indwellers and would fight to the death for them no question at all. That tiny circle is a place of honor to me but a place of caution. I am cautious who I let in there for I give all of myself there, everything I have to give is given there. I come last. So there it is. Few know that about me because I do not share that side of me often and prefer most people’s knowledge of my fun lively nonchalant but high energy side. Why am I sharing this? Doesn’t this make me more vulnerable to those who would misuse me? The truth is that no one gets into the inner circle unless they are worthy to be there. If you are worthy of this level of giving of myself, you are not going to hurt me easily. And if you do, it hurts a lot. A lot is an understatement. It about kills me to be hurt at this level of intimacy. Hence so few being there. Torture to be criticized by those who I love so deeply. When I love, I love everything about the person, even things I don’t agree with, love the style of the person, love the uniqueness, the gifts God gave them, love how they are cut inside and out, appreciate every little detail of that person. There is no other way to love that I know of. So why go into all this detail about this little girl? Because pain hits hard for us sensitive ones. Negative names and criticisms hit hard for those of us who are all mushy on the inside but might look pretty hard on the outside. So, think before you find it your duty somehow to critique others. God made each of us different. Some are pretty hardcore or narcissistic and some love drama games and shows to prove their superiority and whatever nonsense. And then some of us prefer truth and honor to drama and self focus. We are the sensitive ones, the ones who may sometimes appear weak or wimpy. I assure you, when pressed that would not be the case, but our choice is to view things through the lenses of God’s view or creation of them. There is detail that cannot be overlooked or understated in its beauty in every person God made and we might choose to focus on that, which deserves respect. It is a gift from God. People deserve to be treated with dignity, with honor, with truth. To callously attack or criticize someone in not only mean but directly critical of God Almighty who made them and He will require an answer when you go to meet Him. Only someone perfect can criticise and judge others. And I only know One who fits that description.
1. Willful ignorance.
2. Selfishness and narcissism.
3. Mean spiritedness.
7. Inhuman behavior to other humans or animals.
8. Denying God His props.
9. Lack of freedom and appreciation for freedom and what it costs/costed.
10. Unforgiveness and ungenerosity.
So there is the list. I wrote the list becausee I met someone recently who actually exhibited all these. And not only have I gone through a roller coaster of emotions to get here but because I want to guard my own heart against these things. I believe maturity is not giving in to the temptation to treat people the way we have been treated. I also believe that when God forgives, He forgives completely and utterly and nothing of what He has forgiven remains in us. The other person may want to hang on to that and not forgive, but that only further injures themselves because who God has freed, they are free completely. So to my recent crazy, I tip my hat to the lesson that God is in charge still here on this third rock from the sun and I am forgiven and resting in His hands to handle the rest of it. He heals. Pet peeves that harrass and anger melt every single time into peace when on my knees. These horrors that can make a grown and mature person cry and resist and what not are absolutely nothing compared to the joy and peace of my God. An enemy cannot fight alone. If you do not fight back, they leave. All bullies are cowards. If they persist because they believe they are right or more right or a different more holy right than you, humbly let God fight for you and we will see who wins against Him. My guess is no one. There you have it. God bless and thank you, God, for your abundant love and peace and power. I am again amazed at Your efficiency and generosity and love and care of me. It is beautiful! Thank you for your peace!
I never knew his last name. Donnie was it. This was the late 70’s in the trailer park in Buchanan, MI, and I remember him to this day. I remember him because he touched my heart, he came in and made his impression known to me. You may be thinking some romance, but I assure you I was 9-ish years old and nothing could have been farther from the truth. You see Donnie had mental and some physical challenges. His mom was quite a bit older, the one time I saw her, and his dad also but apparently he was off and on abusive to Donnie. But Donnie always smiled at me. He couldn’t operate one hand well so it was tucked to the side most of the time. He rode his bike because he loved to and would wrap his damaged fingers around the bike handle bar on that side and happy as a lark ride around smiling at everyone. The bullies would tease him but he would smile. And something about that built me up way bigger than a 9 year old should ever probably be and I would get on my bike and ride with Donnie and dare those bullies to say a word. And they sometimes would. Once. You see, they knew I would not stop and way more importantly, they knew my Daddy. They knew he had been a Marine and a boxing instructor and was a farmer. They knew every muscle in that strong man and not because he bragged on it but because I did. At 9, I could not have taken on those much older and rougher and bigger male bullies alone. But because of the brains God gave me, I always had a perceived backing by this machine of a Dad (who they had absolutely no idea was a teddy bear inside now). I loved Donnie’s smile and it made me so very happy and proud to be fortunate enough to be smiled at by him. I thought that it was beautiful that God gave him that amazing smile though the world would only see the flaws. I loved that God enjoys variety in the treasures He makes in women’s tummies during that 9 months. I loved knowing Donnie and being the lead person in greeting him happily by name until other kids started doing the same. Filled me with pride. And I loved the power I could use to help him, just from knowing who my Daddy was and presenting him as all powerful (which he would have been if I needed him). I was powerful because my Dad was powerful. There was no one I could not stand up to because I knew who was in my corner. There was no power that could come against me and win because of Him. Now as an adult, I see my Daddy weak and frail and weaker and more frail every single day. And through my eyes, I look at him as I looked at Donnie. I do not see the flaws, I see the beauty God made, I see the man he was and always will be to me. And I know I have a great one in my corner still, a powerful friend who gives me drive and confidence and power to act and help save the Donnie’s of this world. And even were that not the case, I have the Maker of Men in my corner and who can face Him? Who can stand before their Maker? Not any one. So if you are a Donnie or a Daddy, God made you so incredibly beautiful and never forget the power of our Heavenly Daddy who is your backup.
I am thankful for friends during a very difficult season and I am so very honored for you to read my story. God gives us experiences to share and learn from. Part of who we are, they shape us and show us truths.